I'm having problems with my mom help?

Question

You see my mom has always been very negative towards me since I got into junior high school it only got worse in high school. She even waited until the day of my high school graduation to say that she wasn't going to go to my garaduation and smiled about it. To this very day we don't get along and I just wish she would just tell me why she's acting this way. On top of all that I get nothing but let downs and insults fom her. When I was younger she told me she hated me ans spit me in my face and said that I was nothing like her. I always thought that being your own person was a good thing right? Oh I am heavy right now but I'm working on it and I come to find out that she was going around saying that I was as big as a house and that I was disgusting. . All she ever does is hurt me with insults and now that she thinner than me she purposely flaunts it in front of me just to rub it in my face that she looks better than me. If I confront her with all this she'll that I direspected her.

What is one to do if your mom refuses to change her ways after so many years of treating me like ****. Im' fed up personally I'm an adult woman dealing with a mother who acts like she's to good for her own daughter. A confrontation would just be disaterous because to her I ams stepping out of line she'll use that as a means to come at me physically. Then I'll become the villain and sh'e the victim that's what she always does when ot comes to me. Because of her I'm the blacksheep of the family. She made me out thobe the devil child when inall realtiy she's the evil. Being locked in your room for any reason just so she could spend time with my stepdad ws her goal. He argued with her when she was wrong bout her actions but I suffered the consequences. Every time he defended me she added on another punishment. In other words how dare he defend me to her. This has affected my life in so many ways that it have a hard time copimg with being a mom myself.

I do live no my own with my kids and fiance but her behavior hasn't changed much. I stay away from her as much as I can and I still try to be a good daughter but that's it.

Answer 1

Honey, I feel so sorry for you as all children deserve love and respect from their parents and to be treated like you have been is emotional abuse and you deserve much better.

I have to agree with the other two answerers above, you need to get out of that toxic situation as soon as you can. Depending on where you live, there are women's support groups, lead by a moderator, that are free to attend where women and girls who are in abusive situations or have a lot of problems can go to talk with others in the same sorts of situations.

The problem is not you, the problem is your mother and it sounds like she has unresolved issues from when she was a teen and those tend to reappear when a same-sex child reaches the same age. My guess is also that your father is absent and your mother may be looking for a boyfriend as sees you as a threat, like competition, and she wants to keep you down because she is afraid if she does meet someone that you will steal them away. It is not right and she needs counseling, but you cannot make her go, all you can do is take care of yourself.

I had the same sorts of problems with my Mom growning up, especially when she drank, and it was not until I got out of the situation and been on my own for a long time that I could see how messed up the whole situation was and how messed up she was. I know you love her and I am sure she loves you in her own way, it is just she is too wrapped up in her own self-esteem issues and problems to see how much she is really hurting you.

Good luck!

Answer 2

If i replaced into you i ought to attempt to get her interest some cases, if this does no longer artwork purely arise and say 'i will purely pass search for suggestion from a pal then, because you're for sure too busy which includes your own existence to help your daughter which includes her insignificant little issues. Have a staggering day, expensive mom.' then walk away. If she would not come once then you definitely walk in 5 minutes later and tell her about how powerful your pal replaced into, and how you needed she ought to were that powerful. If she nevertheless would not do something, i ought to turn her pc off or close the lid or something cos if she nevertheless did not reply i must be pretty annoyed by then.

Answer 3

How old are you? Move out as soon as you can and make it on your own if you are old neough. Having to live with constant negative critism will eventually take it's toll on you if it hasn't already. I'm sorry she treats you like that, but chances are, there's nothing you can do about it. If you bring it up to her she is just going to fight you on it and it will make things worse. Just stick it out until you can get out. You don't have to cut off all contact, but you will be able to control the amount of time that she is around you. You will have a place to leave and go to when she starts acting like that. Don't let her words or actions lessen the way you feel about yourself. You just have to remember how you feel right now for later on. You know how not to treat and talk to your kids whne that time comes.

Answer 4

Now you said this was your little kid sister right! No really she is acting really childish and you need to get as far away from her as you can. I don't understand why some people have kids if they are just going to treat them like sh**, when there are wonderful people out there who can not have children. I'm sorry she does that to you and you don't deserve it but she's not a mother and has no right for your respect. Just get away from her and cut your losses and maybe one day when she don't have you around to dump on she might wake up and realize just how wrong she was, and when you have children just give them all the love that you wished you had. Children are truly a blessing.

Answer 5

I think honey that you might just have to go your separate ways. Someone who would intentionally hurt you has no right to be in your life regardless of who they are. Pray for her and maybe someday she can change but a mother should be loving and supportive. I cannot imagine ever hurting my daughter like that.

First you need to take control of your life. Did you go to college? If not you can still get a good job, be it not a skill labor job but there are plenty production jobs out there that pay well. Concentrate on what makes you happy and get involved in a church young adult group. There is so much support in this type of program.

I am praying for you.

Answer 6

It's really quite appalling that a mother can treat their own flesh and blood like that! I don't think anyone should be treated like that - regardless if you are thin or heavy, short or tall.

Is there something that happened that caused a rift between you and your mother? Maybe you just need to sit her down and ask her why she has such hatred/disgust for you.

And, if all else fails, I'd turn to friends to get the support that your mother should be giving you. Sometimes our friends are our family and that's fine...

Answer 7

your mother has serious problems ,there is not much that can be said on here,but do not let your mothers problems be your problem, you should look into moving out ,the mental abuse your mother doing is also illegal,you could charge her,you seriously need to move ,or if you have a pastor or counsellor at school ,or government help hot line,someone to mediate the between the both of you,but you have to do it now you mother has lost her reason,senses,your self esteme and future relation depends on you to seek help now now

Answer 8

whats you age?

i guess you should once chat with your mom and tell her how you feel about all that is going on and if you are old enough you should move out asap!!