2006-07-26 22:01:32 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Take some time out to take this news in, then you need to decide if you want things to stay as they are or do you want to know who your real father is, and then you have to think about the reasons behind why your mum has done this and if she is willing to speak about it then you can get to know the facts and it might be that you wont need to find out who your real dad is or that you will be eager to find out. I am sure you mum will have her reasons for this and if it is tricky for her to talk about it this may take some time before you are in the picture as to how things ended up the way the did.
2006-07-27 21:10:57 · answer #1 · answered by ooooh look @ me, lol 3 · 7⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes our parents have their own reasons for what they do. Just be glad that you know what you now know, no matter how late you found it out. It is better to know the truth, no matter how shocking it is. Give it some time to sink in. If you feel it will help you, you can try to find your biological father. You will probably find out that your Mom did the right thing by not telling you, and she was probably protecting your stepfather's feelings by not having you thinking of him as a stepfather instead of a real father. After some time, I think you will find that you had a more stable life not knowing this, but you are now mature enough to handle it. Your Mom knows you better than anyone ever will, and maybe she thought you would now be able to deal with this information. Just remember, your Mom was protecting you and your stepfather all these years, but she still told you the truth, not to hurt you, but just so you would know the truth.
2006-07-26 22:19:09 · answer #2 · answered by 420Linda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On the one hand I can understand you feeling upset as you were deceived for so long.. but on the other you had a father who stuck by you for 44years thus far so he really is your dad though not biologically. This lie should not destroy 44 years of family. What were her reasons for not telling you? And why wait so long?
2006-07-26 22:02:51 · answer #3 · answered by kitkool 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother did what she thought was right, even though you feel hurt.
You had a man in your life that loved you no matter what, he must have been a wonderful man to accept a child into his life that wasn't created by him, no wonder your mother loved him, and didn't tell you the truth.
Maybe she was protecting you from a man that didn't want you, so that you could grow up feeling loved, and have a positive male role model , to help you become the man you are today.
It's okay to feel hurt, and wonder 'what could have been', every child does when they find out the truth, but in the end that doesn't change a thing, you are the man you are today, because of the parents that raised you...
2006-07-27 00:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by noahsmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forty-four years is quite a long period for someone to maintain silence about such a personal issue.Nonetheless,I think your mom had a special reason, either something to do with your reaction or what your dad did to her.
Again, you might have bonded well with your birth certificate father such that she had to patiently wait for your maturity.Though she finally blurted the truth out, no matter how it hurts, I would advise you to respect her point of view.This is also hurtful to her as well, so spare her the scathing ordeal and just give her a kiss and cherish how you have fared in life. Remember, to err is human be it a child or adult; noone has all the answers. Enjoy life!!
2006-07-27 06:36:09 · answer #5 · answered by marizani 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Verify with a DNA test - if the results prove that your Mother is correct but you feel towards him the same way as if he were your real Father then acknowledge same to him - get him to confirm this himself - if you are a male son, should not be a problem. On the otherhand if you are a female daughter - this could be a problem and you may need to seek psychological advice as to how to proceed.
2006-07-26 23:45:32 · answer #6 · answered by bottmj2004 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats absolutely horrible of her. is she angry at your 'dad' ? angry at u? how dare she do that. why didnt she do it when u were younger. its a fine line here some people would tell and some people wouldnt. i think its disgusting at your age u should be told. why bother at all now. its strange. wonder what her reasons were. has he just passed away? or angry. is he having an affair? there must be a reason. nops u shouldnt tell a 44 year old. im 43 and would be devestated.
what to do...? have a long chat with your mum. she has to answer a lot of questions. u must be feeling crap.
good luck.
2006-07-26 22:17:06 · answer #7 · answered by shariwharton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look this is very paiful for you or anyone who faces such a position bcoz his total entity is at stake , i mean why your mother did not tell you about your father , you must ask her , if she has strong reasons , bcoz life sometimes put you in very difficult position , surely your mother would have been through that , so try not to hurt her but you have all the right to ask the reason and look out for your father, but i tell you man this can happen to anyone in the world bcoz this is the secret only a woman knows.
2006-07-26 22:13:27 · answer #8 · answered by parinda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and chill think things over and take things from there don't go in all guns blazing you wont get no way your mum must have done this for a reason talk.P.S good luck wishing you all the best xx
2006-07-26 22:15:29 · answer #9 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should not matter much when you are 44 year old. One should be mature enough by now. Life sometimes presents such unpleasant surprises.
Perhaps you will be the only person other than your mother to know this. Nothing needs to be done. Just move on. It is already a history now.
2006-07-26 22:15:04 · answer #10 · answered by KANGO 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋