why does my son never listen to me but always listens to his father??????????????????

Answer 1

He's learned not to push his fathers buttons. Fathers don't tell a child twice to do something, they expect movement the minute they speak.

Answer 2

There could be many reasons. Without knowing the family dynamics in your situation no one could say for sure. Some things I would suggest you think about to figure it out for yourself: Are you always consistant with discipline? Is his father? Children need consistancy. If they don't have clear boundries and know you will follow through with the conseqences they will push you every time. Does the child's father undermine your authority in any way? Children pick up on those things. Hopefully that is not the case but does happen, sometimes without realizing it. He may think he's just joking around but your son may be picking up on it. When his father is around does he automatically take the role of authority? If so your son may have ranked him higher in authority. Make sure the responsbility of discipline is shared. Those are the most important issues I can think of. You will have to look at your individual situation to see what may be going on.

Answer 3

My ex used to have the same problem. In her case, she was a yeller. She would yell at the kids, use swear words, make threats. I don't know what it might be in your case though. In her case, the kids just got numb to it, would ignore her or blow her off. It always got referred to me to resolve. What I would do was take the kid, in private, and we would sit at the table and discuss whatever issue it was, quietly, no yelling or cussing, no threats. I would lay it out, describe what the issue was, why it was an issue. I would also invite feedback from my child, ask if they now understood, what they thought they could be done to resolve it in detail. I found that if they understand, have a chance to put in their two cents, and are given the chance to come up with the methods to resolve the issue, then they are more commited to see it through. It worked a lot better than her method. I learned my way in the Navy, in school where they taught us how to counsel our shipmates. Best training I ever had, worked wonderfully with my kids. I never had to raise my voice, make threats, cuss, or anything. Kept my blood pressure down, and the kids seemed to be rather good at their end.

Answer 4

I did not listen to my mother when I was a young lad and it was only and only because my mum did not have a friendly relation with me and never paid any heed to my demands and requests.Its quite different now though but I can still remember those days.And my father was just like a friend always giving me full attention and care.

Answer 5

Depends on what your husband/boyfriend does when he doesn't listen. Let's say you just talk to the child and the father spanks. Or if the father goes through with a punishment versus you don't

Answer 6

if you look at this from a very simple perspective.....within all family units where both parents raise the offspring, the female nurtures, feeds, cleans and basically gives the offspring a sense of protection and comfort, while its the male teaches, survival, leadership skills and reasoning without emotion. this isn't about respect. most children don't understand the concept of "respect" until their cognitive thinking skills sharpen (7-9 yo)
so, infants cling to their mothers for comfort and security, toddlers will branch off to learn survival skills, pre-teens will detach from both to regain their " identity" and older teens will gravitate to the opposite sex parent to learn relationship skills and unfortunately manipulation of emotions. so in fact your son is listening to you but your not ready to give up protecting him. just remember, " a girl marries and becomes the "daughter" of another, but a son is a son for life" ( old Italian saying). having two sons, now 18 and 20, i understand the feeling of loss when they start to pull away, it starts with those first steps. but your letting him grow and learn to be a man. good luck.

Answer 7

Because mothers have that touch/ children think " what can she really do to hurt me". They listen to their father cause he's the man and most likely they know they're in real trouble if they don't listen.

Answer 8

it's not a lack of respect, but a lack of consistency. you need to make sure you both are using the same types of demands when asking him to clean up and do stuff like that. If one parent gives in more easily than the other, the child will turn to the parent he feels will give him the easier way out.

Answer 9

Me too - ain't it just so annoying? I think that maybe my husband/his father has a more authoritive voice (ie louder!) coz sometimes even when I really get mad at him and have to shout at the top of my voice, he just looks at me and shrugs! Grrr! I am being sustained by the notion that it is just a phase he is going through because of his age (12 going on 15!) and that he will grow out of it!

Answer 10

Men stick together. Maybe he feels closer to his dad then he does to you. How does your husband treat you? If he treats you like you are inferior to him maybe your son feels the same way about you and doesn't think he has to listen. Next to time you tell him something - enforce it. He will eventually learn to listen to both of you.