First Off, Im the leading Male member in my family, All fathers/Uncels have passed away, killed in wars etc. 5 older cousins are all in law enforcement and academies across the US, 1 is overseas.
The guy who did this is also underage, was going out with my cousin, till she wasnt ready to give it up. Turns out his older brother went to school with me, but we never got along.
Cant go to the cops, because there is no brusing and no evidence, in fact they "suggested" my li'l Cuz' was lying.
Do I take matters into my own hands, protecting the family's dignity?
2006-07-26 19:52:15 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Community Service
My cousin said that he didnt actually get to do anything, that she ran as soon as he got forcefull with her.
She did call the cops, her mom did, and there was a report done, medical exam etc.., however there was no evidence, and yes I do trust my cousin to tell me the truth.
2006-07-26 20:27:49 · update #1
I understand your frustration. Sometimes law enforcement makes you wonder why they are even there if they don't do anything. It makes you think, "Well, can I go do what this guy did and get away with it too?" Not saying you would ....but you get my point....that it makes people think anyone can get away with anything. I understands your cousins frustration too and I feel bad for her. The best thing to do though would be to chalk this up as a loss. Do your best to move on. You did all you could for her, and taking matters in to your own hands will only make matters worse.
2006-07-31 20:50:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
The same thing happened to me. The best thing is to make a police report. I also had no real evidence and unfortunately it is not easy to prove, but at least there is a report in case this happens to someone else. There will be a complaint on file that it was not the first offense. And no don't take things in your own hands two wrongs don't make a right. I would also have her go to a rape crisis center if this is what happened. It will not be easy for her to deal with and the people at the clinic have the best resources to deal with this situation. They will also be able to give you advice. I'm sorry its hard to be young and deal with these kind of issues but please don't get into any trouble.
2006-07-27 03:09:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know too much detail about the american legal system because its different in quite a few aspects. but there are some basic similarities, he could probably be charged with assault, in our system it just needs to be proved that there was a reasonable apprehension of fear of violence in the mind of the victim.
As much as you want to beat the living hell out of him, how will it help you cousin to know that you are serivng time in gaol for an assault that you commited directly for her? I'm assuming your an adult and being such you would be assaulting a minor...
Comfort your cousin, ask her if there is anything you can do for her, make sure she knows she did the right thing in running from him and that she did nothing wrong.
Talk to the police to see if another charge is possible, it is still attempted assault regardless of physical evidence.
2006-07-27 18:56:04 · answer #3 · answered by jenny c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might be best to take a "wait and see" approach. If she is lying you should figure that out before beating up the boy. If there is a report then it is likely the cops talked to the family and to the boy.
Of course, if you figure out that the buy really did do it and you feel the need to beat up on him, make sure to do it in such a way that there is no evidence.
2006-08-01 06:57:04 · answer #4 · answered by Wyld Stallyns 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be rational about the situation but I would definitly contact his parents the school social services because hes underage. And the police are not legally allowed to suggest she is lying in this matter (u.s.) i was in the situation myself and went to my brother. they have hospitals that specifically work with sexual assult only and there are ways to find out whether or not it did happen even if there are no bruises (rape if im thinking correctly). unfortuantely you only have 24 hours befor the evidence begins to fade. you can't just let it slide thats your family and if you do, that won't leave you with any dignity. you might want to talk to your other cousins seeing as though they are in law enforcement also contact a lawyer and if you have any younger cousins that our underage, F*(king kick his a$$!!! if you don't do anything the kid might do it to the next girl he dates and doesn't give up to him.
2006-07-27 03:06:54 · answer #5 · answered by ~Bethany~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, because by being the leading male member of your family, if you do that you will likely end up in jail then there will be no one to protect the rest of your family.
Go as soon as possible with her the nearest ER and the largest hospital close to where you live, let them know what happened and ask that she by processed by a forensic nurse as they specialize in processing rape cases. The cops will have to investigate the matter, if they don't you can go to the Prosecutor and they can lose their jobs.
2006-07-27 03:03:18 · answer #6 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do hope you guys reported this incident - even without obvious evidence. If he did this to her...chances are he will do this to somebody else...which is why this needs to be in the records.
I understand that you want to save the family's reputation, but putting your future in jeopardy isn't going to help anyone either...as you said so yourself - you are the only top male in the family left. You guys need to report this...evidence or not...get it? He needs to at least be confronted by authorities about this incident. That way also ...if it will escalate- the police knows the history.
Now if you lived in my native country...I'd say go ahead...do what you think you gotta do....There in our barrio, blood vengeance is still common practice...no regards of the consequences.
Please let your cousin know that you are not disregarding what happened to her, ....show this by making sure the incident is reported. Good luck to your family.
2006-07-27 03:04:20 · answer #7 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make VERY sure she is telling you the truth and ALL of it. Seen too many dudes get in a world of hurt over false accusations like this. If so you need to visit this youngster with a little reminder. Choose a time and place where you can be quick, unseen and no way to positively pick you out.
2006-07-27 03:01:05 · answer #8 · answered by draciron 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a police report even if they can't do anything. They will still go to the guys house which may scare some sense into him, or if he tries it again with someone else, your report will come up for that case.
2006-08-01 02:39:27 · answer #9 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call one of the other men in your family and discuss it. She can still file a restaining order and get a papertrail started! Watch her in the future though, women have a pattern of choosing the SAME TYPE OF MAN OVER AND OVER! Next time she might not be as lucky! I'll say a prayer for both of you!
2006-07-27 04:18:36 · answer #10 · answered by Candy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋