Me and my boyfriend has been dateing for 4 years and we have been through alot. We had 2 misscariges and now i am 31 weeks pregent. We talk about this like when we get married we are going to do this but he thinks that he has to have a ring to propose and i tols him that it is not the ring it is the proposle. and then he messed up and know we have fell back. Will he ever grow up and will he ever ask me? What should i do! Our relationship is not so good right know after he did this thing that messed up our relationship.
2006-07-27 01:34:37 · 15 answers · asked by cheridever 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
well you are thinking about it, so he probley is too! you never know when he'll pop the question!
Best Wishes!
2006-07-27 01:38:07 · answer #1 · answered by Lauren 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what you mean when you say that he messed up your relationship. Is the "thing" you talk about not proposing? I think that some people have this idea in their head about what a proposal is, and it's hard to let go of. Maybe he feels like he would be less of a man if he didn't have a ring for you.
I do believe that right now you should be putting yourself, your health and the baby first, especially since you have had problems with miscarriages before (and I am so sorry to hear that, I am praying for you that this one works out).
Maybe you should sit down with him. Ask him to explain to you why he hasn't proposed. Make sure he knows that you of course don't want to pressure him to do what he doesn't want to - because he might not realize it! And then make sure you understand where he is coming from. Once you both really get what the other is thinking about this, I think it will be easier to deal with from there. Good luck!
2006-07-27 09:16:10 · answer #2 · answered by ykokorocks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that yuo think that you are entitled to marriage at this point, speccially with a baby on the way. But I have to tell you, people don't change. If you are miserable now, you will continue be miserable later as marriage won't fix anything. Also, the hard labor and pressure of taking care of an infant will detirioate a relationship that is already on the rocks. I know that this is not what you want to hear, but it's the thruth.
I wish the best for you, but I urge you to reconsidering pushing the issue of marriage with someone that has hurt you and that probally will continue his same old patterns.
Good luck
2006-07-27 09:54:35 · answer #3 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are having a child with him. You'll need to maintain some sort of relationship with him for the sake of your child, romantically or as a friend. You need to decide if he is someone you can count on in a marriage and as a partner in raising your child. If major issues, perhaps you don't want to marry him. You can establish child support and visitation through courts. If you want to marry him, you have a lot of things to work out. Especially to have a healthy relationship to raise your child in. NO, a ring is not necessary for a proposal. But both of you need to be in a committed relationship with each other if the promise of marriage is made.
2006-07-27 08:40:48 · answer #4 · answered by viclyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you speak like 4 years is a long time. No dear it is not and maybe he is tired already. You need to back up and give him space. Don't pressure him, or it wont work no way! Just enjoy becoming a mother and let him do his part and if it is meant to be, he will fall to his knees and ask for your hand in marriage. But for yourself just know that having a child by someone do not mean it will last forever ! Things like that wake people up to what is really going on, and sometimes they need that space to put it in order with the rest of whats happening in they're life.
2006-07-27 08:39:56 · answer #5 · answered by ressie re 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bellieve that in a relationship both people have to work at it and sometimes it is very difficult. But if one of the people in the relationship are not prepared to work at it i think maybe its time to move on. You have a child on the way, now honestly tell me would you want this child to come into a place where the father is unreliable and insensitive.
Its up to you. But either sort the problems out, or get out of the relationship.
2006-07-27 08:45:19 · answer #6 · answered by Robin S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get your own life and priorities straighten out before taking on his. First of all - how are you going to provide for this child - obviously he can't afford to buy a ring - how do you think he can support a child? It sounds like both of you need to step back and put the life of this miracle you created first.
Do you realize what an awesome task it is to have a baby? Yes, they are cute and cuddly - but they also need food, shelter, doctor's care, clothing, toys, school supplies, etc, etc, and etc - lots and lots of love and attention - Can you really provide all that and much, much more?
2006-07-27 08:58:06 · answer #7 · answered by wild_orchid_tx36 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a huge decision, but you need to decide: Do you want your life to be like this forever? Because that is what marriage is supposed to be. If you don't think it will last forever, then don't get married. You should never get married thinking "I can always get a divorce if it doesn't work out."
I don't know how he "messed up." But before you do anything, you need to resolve what was done and if it could ever happen again.
2006-07-27 08:39:32 · answer #8 · answered by Robb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, Go into the Bath room, Look in the mirrow.. Have a talk with the person there.. The mirrow will not like..
The mirror will give you a truthful answer..
The mirror will not let you do what is wrong. You must listen though.
2006-07-27 08:41:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is the thing: It sounds like he just needs time. FOr some men the ring is important to them to be able to give to you. Don't get mad at him for not doing somethign you want him to do. Give him time. I know that is hard but you have to respect his wishes. I pray for you all the best and hope that everything works out for you.
2006-07-27 10:40:14 · answer #10 · answered by glitter3317 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my gosh.......honey, please don't push this relationship. you need to be focusing on your health & your pregnancy. as horrible as it may seem, as a life without him, you need to let him go. let him float around out there on his own, and see how things go. the more you pressure him the farther away he'll go. there is nothing, nothing worse in life than having a new baby and an unhappy marriage. the baby does not deserve that. if it was meant to be, he'll come to his senses, and come back to you. meanwhile and always, just concentrate on doing the best by the love your are carrying. do right by your baby. i wish you well!
2006-07-27 08:39:03 · answer #11 · answered by amuse4you 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋