So a guy walks into a bar...?

Question

So a guy walks into a bar... Ah shoot, I forget the rest, can some one finish this for me.

Answer 1

A guy walks into a bar...

with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons.

"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."

The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.

After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottled and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals - unscathed as promised.

The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer.

"I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try".

A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A woman timidly spoke up.

"I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle".

Answer 2

A kangaroo hops into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender hands him the drink and charges 15 dollars. The bartender turns to the kangaroo and says, " Say we don't get many kangaroos in here." The kangaroo replies, " Well at these prices, it's no wonder!" A man buys everyone in the bar a drink. When he tells the bartender he hasn't any money, he is thrown out onto the pavement. As he picks himself up, he yells back at the bartender, " That is the last time I buy you a beer. You get mean when you drink!"

Answer 3

So a guy walks into a bar....
A guy sits alone at a bar, drinking his beer. From out of nowhere, he hears a voice say, "You look great, man! Have you lost weight?" He looks around, and confirms that the only other person in the bar is the bartender, who is all the way at the other end of the bar. He shrugs it off, and takes another drink of his beer.

"That's a really nice suit. It looks good on you," the voice says again.

The guy looks around, and before he can say anything, the voice says, "You have very nice eyes."

The guy freaks out, and shouts, "Hey, bartender! Come here!"

As the bartender arrives, the voice speaks again. "That's a nice haircut!"

"Who keeps talking to me?!" The guy asks the bartender.

"Oh, that?" The bartender says, "It's the peanuts. They're complimentary."

Answer 4

So a guy walks into a bar and he says to the bartender, "Am I drunk already, or is that seriously Colin Powell and President Bush?" The bartender replies "No, you're not drunk. That's really Colin Powell and president Bush." So the guy walks over, has a few drinks with them and talks to them for a little while. Then he said "So Mr. President, what's your plan for this war?" Bush replies "Well son, we're gonna kill forty-million Iraqis, and one blond." A little confused, the guy says "Why are you gonna kill the blond?" Then Bush leans over to Colin Powell and whispers "See Colin? I told you no one would notice that we're gonna kill forty million Iraqis!"

Answer 5

He orders a drink, then he tells the bartender, that he could pee in a glass from 5 meters distance, he bets him USD 200, then, he pulls out his thing, and starts peeing everything, the bar, the floor even the bartender, after he finishes, the bartender was laughing and.......

Answer 6

So a guy walks into a bar...a Texas bar...and starts to watch the Dallas/Pittsburgh Game...he turns around and tells everyone that he is DIE HARD PITTSBURGH Fan....All the guys in the Texas bar are DIE HARD COWBOYS FANS..the Pittsburgh fan says Dallas will lose to his team.. .instead of shouting ..'GET A ROPE!" They pick the Pittsburgh fan guy and throw his butt out the window!!!

Answer 7

So a guy walks into a bar and sat down on a chair and order a beer.The bartender give him his beer,and the guy said shooot i forgot my wallet.
So can i wash the dishes to pay for my beer?
The bartender got mad and kick that guy b....out of the place.

Answer 8

...and he's totally blind, but finds his way to a bar stool. After a few minutes he yells out, "Anybody want to hear a blond joke"?

After a moment's silence, a woman to his right says, "Sir, I see that you are blind, so let me explain something. I am blond, and a championship wrestler. The person to your right is blond woman who is the state karate champion. The bartender is a blond woman who is an ex-police officer. Now, do you still think you want to tell that joke?".

After a few seconds, the blind man mumbles, "Nah, I don't want to have to say it over three times".

Answer 9

and he takes this little tiny flea out of his pocket. He has spent half his life TRAINING this flea to do tricks and now he is celebrating with a drink, and the flea will have it's debut in this bar.
The bartender brings the guy his drink and the guy says, "You see this flea?"
The bartender smashes the flea with his fist and kills it, and says , "Yeah, we've had a lot of those around here, lately!"

Answer 10

So a guy walks into a bar. The guy behind him ducks.