how can i forgive him?

Question

i am four months pregant and me and my boyfriend had a row the other day, he told me that his biggest mistake in life was me getting pregant(we were trying for 3 months) afterwards he told me that he only said it coz he know that it would upset me, now i cant stand him touching me or my bump, what can i do to get over this feeling?.
we have been together for 3 years.

Answer 1

As you are pregnant you are more sensible, he regrets what he has done so forgive him, you're together him just 3 years and hope that you will love him for many years.

Answer 2

what a c***t! i'm sorry but that is very nearly unforgivable; surely knowing how long you'd been trying for this baby and how much you wanted it would make him realise that this would more than upset you.
you don't say if he has apologised? if not, i think you will always think of this and resent him for those words...perhaps sit him down and tell him that it's about more than just upsetting you, he's said something so mean it made you see him in a new light, you never thought your b/f would be the sort of person to want to hurt you so bad at a time when you're so vulnerable...maybe he does not realise that this crosses the line as men are sometimes a bit slow on the uptake???
whatever happens, congratulations on the baby and good luck

Answer 3

He said it JUST to upset you???
But, people will often say things that they don't mean when angry. You're probably staying upset because of the pregnancy hormones that are having a party in your body, inviting all their friends along.

You both need to spend time together to remind yourselves why you fell so in love that you wanted a baby together.
This is a difficult, stressful, emotional time for you both, so remember to give each other time and space when it's needed but also to talk to each other about your sad feelings.

Give him a chance to apologise properly, but if anything like this happens again, get rid of him, even though it will be painful for you. You never know when unfair words will turn into unfair actions

Answer 4

Well it might not be answear to your question about forgiveness.
I remember back when my wife was pregnant with our first child.
When she was about 3 months pregnant, she could not stand me either...this lasted for the 2 longest month in my life.

So be aware that the hormones in pregnansy can do some strange thing to you.
It's important that you tell your boyfriend this and that you don't take any hasten decision in the time you are in now.
Good luck for the 3 of you:)

Answer 5

I cannot help you with forgiveness, that is something only you can do. Your first order of business is to continue to take care of yourself and baby, you are living for two! Maybe you'll need some time?, maybe time will tell you that you'll be doing this alone. None of us has a crystal ball to see the future. What ever the outcome only you will know the answer, and have to make the decision to get over it or get over him.

Answer 6

i have no idea but if my patner ever said that two me i wouold have packed my bag and gone. Maybe he did say it to upset which by reading this he has done but how do u get over these feelings i dont think you can to be hinest it will always be in ur mind like if someone told u u were fat enough it will always be threre. Im not sure how u would get over it but good luck with the baby x

Answer 7

Communication is always the main problem in a relationship...

He is probably worried about the responsibilities that come with a child. The main thing is to worry about the best interests for the child.

Maybe he is just stroppy because he cant have sex for a few months. Always stupid little things like that.

Answer 8

Communication is the key in any good relationship, talk to him and explain how you feel, if that doesn't help then try to relax or talk to a trusted friend, it might make your feel better, when I had my baby my hormones made me fly off the wall at the smallest thing, obviously this wasn't a small thing, but you may still over-react. we all say silly things in an argument maybe even you have?

Answer 9

I've learned that once they say such a mean thing to hurt you, they will always do it. I only wish that you would have found this out before becoming pregnant. I suggest that you try to forgive but don't forget it. Give him one more time to make you feel so horrible and then drop him because I would hate for you to go through so much pain.

Answer 10

some men don't realise what pregnancy and having children realistically involves and find the sudden changes difficult to deal with. you need to talk to him and see if what he said to you was said because you were arguing or if he truly feels that way. my partner didn't always know how to react to my pregnancy and birth but has since said that his boy was the best thing ever to happen to him. truly when your baby is here nothing else matters. unfortunately if your partner does have some issues it would be best to try and resolve them now, more for your peace of mind so you can begin to trust him again. good luck

Answer 11

WE say the most hurtful things to the ones we love. He could be feeling insecure at the moment and scared about the baby, its a big responsibility for him . Even tho you need reassuring so does he give him some space and let him know you love him.