Any moms with toddlers have anhy advice on how to cope with stress?

Question

MY HUSBAND CURRENTL DEPLOYED I HAVE 2 YEAR 8 MONTH OLD DAUGHTER AND BETWEEN HER MY 5 MONTH OLD PUPPY AND CAT I AM GOING NUST! IT IS LIKE BEING A SINGLE MOM. ANY ADVICE WOULD BE GREAT, I DONT HAVE LOTS OF ACCESS TO A SITTER MY ONE CLOSE FRIEND HAS 2 KIDS AND DOESNT NEED A 3RD ON TOP OF HER LOAD.

the cat is my hubby's and i love him to pieces and my puppy is my new babvy so she aint going anywhere if it werent for her i dont think i would do anyhting during the day! i got her cause i wanted a dog and for protection 3 attempted break ins so

Answer 1

i am EXACTLY in your boat. my husband is also deployed, and i have 2 toddlers. 3 1/2 and 1 1/2. just like you i am going nuts too!! i also feel like a single mom and it sucks. a large group of my friends all got orders and moved away, we are overseas in a foreign country with no family around, .......my 3 1/2 year old was driving me insane, (seriously) so i enrolled him in a day program. it does cost us, but i didn't feel like i was being an effective parent when i was stressed out everyday, we were all miserable. enrolling my 3 1/2 year old made a HUGE difference for all of us. i had a chance to miss him, i felt like a better mom when i did see him. i was more patient, he got worn out during the day so he wasn't so wound up when i picked him up, it was soooooooo much easier running errands, i have a friend that also has 2 kids, and i'd never ask her to watch both of my kids on top of her own 2 kids but she did say she'd watch one of them so when my son goes back to his day school (he's on break now) i am gonna take my younger child to my friend so i can get a pedicure or something done for myself. truthfully the support from the squadron here SUCKS, they don't care so i do not even try to depend on them but my lifesaver has been this day program my son goes to. he attends 5 days a week for 4 hours a day. good luck to you!!

Answer 2

This is the plight of the typical military spouse. I am about ready to go crazy with my husband being in Korea...and we don't even have kids...just cats (which without them, I think I probably would have lost my mind).

Do you still live on the Army base or near it? Does his unit have a Family Readiness Group? What about other support resources on the base. Perhaps you could get involved in play groups...kid swaps...you take them one day along with your friends' kid and she takes all the kids the next day.

Another thing you might try is housecleaning swaps...one day, you and a friend get together and clean your house and the next day you clean hers.

Do you work? If not, perhaps you could consider placing your children in childcare part day. 4 hours a day won't hurt them and it will give you the much needed relief away from them. It's hard being the primary caregiver 24/7, especially if you don't work. I know childcare costs...but you should be getting a lot of extra money from the military...there's a reason why they give extra money for 'hardship' tours. Perhaps you can get a part time job simply to pay for the childcare, get out of the house and then have a few hours to yourself everyday.

See if a neighborhood teenager will come help you train the puppy...take it for walks (a pup alone is a lot of stress). Take your puppy to obedience training classes...it would be a whole lot less stressful than trying to do all the training yourself.

If you think you are going to snap and hit your kid or something...there is nothing wrong with locking her in her room and stepping outside or even calling a friend or asking a neighbor to come sit with you.

If you need a sitter...call the red cross on post...they usually have teenager babysitting classes and you can also call the Child Development Center for sitters.

I wish I could be there for you! I'd take your kid for a day...I love kids!!!! Military life is rough for everyone.

*hugs*

EDIT: Hey, I just looked at your 360 page and noticed that you guys are stationed where my husband is going when he gets back from Korea (and then goes to Afghanistan)! Hehe...we'll be there in January or Febuary. 'it's a small world'

Answer 3

you and your friend can swap kids sometimes. you both probably need the break. that will give her a break and you also. does your daughter take naps still (i doubt it, but just a try). Is there a park nearby. you could get out of the house. well, the reason i asked if she naps is...you could set a timer, and make just 30 minutes a day for yourself to start. if she doesn't take a nap, have her watch a movie. it is worth it for you to get your sanity back. during that 30 minutes, try and do something you need to do for yourself. read a book, meditate. do something in private that will help you relax. also, if you are not exercising, try that. it relieves stress. go to the BX/PX and get a video that you can do and that you wouldn't mind her doing it with you.

I am sorry to hear your husband is deployed. When I was in, I had a friend that her husband was deployed when we were overseas, I was a single parent then. We just did as much as we could together of course with the kids. good luck!

blessed be.

Answer 4

I don't know what you would do with that puppy, but ask your friend if you can babysit her 2 kids all day for her, then can suggest at the same time that she take your daughter for the day in return. To be honest, when you have 2 kids already, watching just one more isn't much to ask. I have 3 kids, and will take my close friends 3 kids for the day. In some ways, it's less work because they are all occupied with each other. Acutally, her kids would love the play date, and would be lots of fun!!! If she's a great friend, she will understand- I promise. You need a break. You need to get out that day, and go shopping, or scrapbooking, or out to lunch, or anything you like to do for fun. Let me warn you though, after about 3 hours you will be itching to get back to your baby!! : )

Answer 5

i am sure that if you offered to take your friends 2 kids once in a while she would gladly take your daughter once in a while that way the 2 of you could have alone time also if she has a trustworthy sitter have the sitter take all 3 kids for a while and the 2 of you just go out and have some fun together. my little sister has 3 kids and i have 1 and we both watch eachothers kids. usually we only watch them so that the other one can go to work but it also gets it so that we can have alone time. i also have 4 cats in my house so i understand the need to get away. also if you have family close by (yours or your husbands) they will probably take your daughter for at least a few hours if you asked.

Answer 6

Girl, you have to decide who's on the TOP of your priorities... your KID (i hope she is), the dog or the cat?

I have two kids with me and my husband is working abroad. I was able to juggle all my responsibilities and obligations with more ease by planning everything in advance. My elsest kid is just about your daughter's age and there's my one-year old. I also work.

If you can ask your mom to live with you for a while until you've established a routine. That might help.

Please think about your kid first... why put her into the care of others while you attend to your pets? That would be unfair.

Answer 7

A friend of mine went thru this, her kids two boys 6&5 & a girl 4 when the kids were younger & she was a stay at home mom. I went over there alot. Most times I brought my two kids who are older. She just liked having the company & my kids were great with hers. Her kids loved having older kids to play with & it gave her a lil break from them constantly wanting her attention. Maybe you & your friend could take turns at each others homes watching each others kids at night while they sleep one of you could go out~ see a movie or whatever. It is very stressful having a toddler moreso when you're alone. As far as the pets go, could you put them in the bathroom or somewhere else in your home together while you & your daughter go places together? Good luck sweetie

Answer 8

You need a change of scenery. Try taking your kid to the park, zoo, mall, a kids movie, or anywhere different. Keep yourself busy and out of the house. My sis-in-law likes to take her daughter with her and get their nails done together. Her salon even does the child's nails for free.

I am a mother of four (4, 4, 2, and 4mo) and if I get couped up in the house for more than a couple of days I feel like I am going crazy. Having the kids with me doesn't bother me any I just want to do something different so I always bring them along and always try to do something different.

Answer 9

sounds like we're in about the same boat.... i have a son who is 2 years and 1 month old and am in my 8th week of pregnancy and i have 2 dogs. except my husband isn't deployed just not able to be with us at the moment. but i know the feeling about going nuts.... try to get your daughter to take a short nap and grab a book and head for the tub... that's what i always do. i also like heading outside on the porch swing after my son is in bed at night to just sit and think and look at the stars.... just make sure you leave the porch light off so you don't get eaten by bugs... anyways, i hope this helps a little. if you would just like someone to talk to e-mail me... [e-mail]. just put something in the subject line so i know it's you and don't delete it thinking it's junk mail. i also have yahoo messenger.... good luck

Answer 10

i have 3, one 6, one 3, one 4mths, sometimes the stress, like u, I dont have sitters, so I am home 24/7 with my kids. id get rid of the dog and cat for starters. Mayb put the child in a stroller and take a short walk...when she naps,,,,take some really deep breaths,,,ah who am I Kidding? i sure havent figured out how to beat the stress!! lol,,,,