My daughter pulled the" I can't sleep rountine for 4 days in a row" finally i flipped out. she is 8 years old. what can i do tonight to assure she stays in bed as i do not want to flip out on her again?? She just recently started doing this, she was switched to her new room but she knew for over 4 months , it was going to happen.I can not take another night of her pulling the i cant sleep rountine saying one night she has a stomache, the next, her fan makes too much noise(it does not)...i have an infant son and once they both go to bed, it is my time to just chill out...
2006-07-27 04:22:02 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Even though your daughter's 8 and knew about the change, she's probably still feeling scared/excited/anxious about being in a new environment. She may not even know WHY she can't sleep, which is why she's coming up with all the excuses.
Maybe tonight, at least an hour before bedtime, you can sit down with her and just talk about it. Ask her if she's excited about being in her new room... I'm willing to bet she'll say yes. From there, you can have a relatively intelligent/mature talk with her: "Wow, I bet that's why you're having such a hard time falling asleep, huh? I'd have a hard time sleeping too, if I were that excited..."
If she brings up issues of fear or anxiety, it's a perfect time for the two of you to come up with a solution to deal with those fears (like a nightlight, a teddy bear friend to keep her company, etc.).
From there, set up guidelines/rules for her so that BOTH of you know where you stand as far as bedtime goes: Teeth get brushed, you go to the bathroom, tell mom if you have a stomach ache or a headache... and then, once you are in bed, that's it. You don't get up. You can lay in bed and read a book. You can lay in bed and play with your dollies or with your teddies, but you must stay in bed. Use a reward system to enforce things... which can go either way: you can either threaten to take away priviledges OR you can offer special rewards for her obedience. Maybe you can offer to make her her favorite breakfast in the morning if she cooperates in the evening....?
Anyway, I used this with a girl I was a nanny for (she was seven)... and it worked for me. I know all kids/parents are different, though, so hopefully you can streamline it to meet your needs so that it works well for the two of you.
Good luck!
2006-07-27 04:26:12 · answer #1 · answered by A Designer 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this is really a problem with your daughter as much as it is your problem. I guess that cruise didn't take away all your problems after all.
Look, I know that was mean, but the truth of the matter is more and more you are irratable and irrational when it comes to you children. The first 20 questions you have asked on here were about your "unbearable" 6 month old. Now you are complaining about your 8 year old. I think the problem is you. I not trying to be mean about this, I am trully concerned. There is a rage disorder that starts from a chemical imbalance in some women after they give birth. When it is untreated it gets progressively worse. you will find that more and more things bother you. For example, you started off coming on here and complaining about your infant. You disguised your complaints by asking questions that come off as harsh or irrational to the reader. After that you alternated your complaints between your boyfriend and your infant. Then you went on your cruise and came back on here and complained that it sucked. Now you are complaining about your daughter. Do you see a pattern? I'd don't know if you are just ALWAYS an unhappy person or if this is new. If it is new, then I suggest you get help for your sake.
2006-07-28 09:14:28 · answer #2 · answered by Just me.... 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know just how you are feeling ,but your little girl must be feeling very insecure at the moment what with a new baby on the scene and loosing her grandma suddenly ,these things trouble kids at night so make bedtime funtime,let her even play in her room as long as she is quite and stays in there and doesnt bother you,try bribing her with stickers and when the week is up if her stickers are all there then she can have a treat.How about her going to bed and listening to a book on tape,
2006-07-27 04:32:33 · answer #3 · answered by dumplingmuffin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off, why did she have to get a new room? If she and the baby were close to your bedroom, moving just her might make her feel like you care more for the baby than her. Show her that you still love her too- take some time to tuck her in her bed and cuddle her until she falls asleep- soon she won't want you up in her room every night rocking her to sleep.
2006-07-27 04:30:27 · answer #4 · answered by BB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your pediatrician, he may want to see her and check her out. If he don't or says everythings fine simply make her go back in bed. If she refuses then start taking things she likes away from her until the behavior stops. Regardless of a new baby or not, she needs to follow your say. Could it be an attention getting thing? If so, correct as soon as you can or you'll have a longer time correcting it later.
I made it clear to my daughter that I tuck her in once. Any other time she gets out of bed, she is on her own to go back to bed and she is in her bed at bedtime with lights out.
2006-07-27 09:43:21 · answer #5 · answered by Carp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got my son worry dolls when he got his new room.
They are not just for worrys, you tell them your secrets, put them back in their bag and under your pillow, by morning, no more worries & the kids sleep in their beds.
My son is now almost 9, but when kids have to make changes, it's hard for them to revert to the way they were before. He went through the I can't sleep phase about 2 years ago, it's pretty much a dead issue in my house unless there is a storm or something.
Be patient, maybe she thinks you are spending too much time with the baby & she jealous?>??
2006-07-27 05:08:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax a little, if your just starting her out on a new thing it takes time for her to get use to it. If you just throw her in there and she's scared she's not going to sleep. Try to let her get comfortable first try to put you baby to sleep first then spend a little more time with her getting her happy before she goes to bed. Read her a book or put a cd on or a movie or sing a song or have dad do it. It's going to take a short while for her to get use to the new routine. Let her fall asleep first bfore you do your thing.
2006-07-27 04:32:38 · answer #7 · answered by manda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is her root issue? Try to revisit this recurring issue through her eyes. When you determine the level and cause of her insecurity, then you will be in a position to make her more comfy and able to rest easily.
There is likely some anxiety about the new room, but it may also include other worries.
2006-07-27 04:26:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yah, she is insecure. Give her time. Try to stay cool, she might be just pulling your chain.
My cat does the same thing to me. He wakes me up three or four times a night, to be petted. Once he is reassured that he is loved. He gets off the bed and into his own.
2006-07-27 04:34:56 · answer #9 · answered by rb_cubed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her time to adjust. If she is truly scared of her room or of being in it do you want to make her stay in there frightened?
Let her sleep in her bed a few nights after she gives her a room a try. Try falling asleep with her in her room....Tell her that "Mommy, is going to stay with you sweety until you fall asleep, I will be right back if you wake up scared"
2006-07-27 04:33:57 · answer #10 · answered by tigreria 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋