I feel like drinking or suicide and people are telling me to join the church. I don't feel welcome there?

Question

I'm a struggling recovering alcoholic that's overwhelmed by a broken heart, never ending lonliness, huge money problems and some health problems.

I've been feeling TERRIBLE lately, especially because I'm just so lonely have no one to talk to. (People who offer to 'be my friend' online are a joke btw) .

I think about drinking and suicide constantly. In 3 years I have not made a single friend in AA (or outside AA). My girlfriend left me a year ago and I'm sure alot of people don't like me because of what she told them.

I have given myself until Saturday night for someone to come into my life. I'm going to go to AA meeting as usual, but if I leave alone from the Saturday meeting again, I plan to go home and hang myself.

People always are saying 'join the church'. I've been to church a bunch of times, not a soul there talked to me

Answer 1

You need to find another church. Churches are like people. Some are open and friendly and accepting. Others are not. Don't judge all by your experience with one.

Answer 2

I wouldn't go to a church unless it were a Quaker meeting house or Unitarian, unless I had to go for someone' funeral, wedding, a jazz concert or something like that.
Listen, I applaud you for getting the alcohol problem under control. My husband also had a big problem and has been alcohol free for more than 2 years. It's so devastating and it almost broke up our marriage.
It doesn't surprise me that you have not found anyone at your meeting you could relate to or date. Can you find another option, not the Church? How does it work there at your AA? Do you have a buddy system, where you are paired with a "sponsor" who is an experienced recovering alcoholic? If so you should get in touch with that person right away.
Why do you give yourself only "until Saturday"? How can you be so mean to yourself? Give it a lot more time and take it slow. I think you should probably go to a psychiatrist or at least your doctor for depression now. See if you can find some help, without taking drugs for it.
I hope you can work through this. Do you have a dog or a cat? They need you!

Answer 3

Dude, I do not know if you are for real or not. But if you are, you need to reach out to someone, someone who is standing in front of you, not online.

The next time you go to a meeting, stand up and tell them what you have been going through. THe point of AA is to share and give and recieve support. Going to a meeting every week, ar everyday, and sitting in the back isn't doing you very much good. Do you have a sponcer? You should have one, and you should call him.

As to church. I do not know what sort of church that you have been going too, but many love having new people come, but try not to crowd them the first few times they come, so that could be why no one greeted you. I have found that methodist churches are very open and welcoming, and the Catholic church is great if you feel like you need to talk to a clergy person. Just go in when the preist is taking conffession. Tell him what is going on, he may know of some other resources or how to guid you through the things you are dealing with.

I will pray for you, I truely hope that you will find your way through this dark time.

Answer 4

You sound very depressed, I imagine right now there isn't a place you feel comfortable or one you feel you belong you probly feel isolated and withdrawn. That is the illness not the places. Have you talked to a person face to face about these feelings? Have you made eye contact or started a conversation just think if you have all these feelings how does your face look angry? withdrawn and unfriendly? A church or AA meeting can help you but at this point it sounds like you need intensive treatment, go to an ER and talk to someone, right now everything looks dark and the pain is overwhelming but IT CAN GET BETTER! You have to ask for help though it's your choice no one can read your mind at the meeting or the church....that takes more guts than the noose
when you are sick you go to the doctor right? Depression is an illness that needs treatment but only you can make the choice to get better

Answer 5

Bill, for starters, I read where someone told you to get in touch with old friends, bad idea. That is probably what got you started drinking in the first place. I know it is hard to go to a church and find instant friends, you have to go a few times and then you will notice more and more people seeking you out. Get suicide out of your mind, that is not the answer, I know first hand. God does not give us anymore than we can handle. Also think about the pain you will cause your family and friends. Get back into AA, if people don't come up to you at first then go to them. I also know that that is a hard thing to do, but, you must. Pray, pray, pray. God has not forgotten you, He is there with you at all times. Even though you might not want Him to be, He is. You also must want to go to church and seek out the Word and to seek out people. It is all good at church no matter what anyone else says. Just keep going forward and don't look back. I know your heart is in pain loosing someone you love, but it has been a year now and it is time to move on. Search your soul and remember all the good things that has happened in you life, don't dwell on the negative. Get a Possitive, Mental Attitude going and let Jesus Christ into your life.

Answer 6

Listen up Bill, when people say to join a church, what they are really saying is " Find yourself a group of people who will emotionally support you". Frankly, church doesn't do it for me either, so I find support and friendship in other ways. Go to family functions, reconnect with your family. Call up an old friend, be honest tell them you are having a shitty week and need some help. Go volunteer at a homeless shelter, you will be getting out and helping someone else at the same time. Suicide happens when the pain outweighs the resources available to help. Trust me Bill, it will help nothing to off yourself. You will simply be gone. Your threat of Saturday night is basically saying that the responsibility to save you is up to the AA members. That's bullshit Bill. It's up to you. I am sending good thoughts and prayers your way. Chin up.

Answer 7

You could maybe go see your doctor Bill., they could put you intouch with someone who you can talk to, and talking can help alot. Why the need to leave with someone from AA?., surely you need someone abit more stable in your life right now, not that I'm saying people at AA are unstable, if you know what I mean.
You could maybe even get yourself a pet, take your mind of some of your worries abit.

Church I don't think is the place for you right now, religion can be confusing at the best of times never mind the worst.

Regards
Weemags34 hope things get better for you.

Answer 8

You never know what great things the future might hold for you. Don't give up on life because you've had a rough time lately. ANd btw try church one last time. After Mass the priests are usually available to talk with. Open up to one of them. I'm not saying that you should dedicate your life to religion but the priest will at least here your troubles. Try joining a club of some variety or sign up for volunteer work. you'll be sure to meet some friends there.

Answer 9

The church thing might be important for one reason more than making friends or becoming religious. That reason is that alcohol is a hard thing to control. Since you became an alcoholic the alcohol has proven to be stronger than your will against it. You need something even a mythology to be stronger than it. Church can provide that personal belief and hope that something stronger than all of us can help you maintain yourself and finally live and be happy. Go to a church not to see what it gives you but rather to get what you need from it, you might find the hope you are looking for. If you find that, then people will gravitate to being your friends. The world works very strange. It seems to shy away from people that are in need and desperate but helps those who are trying and are at a certain level of "normal" state. This is a fault of human beings.

You need to believe in something stronger than yourself. You need something higher and greater than people to give you hope. You are crying out for help which means you do have some hope in you. You just need a map of where to go and what to do. The first thing is you need to get healthy. Right now your emotions are governing your intellect. When anyone is in a state where emotions are in control, they should not be making any serious decisions till they get healthy.

Understand that if life is terrible right now it is ok to feel terrible. You are just expressing emotion. Don't base life decisions on that. Just feel it and let yourself be emotional. Then think about what you can do to feel better. I know you are disenchanted with online friends but you can always write me. I will be glad to email you. You are never alone in this world as you might feel. You just haven't met the right people to help you.

Please take care of yourself. We all have a place in this world. We are all another piece to a puzzle.

Answer 10

I don't think joining the church is a very good idea. People go to the church with their own selfish motive - they go there to show off to themselves and the world that they are closer to God. Forget them, they are no good.
But here is what you can do:

Julius Caesar said divide and win - break up your problems into smaller parts and then prioritise what is the 1st thing you need to solve and the next and then the next and so on.

for alcholism go to some govt run rehabilitation centre or some renouned NGO. without any expense they will help overcome this problem.

Once the problem of alcholism is solved you will soon realise that people are socialising with you again.

Remember you need to get so strong both mentally and physically wherein you no more need world but the world would need you.

Answer 11

I agree with the previous poster ... you just haven't found the right church yet. Our church has a specific ministry for people in situations like yourse, and I know that many other churches do too.

I've never been to an AA meeting, but didn't they give you a sponsor who you could call at times like this?