A friend of mine's wife recently got sentenced to 8 years in prison for embezzlement. They have twins, 4 years old, a boy and a girl, and he doesn't know how to tell them that mommy will be away for a long time. What should he say to his children?
2006-07-27 02:02:09 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
For kids that young, the best thing is to explain it by comparing the law to the rules they have to follow and that when a grown up breaks the rules, sometimes a judge gives them a REALLY BIG time out.
Please give this link to your friend
http://www.prisontalk.com
It is a support and information community where he can get input from thousands of others in exactly his position.
And he absolutely should take the girls to see their mom, I know a lot of people will say that no child should ever visit a jail or prison, but most of those people have never set foot on the grounds of a correctional facility and so they have no idea what visiting is like.
I visit regularly at a maximum security men's prison and I promise you, I am safer in the visiting room than I am in the parking lot of my grocery store (and I live in rural Montana... my grocery store is pretty darn safe)
2006-07-29 07:19:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since they are so young right now, I would just say mommy had to go away for a while but that she loves them and will be back as soon as she can. When they get a little older and start asking questions, then tell them the truth. Say that mommy did something wrong and she has to pay for her mistake, but she loves them and is always thinking of them...
2006-07-27 02:07:31 · answer #2 · answered by kiki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he should tell him a 4 year old version of the truth. "Mommy made a bad choice and is getting some help for it now. It's going to take a long time" When they get older, he can be more specific.
He needs to empathize with them a lot. "I know you miss mommy. I can tell you are really (sad, upset, angry, lonely)." this will help them to express their feelings. He also needs to make certain that they know their mom really loves them and misses them.
The children should be allowed to communicate with their mother as much as possible. They can write her letters, speak on the phone, and visit. Their mother should write her children often. Hope this helps.
2006-07-27 08:01:36 · answer #3 · answered by marnonyahoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should tell them that their mommy made a mistake and so she has to fix the problem and so she'll be gone for a long time, but that she'll be back and that they should be patient until she returns. He should of course tell the truth, then, but in simple terms that the children will understand. Then he should tell them that when she does return, they should give her the warmest "welcome back" they can give. A little love from one's children can go a long way in steering people back onto the right path.
2006-07-27 02:07:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that Mommy did a naughty thing and needs to be in time out for a long time. Take them to see their Mother and eventually they will understand as they age.
2006-07-27 02:06:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure there will be a lot of"sugar-coating" going on. I don't know. How sad. I hope the kids at school don't find out. Kids can be cruel, and now the poor child's mother has set them up for so much embarassment.( unless the mother is Martha Stewart)
2006-07-27 02:08:34 · answer #6 · answered by Scorpius59 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth
2006-07-27 02:05:37 · answer #7 · answered by chat_have 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first answer!! Your Gonna have to tell them the truth...If You where four you wouldn't wanna be lied to and find out later what really went one...I Know I wouldn't!
2006-07-27 03:57:16 · answer #8 · answered by Has31 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the truth that mommy did something very bad and when we break the law we have to go away .
2006-07-27 02:07:24 · answer #9 · answered by shellkate1244 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow a real shame but the truth is the best they will find out when there older anyway ,
2006-07-27 02:07:04 · answer #10 · answered by Linda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋