How can I get my 2 year old to be more respectful?

Question

He just turned 2 but he practically dominates me. I don't want him to be one of those kids who makes scenes and stuff when we go out places. I don't want to hit him either. What can I do?

Answer 1

LOL !! lots of work & persistance !!

I have an almost 3 yo & they're just like that.
Be patient but keep with your decisions

goo lluck

Answer 2

First off, he's two so its just natural that he will test his limits.

Moving along, you say you don't want to hit him but a little pat on the butt to get his attention and let him know that you see what he is doing will help a lot more than you think, some time more than a spanking.

There is always the, and excuse its name, "Threat" method. When you go anywhere, you take him aside at the car and explain to him what you don't want him to do and reinforce it with a little swat on the butt to give him a small taste of what could happen if he makes a scene inside. This method doesn't work as well unless the parents are willing to spank there kids, but I'm sure you'll find it in you to do it once in a while.

I know they might seem a little harsh for some but it is effective.

Answer 3

I always found the most important thing when going out is to let my child know what behavior was expected in that place. Not in a mean way, in an informational way. I would also say, "This is a place where people are working and thinking. We need to be quiet while we're in here."

Remember, at 2 your child is very young still and is still learning. Controlling emotions will be difficult for him and you might need to say, "Well, this is not a good time to be here, let's go" (and actually go!) when he melts down. No blame, no anger, just matter of fact. It always helped me to see my kids' behaviors as part of their developmental stage, kinda cool. I didn't take it personally. I have standards of behavior and firm ideas about how to treat others (respectfully) and with these clear ideas on where I wanted to get them, getting there has been easier, I think.

By treating my children with respect - really listening and making their needs count - my children learned to treat others with respect.

Never hit your child. Those who say there is a difference between hitting and spanking are lying to themselves and to you. Over and over, research shows that hitting/spanking/physical punishment lower IQ, are harmfull, do not work, drive behavior under ground, teach kids that people who love you can hurt you, etc etc etc.

Never yell at your child. Do not put your child in day care (because then you do not have the relationship you need with him to get his respect.) Read How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen So kids will Talk. I know this works because I've done it for 14 years and my kids are amazing, a joy.

Answer 4

1) Speak respectfully to your child. Model the behavior you expect from your child.

2) Don't respond to disrespectful talk/behavior. Ignore it, leave the room, or say "When you can use nice words, then I will talk to you." Follow through, stay calm, and don't be wishy washy.

3) Respond *immediately* when your child acts respectfully. If you always ignore your child when they ask nicely and only respond when they whine or scream, they learn rude behavior gets results and polite behavior doesn't pay. So logical but hard for harried parents to follow thru on sometimes! We've all struggled with it!

4) Before going out in public, make it clear you expect him to behave nicely. If he acts up once there, leave. Even if it means you don't get to eat or you leave a cart full of food you desperately need in the aisle of the store. You will probably only need to do something that dramatic once or twice before it's clear that you won't tolerate public displays of craziness.

5) Be calm & patient. The twos & threes can be very trying, but they don't last forever. Take it one day at a time and enjoy the good times with your little one. This is a time when they are starting to exert their independence but they don't have the ability to think logically yet. Sometimes you have to cut them a little slack because they aren't developmentally able to function the way you want... sometimes twos are physically incapable of answering any way but "NO!" so during those times you simply don't ask questions or offer choices. LOL! It can be maddening unless you remember to laugh at how ridiculous it all is sometimes. ;-)

Answer 5

You have to be consistent in your parenting. Kids learn respect and all aspects of life from you. I have a 3 year old and when he was 2 time out worked wonders. There were time when I swatted to get his attention on his diaper, but never for a "spanking". I hate to say it but one of the things that my son and I also do is watch Supernanny he see that the actions of those kids have consequences and his behavior has improved so much because he now hates "TIME OUT" to him that is worse then anything else that could happen.

Answer 6

He's 2 it is natural for him to make scenes and stuff when you take him places. If he acts up take him back home, get a babysitter and tell him that until he can show that he can behave in an acceptable manner he will not be allowed to go with you. But don't expect miracles...he's two he is going to dominate your time, he is going to misbehave. It comes with having children. They aren't dolls.

Answer 7

Give him the words he needs. If he asks for something rudely, tell him how to ask nicely and make him say it. Kids do what works and it looks like being dominant is working for him now.
Also, watch how you talk to people and how people on TV are talking. Kids pick up on disrespectfulness quickly. 2 year olds are feeling out their place in the family. It seems the entire year is spent balancing making them obedient and self-sufficient. Good luck!

Answer 8

When he does something undesirable, like hitting you or saying something rude, you get down on his level and tell him in his eyes "That is not okay. If you do that again, I will spank you." And then do it, every time. He has to know what to expect when he does something wrong.

Hitting and spanking are two different things, even though they feel the same to us. You should never spank in anger; this teaches the child that hitting is okay when you're mad. If he does something that he has already had his one warning about, you get on his level again and say "I told you that was not okay. Now I have to spank you because you did it anyway." After that give him time to calm down and tell him you love him. Never say you're sorry for the spanking. He will get it, learn respect, that he is not in charge, and he will love you for it when he is older, trust me.

Answer 9

talk to him and whenever he's being a bratt with you and don't allow it. Give him time outs and always tell him how sad it makes you when he behaves that way, if you keep letting him disrespecting you, he'll become one of those teenagers who tries to hit their mother. Also, sometimes it's ok when a kid makes a scene and public and doesn't get away with it.

Answer 10

You have to lay down the law and stick to it. 2 yr olds need consistant limits. They feel safer and more secure in an environment with these limits, even if they try to push them. That's just them testing your resolve. My 2 yr old (in June) can get pretty sassy but I firmly remind her that she will not talk to me that way. As far as scenes in public... you need to be prepared to walk out of a store, even if you're the next person in line at the checkout with a full-week's grocery shop in your cart. They need to absolutely understand that public outbursts will not be tolerated.

Answer 11

I have a paint stick with my sons name on it never had to use it just showing it does the trick for me. My 2 year old says yes/no ma'am please/thank you and of course the bless you and welcome. Children mimic what you do, they want to do things that you do because now they are at that stage where they want to please you. So if when the 2 of you are together and he says something correct him when he answers yes ma'am and thank you. It is almost like follow the leader you are the leader..... lead by example.