i miss my dad ?

Question

he got a part time job at an ambulance station. then quit his full time job and made his part time a full time. then he got another full time job doing the same thing in a town an hour away. usually he has to stay at the stations all day and all night for 2 or 3 days so he isnt around much. i miss him. last time he was home he took my sister and i to the mall and got us stuff. this weekend he'll be home and mom said he's gonna take us shopping again. it's cool that we now have more money cuz of his 2 fulltime jobs and my mom's full time job and that he gets us stuff when he is home. im happy that he likes his new jobs but i know he misses us but i feel guilty when he gets us stuff (even though we didn't do anything to deserve it) just cuz he feels guilty that he's not around. im used to having to deserve the things they get me so i dont like things handed to me on a silver plate. dont get me wrong, im greatful for the things he gets us. what do i do

Answer 1

Aww that sucks. Don't ever feel guilty. What hes doing is life although it may suck hes trying to do this so you guys can live a better quality of life. Talk to him and tell him you want time with just the two of you. On his nights off go see a movie or for a walk. Tell him he has to make the time because gifts are just not cutting it. Don't hold it all in tell him. I hope i have been some help. Cheer up and good luck.

Answer 2

Wonder whether this is allowed at all... In Germany, at least, there are time restrictions on working hours. Two full time jobs at once seems a little too much for me.

Concerning your problem: you should let him know how you feel about him always buying you stuff with this hard earned money. Why don't you suggest to save what he would give to you and your sister and go on a weekend family trip instead. Or to get him something to relax, something new to wear, etc.

All you need to say is that you already have everything that counts but you'd really like to spend more time with your Dad.

Answer 3

Sounds like u have a great dad and what I would do since you think he feels guilty for not being with you more is to let him know that you love him and support him and his jobs and instead of going shopping to ease a guilt trip,tell him that u would rather just spend quality time with him such has a good long talk or anything that has nothing to do with money.You will make his day and I know Im a dad,besides he will probably still take u to the mall.Anyhow good luck and best wishes.

Answer 4

How old are you, and are you a boy or a girl? Just curious.

Anyway, I would nicely tell him exactly what you said here. It may not change things much, but you will all benefit from communicating more openly. And your dad will know your thoughts and feelings, to take them into consideration as he has to make each new decision for your family life. I'm impressed that you are trying to be understanding, and yet are so honest about the good and bad points of the new situation.

You might also explain to him very calmly and sweetly that he doesn't always have to buy you stuff -- that you know he loves you when he spends time with you, hugs you, says he loves you, and works hard for you.

Answer 5

Try suggesting that the next time your father comes home you do something else for the day - something that you, your dad and your sister will all enjoy but means he isnt buying you gifts. Perhaps you could try something you dont normally do, like go-karting or a museum or going to the park for a picnic. That way you get to spend quality time with your dad and you dont have to feel guilty accepting gifts.

Answer 6

Call him on some of the days he is at the station that way you won't miss him as much. And About you not wanting him to spoil you you should tell him about that and during the days he is not at home keep track of things you did to deserve something and tell him those things when he comes Home.

Answer 7

Hey there. Well i think you have to accept that he might not be giving you things because hes feeling guilty, but because he enjoys it. I do think you should talk to him alone and explain what your thinking. As youve asked the question to everyone but him. Tell him you support him in whatever he does, and that he doesnt need to buy you these things, and you would prefer to spend the time with him than at the mall shopping. You might find he still wants to go shopping, or buy you gifts.

Answer 8

You dad is not taking you shopping because he feels guilty. He is doing it cause he want to spend Quality time with you. He figures that "Quality time" for a female is shopping. If you would rather do something then tell him. He only wants to do what makes you happy and will make memorable times for the both you and your sister.

It sounds to me like your dad left a job he was very unhappy with and started doing what he loves to do. Because the pay is lower he works two jobs to provide for his family. I wish every man I meet was as responsible as your father is.

Answer 9

You do need your dad in your life to form healthy relationships as you get older. If he is taking the jobs just because he enjoys working and not because of finances...I think you should talk to him (it's obvious that he loves you and wants you to be happy).

If your family needs the money, it's a hard call. You may just talk to him about the situation and see what his plan is. You may even ask if you can talk to him on the phone every night to feel a little closer to him while he is gone. I wish you lots of luck.

Answer 10

sometime parent buy their kids things when they have the money right away because they couldn't before. this is either a phase, or he is feeling guilty about not be with you. it is fine to like the shopping, but ask your sister if she wants to do something else for the day. you can always go shopping. try the local park, with some recreation, like a water park, or a pool with water slides. it is hot outside. try and take him to do something you like. go for a day trip to a notional park. be creative. I know that shopping can get boring (I am not trying to be mean, I understand) but you want to spend time with your dad right. ask your sis if she has any ideas. your dad might even be relieved that there is something else you want to do. good luck.

blessed be.