Is my punishment fair?

Question

Im a 13 yo girl. Im good girl, my grades atre great, but sometimes I mess up. Sometimes I rebel against my parents especially my mom. She forces me to wear bras acording to m y breasts and I dont like them. I wanna wear other bras but mom is stubborn. We had several arguments over this I got grounded a few times. yesterday I really lost my temper and messed up. I got a pair of scissors and in front my mom cut up 3 of the bras she gave me, destroyed them completely. I know this was tupid. I apologized but my mom got REALLY mad at me. Punishment: She took me to a lingerie store and got me 2 of those bras called long line that covers all of your torso and have 10 hooks in the back. She also got me a shapeawer that covers all of your body; All of them made of very thich material. I'll have to wear them till December, EVRYDAY and they are kinda uncomfortable, MUCH worse than my other bras. I gotta wear all the time, except in bed. Dont you agree this punishment is too harsh and unfair?

Answer 1

Yes, it is unfair. But, then, you were unfair to your mother. Maybe the bras you cut up, were what she could afford. I think she should have bought you the same bras, but, she could have arranged to make an agreement with you. Like, maybe wear those bras for a while, then, you could earn some money to buy the bra you wanted. I hope she can see the errors of her ways, and also, that you can be a little more compliant to her wishes.
Good Luck

Luv,
Cin

Answer 2

I was about your age when I started wearing bras and I hated them too! I didn't want breasts (I was very much a tomboy) and they were another indication that I was different from the boys in the neighborhood. Like it or not, my body was changing and I needed to wear something under my shirts. I cried the first time my mother brought me bra shopping! She ended up giving me the option of wearing a bra or a tanktop- as long as I had something on.

I don't agree with the approach your mother took with you. She's making bra-wearing into more of a punishment than it already is. I know it's hard not to get upset with your parents sometimes, but try approaching your mom without being upset or angry and explain to her that the bras she bought you are uncomfortable and hurt to wear them. Like it or not, you're now going to have to wear a bra for the rest of your life, so suggest that you go shopping together and pick out stuff that fit you and that you're comfortable wearing.

Make sure you try on several different brands and sizes. Not all fit the same. Can you believe that most women wear the wrong size bra!! It should fit comfortable around your torso just below your breasts. This is the band size- usually measured in inches (32,34,36, 38, etc) It should not be too loose or so tight that it squeezes your skin in. The cup, sized by letter (AA, A, B, C, D, DD, etc) should fit smoothly over the breast without cutting into your skin. Find colors and patterns that you like that way you'll be more likely to wear them.

Answer 3

Whether it's harsh or unfair is kinda irrelevant. It's what *is*. Since she's in charge, you're stuck with it. (At your age, I'd have brought a different one to school and changed, but if she caught you, she might make you wear a metal one next!)

Personally, I can't see why your mother would care what kind of bra you wore, as long as it doesn't show. The punishment is clearly not about the money that you wasted by cutting them up, because long-line bras are WAY more expensive than regular ones.

So yeah, I'd say that your mom is being unreasonable. You did act like a brat, but forcing you to be uncomfortable, and worse, to be very different from your girlfriends, probably won't help you be more agreeable. On the other hand, I bet you'll be a lot more careful about getting in her face.

At any rate, while it may seem like forever, you'll be an adult in only 5 years, and then you can go braless in a see-through shirt if you want to! In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if that's what you wear to her birthday party!

Answer 4

OK. First of all, do you understand why your mother wanted you to wear the ones she chose over the ones you chose? Secondly, do you think your mom does what she is doing for you or because she gets some kind of sick pleasure from tormenting you?

Now. Since I got that out, I'll give you my long answer. I think it may be to harsh, BUT it doesn't fall into the realm of abuse, IMHO. Maybe you should deal with it for a week or so and then TALK to your mother about it. I know you think you are mature, but arguing with your mom and cutting things up are not signs of maturity. Think about why she does what she does and respect the fact that she is the adult. This will get YOU more respect and to be treated more the way you want to be treated.
Saying "I want because I want" won't get anywhere, plead your case in a calm way and if you don't get your way, find out why and see if there is value in your mom's decision. Either way, you need to accept her choice.
I say this as the father of a 13 (soon to be 14) year old who tries to act like she's 23.
I hope this helps. I know it's hard at your age, but imagine how it is for your mom.

Answer 5

You don't say why you don't like the bras your mom wants you to wear vs the ones you prefer. Could it be that what you want is not appropriate for your age? Too many girls these days look like little ho's with the push ups and thongs. It's disgusting. Maybe your mom just had enough with your choices and is teaching you a lesson. Best to take a look at your choices and see if they were inappropriate. Her "sentence" till December is harsh, but to destroy 3 bras, considering they are not free, is harsh too. Be good, don't mess up and maybe she will reconsider.

Answer 6

I think this punishment its not the right way to punish you because if I was you, after the punishment was over I would get more anger against my mother.

I think your mom made a harsh decision, this might haven because of your attitude with the bras. Try to talk to your mom about the situation, tell her that you would do something else other than wearing a bra.

Tell her this is a really embarrassing situation for you and that you can take other punishment, but not this one she gave you.

Good luck my friend :)

Answer 7

I think it is a little harsh, I mean, you are 13, and 13 year olds do have a tendency to lose their temper quite often. But I just think over time she may give in and realize that what she did is wrong.. but I don't know your mother well enough to really make that assumption.

Usually when I do something to really tick my mom off she will yell and punish me, but over a week or two she realizes she was too harsh and lightens up.

I hope you don't have to wear those evil things up onto December.

Answer 8

She overreacted. If you are a good actress, you can get out of this in a few days. You need to obey the punishment, and not complain for 3 days. Burst into tears whenever you see your mother and you are wearing the "punishment". Run to your room sobbing. Come out after a few minutes, and stay quiet, with a few sniffles. Never ever say that you dont deserve the punishment, and tell her you understand that you deserve to be miserable for what you did. I guarantee you she will relent before the weekend is over.

Answer 9

No, sorry, but you cant act that way. My step daughter is kinda like you. She acts out to get what she wants. You are just a teenager so it is only normal to do those things. But I know what you are saying about the bra thing. If you wouldn't have cut those bras up, you wouldn't be in trouble. But your mom just doesn't want you to have saggy cone ****. (sorry but true). You should have just asked her to take you to the store of your choice and get something that would be in your taste and comfort. Next time when you and your mom have a disagreement, compromise. She is an adult, and needs to understand where you are coming from. BUT, just remember you get more with sugar!

Answer 10

Its not about being unfair, you pushed your mom too far by cutting up the bras and arguing with her. At 13 your mom is still in charge of what you do and how you do it. She is just teaching you a lesson, the more you fight it the worse it will be. If you just kind of go with the flow for awhile and not argue with her about it, she will loosen up. The more fight you put up the worse parents react. It is the one lesson in life that all kids have to learn. Parents arent hard to figure out, you just have to learn how to approach her and obviously arguing and scissors arent working. Good luck.

Answer 11

Yeah, that's messed up...It's hard enough getting into the "bra" wearing phase. Your mom should be more understanding & let you choose your own bras (unless you are looking at push-up bras) 13 is too young of an age to wear those! Good luck with that!