She is 6 years old. Hes getting married at the jp so its not a real big deal. I asked her and she said that she was sad because she liked it when he and i were together( we split up 2 years ago)and she was confused. But she says she wants to go. I just dont want her to feel like a third wheel( I think a few other ppl are going too tho). Please help
2006-07-26 20:00:31 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Thanks for everybodys answers. I will have another talk with her b4hand. Her dad is just very immature and has only know this woman maybe 2 months. My daughter has only seen her 2 times. But I guess shes gonna have to get used to her.
2006-07-26 20:24:36 · update #1
What I have learned is that it is better to let someone else be the bad guy. I have 2 step-kids and their mom died when they were 5 and 8. I have learned to let go, but explain that it is their decision if they want to visit, or go somewhere with them, or spend the night. If they make her feel like a third wheel, tell her to call you to pick her up. Give her your cell so she doesn't have to ask for one of their phones. That way she will remember that you were there for her.
On the other hand, the step mother to be may have asked to have her be there. She may be well intentioned and is trying to involve your daughter. That is what I do, I try to consider everyone's feelings, and I also try to use the opportunities given to me to share a piece of my life with the kids and their grandparents.
Good Luck in whatever you decide to do!
2006-07-26 22:17:13 · answer #1 · answered by scooter_trash 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If she wants to go then let her. If anything it will help her realize that yes it is officially over. It might help accepting it alot easier for her. Plus you dont want to give any one the opportunity to hold her not being there against you and accuse you of being jealous. You just might need that time for yourself. Maybe get together with some friends and enjoy a ladies night out. If not you could possibly end up spending the day with her feeling even worse. Good luck.
2006-07-27 03:17:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went to my fathers wedding when he married his second wife. At the time I was also six. I was extremely angry through the whole thing and even objected to the union and had to be removed. I still wish I hadn't gone. I am not sure of your exact situation or how your daughter feels about it but if shes doesn't like the idea of the marriage I would opt for her to stay away from the wedding.
2006-07-27 03:52:33 · answer #3 · answered by ashez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants to go you should let her. She needs to get used to having a step-mom and this is the first step. Whatever you do don't become one of those bitter women that badmouthes their EX and their new spouse to their children. If you say nothing but + things she will make up her own mind about her and she will have a better relationship with all of you.
2006-07-27 03:05:55 · answer #4 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't read all the answers so I don't know if I am repeating.
I would let her go, but I would have you go too. She might try to pull something to ruin the wedding and you will need to set her straight because your ex is going to be busy getting married and doesn't need the extra burden of her IF she decided to pull something.
2006-07-27 05:02:48 · answer #5 · answered by Lib 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My littler brother said flip a coin but he's and idiot.... let her go if she wants to. That way she can see that her dad is happy and that way she won't be upset about not going. it's really your choice. you should try and go with her, so she won't be a third wheel, and you can possibly bury the hatchet between your ex and yourself...If not for yourself then for your baby girl. Even if you don't go, her dad shouldn't treat her like a heavy weight on his shoulders anyway, that's his baby as much as she is yours and if he can't except that TOUGH LUCK... if she does get upset, buy her something she wants, works everytime... GOOD LUCK
2006-07-27 03:15:25 · answer #6 · answered by viv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be good for her to be included in the wedding (at least BE THERE). They are going to be a family and she is part of that family and should be there. It might help her to understand if you explain that now she will have a Mommy, a Daddy and now a step-mommy and that it is okay to have all of these because it is just one more person that loves her!
2006-07-27 03:06:07 · answer #7 · answered by shellshell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let her go. If you want her to have a good relationship with her father and his fiance then, yes let her go. But explain to her that even though her dad is getting married, that he will always love her and no matter what he is her father.
2006-07-27 03:06:52 · answer #8 · answered by Christina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should allow her to go, but you should sit down and have a talk with her about what it means that daddy is re-marrying. (Try to keep it a very basic conversation, to her level) Maybe ask her if she has any questions.
Also, you should make sure that someone will be there with her (if you're not going...). She is still quite the young'n and might need guidance! :)
2006-07-27 03:06:36 · answer #9 · answered by Oh no 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let her go. She is little, but it's good for her to start adapting to his marriage now. Plus, I know when my father got remarried I was happy to be there, and it was done at a preacher friend 's house with a small amount of people there. It'll mean more to him too that his daughter is there to witness him starting his 'new life'. I know it might be tough to let her go, but you should, nonetheless.
~*cheers*~
2006-07-27 03:06:55 · answer #10 · answered by mary_beth303 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋