it seems awkward if i say anything, and would lead to all kinds of conversations i dont want to have, should I just not show up for the wedding, and let them have a good time at the reception atleast? Her parents paid for it, so it's not like I'd lose anything that way.
2006-07-26 22:08:07 · 12 answers · asked by chad l 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First evaluate if you really changed your mind or if you're just having cold feet. It happens a lot that people right before the wedding start having that "what am I doing?" feeling. But it's just what happens when you're about to make a big change in your life. It's scary, but it doesn't have to be bad, and most importantly, it's up to you! You can make your marriage work if you really want it to. And think about this: you got all the way to this point for a reason! You got engaged and thought about marriage in the first place most likely because you love her. So where did all that go. Did all that just disappear all the sudden? I don't think so. So, stop and think carefully.
Now, if after hard thinking you realize that you have really changed your mind, don't even think about running. You need to talk. Be aware that no matter what you say, you're going to break her heart, and it's better if you do it like a man. Face it now, because otherwise you'll never be able to look all those people (including your guests) in the face for a long long time, and even after that they'll always remember it and some will always hate you for it.
The expenses are probably mostly gone, maybe your bride's family can still save something if you speak sooner rather than later. But it's not very considerate to say "her parents paid for it, so it's not like I'd lose anything...". Be considerate, I don't think you're a jacka$$, so don't act like one. There's a lot at stake now, not only what you feel. There's lives that could be ruined by one single action of yours, so be wise!
2006-07-27 02:12:14 · answer #1 · answered by Patricia V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is a serious question...you obviously haven't given it much thought. Do you hate this girl so much that you would not only break her heart but humiliate her?
We all have to deal with the choices that we make in life. It's called consequences! You made the choice to marry this girl, made the choice to plan your wedding with her. And now two days before you are making the choice not to marry her. Well, you deserve any "awkward" moments that come up!
I don't understand why you would allow this girl to get dressed up and excited and ready for her wedding day when you have no intention of marrying her. I guarantee you that no one will have any fun at any reception. There is no having fun on a day when the groom just didn't show up to his wedding! And as for YOU not losing anything because her parents paid, that is extremely selfish. You are not the only person in this situation.
You need to sit your fiancee down and break the engagement as soon as possible. And if it's awkward just realize that you brought that on yourself through the choices that you have made. You need to have those conversations you don't want to have. You are about to completely destroy this girl. How is it that you have gone from loving her to wanting to hurt her as much as possible?
Okay, I know all that sounded harsh, but from your question it just seems like you need a huge wakeup call. I urge you to really think about this. Are you just getting cold feet? Are you sure you don't want to marry her? Chances are after this, you will never see her again (unless you live in certain states, in which case her parents can sue you for at least some of the wedding expenses). So I would be absolutely sure about this decision first, and second you need to tell her. And you need to tell her now!
2006-07-27 02:41:53 · answer #2 · answered by ykokorocks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, it's better you found out now, than after you were married. chances are, she may be feeling the same way, and is just afraid to say. but don't run. stay and talk to her. how would you feel if she left you standing at the alter? how will she feel? you're supposed to be marrying her, so aparently you love her, or at least you did at some point in time. and just because talking will lead to uncomfortable conversations you don't want to have, doesn't mean you shouldn't have them. in the real world, there are all sorts of uncomfortable situations. but we have to deal with them anyway. talk to her. have a friend there for support. don't get into an arguement, just talk like rational human beings. but please, don't run out on her. she's worth more than that.
2006-07-27 05:37:55 · answer #3 · answered by ditzi_k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to grow up and tell her. Of course it's easier to run from your problems, but after all the money and time that goes into planning a wedding, the least you owe her is an explanation.
2006-07-27 00:31:21 · answer #4 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you really think anyone would enjoy the reception if your poor fiancee is left totally devastated.
Dont be selfish.
have the talk with your girlfriend. its probably just pre wedding nerves everyone gets tham
dont just run out on her thats cruel
2006-07-27 05:06:12 · answer #5 · answered by melissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You changed your mind?! Good heavens!
If you HAVE to get out of this... try not to embarrass HER or yourself... Go talk to her and tell her how you honestly feel. Then you can leave... and go hide or do whatever...
But, honestly, I think that you are just getting cold feet and getting nervous about the situation. Which is totally normally. I would go talk to your parish priest or minister about how you are feeling...
Good luck.
2006-07-27 02:08:13 · answer #6 · answered by ChitChatBrat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIrst sit and discuss with her. Maybe there is some communication gap. What appears to me is that you guys are a loving couple. Are you sure you will find someone as good as her. Give her a chance to explain.
2006-07-26 22:12:23 · answer #7 · answered by Maninder 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how can you do such a thing ? where were you from the very begining of the matter ? you're thinking that her parents paid foe it and not thinking of the poor girl you're gonna break her heart , if you're a real man you'll never do such a thing .
2006-07-26 22:50:39 · answer #8 · answered by It's me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can't believe people even answer you seriously! you are such an idiot and you will be suspended by the end of the day for being a faker! don't listen to him people, he is PRETENDING to be my boyfriend, saying that i am his finace when guess what idiot, we're not even engaged so you make yourself look like even more of a dumbass!
2006-07-27 06:37:07 · answer #9 · answered by Alie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt this is a serious question, but if it is, stop being a coward and talk to them, if you don't they will hunt you down like a dog.
2006-07-27 02:25:33 · answer #10 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋