I'm going to a farting competition this weekend. What is the best food to eat in order to win?

Answer 1

beans, beans, and beans

Answer 2

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Answer 3

It depends on what aspects of the flatulence you will be judged on. Smell, duration of fart, loudness, number of farts in a given period ?
An all around good fart can be attained by a week of eating Sauerkraut, Partially cooked Pinto Beans, and Sardines. Do not eat too much oil with the sardines as you want a nice sharp , snap to the fart, not a long slimey sound.
Good luck !

Answer 4

Well done!
15 years ago we all bowed to our champion. He was so overcoming to force us to quickly end the match and escape. In celebration, since that glorious day he's called 'Rebar' (Reinforced concrete, also called ferroconcrete in some countries, is concrete in which reinforcement bars ("rebars") or fibers have been incorporated to strengthen the material that would otherwise be brittle.) because his rotten core was so far unbeatable in burping and farting.
In our bunch the fart record not only was about 20" long, with standard sound switches and awful smelling, but it happens IN A LIFT --!!!!---
Of course, he isn't willing to share his knowledge - and he rules more by gifted skills than diet training - but some good recipe is well know.
Here they are:
Gas-increasing:
Cabbage and relatives - Broccoli, Brussels sprout, Sauer-Kraut.
Legumes - Bean is The Honorable King of Farts, but Lentils could pair it, you only need to handle carefully, they could easily have side effects when farting (sure you understand:-(
Smell-increasing:
GARLIC is your hidden weapon!
Raphanus cream is devastating!
Mustard
Both Categories:
Onions. Need care, as for Lentils beware side effects...
Hard boiled eggs
Drink:
Of course, all sparkling drinks are well fitted, and malt beers as Guinness are top rated.
Full dish:
My top recipe is GOLONKO from Poland. It's pork leg boiled with vegetables (cabbage is suited for, you can however add beans, not for taste but for farts). Serve with Raphanus cream and malt vinegar. Best if paired by boiled lentils (before boiling you can use olive oil to fry sliced onions and garlic), and boiled eggs with mustard.

Eat 1 hour before match starts and good luck anyone (especially to untrained friends;-)

Answer 5

You need to eat cabbage that has been cooked for more than 7 minutes. That is the time it takes to break down the fibre, and release the sulphuric acid. Mix in some chilli, and carraway seeds, and a little vinegar. Drink it with some dark beer, Toohey Old is best, and then STAND BACK!! You will be lethal,
Good Luck.

Answer 6

My Big Ten championship meal in 1982 ( I won for nasty stink) was: one can of Bush's Baked beans, one 16 oz jar of roasted unsalted peanuts, two roasted chicken legs and two thighs, washed down with a quart of Phiffers beer. Eat this about 3-4 hours before the actual competition and it will give you a competive edge. If you are going for flame, you should add more beans.

Answer 7

A farting competition?!! Lol, well my friend had a boyfriend once who drank a few pints of guinness and ate pickled eggs and he was absolutely rotten. Best of luck - hope you win!

Answer 8

Find a military surplus store that sells the Meal Ready to Eat (MRE) Rations and buy the Cajun Rice and Beans meal. No one will want to stand next to you.

Answer 9

good luck mate.
I've been to a competiton like this before!

DO NOT wear white Undies!!!

fizzy drinks - cheap onces wid lots of gas in them and don't belch, bottle all teh gasses in
realx and don't push too hard or you'll get more than gas! LOL

Answer 10

Firstly let us all know where the contest is so we can avoid the place.
All suggestions very good BUT wash it all down with lots of draught Guinness for the full effects to cut in.
Confucius he say "Speak loud old toothless one"

Answer 11

Fried onions,baked beans,spinach (ask popeye) in fact most vegetables as only vegetable matter produces gas.
The most important step is to swallow air to build up more gas in the system.