my partner doesnt understand how painful natural childbirth is?

Question

he completely dismisses the fact that my sister went through complete agony to birth my nephew and insists its all just a lot of shouting about nothing. sometimes i want to put a squeeze on his testicles until his eyes water, to simulate the contractions. is this how you'd make them understand?

Answer 1

your body, your choice.

Answer 2

Did you know that fear intensifies pain? Read books on birth to completely understand the birthing process, read books on relaxation during birth, etc. Understand that birth is a natural life experience, not a medical problem. You shouldn't be having a baby unless you are married! A good birthing coach is important and they need a birthing education too so they won't be afraid and effect your fear level. Know what's going on during each move of the birth, having a good doctor or midwife explain each process is very helpful to be more comfortable during birth. Admittedly when the fear is paramount without education the birthing process can be unbearable, but with proper instruction birth doesn't have to be a terror or horror. I advise you to give natural birth a chance. It is better for the mother and the especially the baby. You don't want a drugged up baby when it is born. After the birth you will be much more comfortable with a natural birth. Your recovery will be easier.

Answer 3

I don't want to offend anyone--I only want to be perfectly honest about this. People think I'm strange for comparing this, but I had my first child naturally, no time for pain meds of any kind...and it felt very much like severe diarreah cramps and passing a very large stool. (I actually thought that I was pooping, but they assured me otherwise)
The more I concentrated on relaxing during the contractions, the lesser the cramping--thank god for those classes--and I had my child in about 4 hours.
I have explained it just this way to 2 friends who were expecting, who both also had natural births, and afterwards they admitted I was right.
I would give him a cantaloupe and ask him to squeeze it out of his butt while suffering at the same time from severe diarreah. Obviously he couldn't, but maybe he'd get a more realistic idea of the childbirth process.
All that being said, he really doesn't deserve to know. It's a miraculous process that should not be disrespected with comments like his.

Answer 4

You are on the right track, that will make anyway man go to his knees and cry in pain and it's not for a short time, child birth is different for all ladys, the only thing in common is the pain of it all, and discomfort, but soon as it is over a wonderful surprise that washes away all pain and tears until those teenage years.

Answer 5

Would be a nice time for him to develop a kidney stone! I hope you're not planning on having kids with him! After all, he sounds pretty insensitive.

Best advice, have him watch a program on childbirth, TLC has a bunch. Even better, see if you can find a video of actual childbirth - wear it shows the baby actually coming out and how far women have to stretch to fit the baby through. a) he'll be grossed right out. b) he'll have a whole new respect for mothers.

Answer 6

He probably never will understand how painful it is because he will never have to go through it. Hell, he COULDN'T go through it, even if he had the "parts". Men have no tolerance for pain like that, which is probably why God decided women would have the babies.
Putting a vice grip on his testicles might give him an inkling of what the pain is really like. It could be worth it to try.

Answer 7

YEs i say hurt him really bad physically and then tell him that he shoudnt complain becuase its natural and its somethign that just happens and if he says something that will make u want to smack him, like this is not the same... then u turn around and say to him

God is the one that made pain to be natural so if you feel any all u have to do is stop shouting and yelling because the PAIN is a bunch of nothing

Answer 8

i have had 3 kids. he will never probably understand until he sees a women giving birth. then again why are some women in labor for 3 days and others pop a kid out in 10 min. with no problem? the ones that had no problem are looking at us for not understanding why we are in agony for 3 days. it just depends on the person.

Answer 9

Men won't ever understand but there's nothing wrong with that at all.. We don't understand how painful it is to get kicked in the balls..
just cause they don't understand child birth...its not their fault, why even discuss this or get upset about this...
And wanting to hurt their testicles just because they don't understand what its like to have a baby or period is just stupid, again, its not their faults they were born a male...
shouldn't you all be paying attention to the new baby instead of bickering about something as trivial as this...

What about people who go through worse pain..like having a breast removed due to cancer or a testicle removed due to cancer, please, get over yourselves...

Answer 10

honey nem will never understand.. It is not his decison or up to him. It is your body. and frankly it is ridiculus of him to disrespect your feelings on this. Ihad a 8lb baby three years ago. i had natural child birth with complete epidurel before they gave me the epidurel i weas in so much pain i thought i would die. why go through that if you don;t have to..your man is a typical male pig. tell him to get over it is your body!

Answer 11

I don't think that would even make them understand. If they were to feel the pain of childbirth they would die. Mena re wimps when it comes to being sick and what not, so childbirth they'd have a heart attack!