ya momma jokes please?

Question

as long as there funny no c.r.a.p ones

Answer 1

yo mama is so ugly she put the boogy man out of business. Yo mama is so ugly she makes Michael Jackson look like brad pitt. yo mama is so ugly she looked out her window and was arrested for indecent exposure. Yo mama is so stupid it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes. yo mama is so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping out her basement window. Yo mama is so fat when she bends over we eneter daylight savings time. Yo mama is so fat she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck. Yo mama is so fat shes once, twice, three times the lady. Yo mama is so fat she uses a matress for a maxipad. Yo mama is so poor burgulars break into her house and leave money. Yo mama is so poor the building society repossed her cardboard box. Yo mama is so poor she watches t.v. on an Etch-A-Sketch.Yo mama is so poor she goes to KFC to lick other peoples fingers. Yo mama is so poor she had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box. Yo mama has got a major weight problem, she cant wait to eat. Yo mama is a carpenters dream flat as a board and easy to nail. Yo mamas feet are so skanky that when your family wants jam pieces, she gets yo brother to run a loaf of bread between her toes. Yo mama is like a televison, even a 2 year old can turn her on. Yo mama is so clumsy she got tangled up in a moblie phone. Yo mama is so nice, she offered me the hair off her back. Yo mama is like a golf course, everyone gets a hole in one. Yo mama is so ugly, she is so good at her job, being a scarecrow. Yo mama is like a 747, 3 man **** pit. Yo mama is like a hardware store. 10 cents per screw. Yo mama is like a a shotgun, first she cocks then she blows. Yo mama is like a door knob cause everybody gets a turn. Yo mama is like a stamp, youlick her, you stick her and then you send her away. Yo mama is like McDonalds, Billions and Billions served. Yo mama is like a railroad track, she gets laidall over the country. Yo mama is like the Pillsbury Dough boy, everyone likes to poke her. Yo mama is like Peanut Butter so creamy and smooth and easy to spread. Yo mama is so smelly, when she spread her legs, I got seasick. Yo mama is so smelly that farmers use her bath water as liquid fertilizer. Yo mama is so dirty that Saddam Hussain tried to import her bath water to make chemical weapons. Yo mama is so greasy Texaco buys oil from her. Yo mama is so greasy she uses bacon as a band aid. Yo mama is like a pirate, there she blows. Yo mama is so stupid she took aruler to bed to see how long she slept. Yo mama is so stupid, on a job appliction is said sex and she put monday, wednesday and sometimes frida. Yo mama is so old that instead of saying are we there yet from the back seat, you say is she dead yet. Yo mama is so hairy that when you were born you almost died from rugburn. Yo mama is so stupid she got locked in a bathroom and almosted peed her pants. Yo mama is so big, she trips over walmart and lands on target and every time she passes by the T.V. I miss a season of friends. Yo mama is so fat that she stepped on a airplane it became a submarine. Yo mamas teeth are so yellow that cars slow down when she smiles. Yo mama is like a fast food restaurant, Quick and easy. Yo mama is like a shot gun 5 cocks and she is loaded. Yo mama is like nascar two rubbers and she is ready to ride. Yo mama is so dumb, she brought a spoon to the super bowl. Yo mama is so bald, Mr. Clean got jealous. Yo mama is so fat the last time she saw 90210 it was on the scale. Yo mama is so fat that she shoved a battery up her *** and said, I've got the power. Yo mama is like a screen door, a couple of bangs and she loosens up. Yo mama is like a snickers bar, packed full of nuts. Yo mama is like a race car driver, she burns up a lot of rubbers. Yo mama is so fat and stupid, her waste is bigger than her IQ. Yo mama is such a *****, she interned for Clinton.

Answer 2

YO MAMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE FELL DOWN I HELD BACK FROM LAUGHING BUT THE SIDEWALK COULDINT STOP CRACKING UP!!!

yo mamma is dumb that when they told her it was chilly outside, she ran out with a bowl.

Your Mamma said to tell you not to be asking for those stupid Yo Momma jokes.

She says it makes you look and sound stupid when you tell them.

Says it makes you sound like ignorant, White trash.

yo momma so dumb she tried to by a vowel at K-Mart.
yo momma so stinky she uses Right Guard and Left Guard
yo momma so black when she go to night school she absent
mother is so hairy that she got afors on her nipples

Answer 3

Yo momma's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo momma's so dumb she was on the corner with a sign that said Will eat for food.

Yo momma's so dumb when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home she moved.

Yo momma's so smelly that when you was being born the doctors and nurses all had to wear oxygen masks.

Yo momma's so dumb when she locked her keys in the car it took her all day to get yo family out.

Yo momma's so dumb she thinks her twin lives in her mirror.

Yo momma's so ugly just after she was born her momma said What a treasure and her father said Yes lets go bury it.

Yo momma's so poor her baloney ain't got no first name.

Yo momma's so dumb she put on a coat to chew winterfresh gum.

Yo momma's so ugly they put her face on a milk carton and it spoiled.

Yo momma's so dirty a family of mice inhabit her belly button.

Yo momma's so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.

Yo momma's so dumb she thought Taco Bell was a phone company in Mexico.

Yo momma's so dumb she asked what time is the 12:00 lunch.

Yo momma's so ugly that when she cries the tears run down the back of her head because they're afraid of her face.

Yo momma's so poor she tried to use food stamps in soda machines.

Yo momma's so dumb she got locked out of a convertible car with the top down.

Yo momma's so dumb she got shot running for the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial.

Yo momma's so skinny you can save her from drowning by tossing her a Cheerio.

Yo momma's so dirty you can tell her age by the rings underneath her armpits.

Yo momma's so dumb she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project..

Yo momma's so dumb she died before the police arrived because she couldn't find the 11 button in 911.

Yo momma's so dumb she went on Double Dare and when they asked her name she said I think Ill take the physical challenge.

Yo momma's so dumb she brought a cup to the movie Juice.

Yo momma's so dumb that she uses whiteout as her toothpaste.



Yo momma's breath so bad she made a tic tac run away.

Yo momma's so dumb she saw a billboard that said Dodge Trucks and she started ducking through traffic.

Yo momma's so dumb she thought Chingy was what you say when you don't got no more money.

Yo momma's so dumb when she got pregnant with you she asked the doctor "are you sure its mine" ?

Yo momma's so dumb she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.

Yo momma's so dumb if she spoke her mind she'd be speechless.

Yo momma's teeth are so rotten when she smiles they look like dice.

Yo momma's so dumb she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds.

Yo momma's so dumb when you were born she looked at your umbilical cord and said Wow it comes with cable too.

Yo momma's so dumb she put her watch in the bank to save time.

Yo momma's so dumb she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.

You need to get off my mama because I just got off of yours.

Answer 4

yo momma so dumb she tried to by a vowel at K-Mart.
yo momma so stinky she uses Right Guard and Left Guard
yo momma so black when she go to night school she absent

Answer 5

Your Mamma said to tell you not to be asking for those stupid Yo Momma jokes.

She says it makes you look and sound stupid when you tell them.

Says it makes you sound like ignorant, White trash.

Answer 6

yo momma so fat that you can follow her footprints in the sidewalk.

yo momma so fat that when she hauls as s she has to make 2 trips.

And for the geeks: yo mamma so fat that she dont have a gynecologist, she gots a speleologist

Answer 7

Yo mama is so stupid she went to Taco Bell trying to buy a chihuahua.

Yo mama is so fat when she bent over you could see Uranus.

Yo mama is so stupid that on your birthday she went to McDonalds trying to rent a clown.

Answer 8

Yo momma so fat, when she walks out and wears red, people shout out, "Hey, Kool-Aid!"

Answer 9

Yo momma so fat her belt size is Equator!!!

Answer 10

Your mama is so short the doctor's couldn't agree on whether she had a sore throat or hemorrhoids.

Answer 11

yo momma is so nasty she got kicked out of red lobster for bringing her own crabs