My boyfriend doesnt know if he can get over my mistake of cheating on him, i need to make it up to him,but how

Question

i was wasted & everyone agreed not to tell my bf he found out but i denied it and he believed me until finally he didnt believe me anymore he got over it but then got mad again and not says he doesnt know if he can ever be happy with me and isnt as committed to me and isnt motivated to see me i cheated on him when we first started to be together things have changed so much i know i would never drink unless he was with me ever again&i havent.he doesnt want to see me&doesnt seem to care that im being torn apart by this.iknow hes upset but feeling like someone you care about so much not caring about you anymore, hurts. he says he doesnt know if he can ever forgive me.i know theres no one else i want, he called me a **** since he was mad but i dont care im staying with him, is this a good idea?i need to know how to get him to believe he can get unmad and we can get better and i am the one he needs to stay with. i just dont know what to do! please help!!

Answer 1

let him do you in the rear. that will fix all your problems.

Answer 2

First off babes - getting wasted ISNT an excuse, love is supposed to be unconditional and regardlessof how drunk you are - cheating isnt really acceptable.
However - we all make mistakes and you've learned from yours. As for what he called you - he was entirely entitled to call you a B*tch - because you hurt him and misplaced his trust. Thats a hard thing to replace in a relationship, but if you love him as much as you say you do, then you'll be prepared to weather the storm and show him. I think it might be a good idea to show him the question you've posted on here as it explains things pretty clearly - you do sound so regretfull about your actions, and often we dont portray how sorry we are in words as good as we do on paper - I think if you print your question off - show it to him and explain that you are being so torn and upset by this whole incident that you were driven to post the question on here for guidance and advice.
Hopefully he'll understand how upset you are by all this and reconsider how he treats you. If he doesnt, then Im sorry to say that I think you're better off without him - however for future relationships - ease of the drink! Best of luck

Answer 3

You say "feeling like someone you care about so much not caring about you anymore, hurts" but thats exactly the way he felt when he found out.
Thing is, with no disrespect intended, If people are liable to cheat, then it is possible to happen again.
You say you were wasted and also say that you wont drink unless he is with you BUT in saying this, you are basically admitting that you are likely to do it again if you get drunk.
How would you feel if he went out and did the same thing, would you ever trust him again?
It is pretty much impossible to rebuild trust after something like this. He obviously isn't happy with you anymore so you need to sit down and ask him "Do you want to be with me" and accept his answer, whatever it may be.
you said "i dont care im staying with him" but you need to think about what HE wants now.

Answer 4

there is nothing u can do, even if u can forget about it he was always have it in the back of his mind. even if he does forgive u it will still come up in arguments. what's done is done u can't change it u need to give him time see if he can deal with it or not but as for yourself this has been one of those things in life u learn the hard way. let him make his decision and it will hurt either way maybe u should just let go now and start rebuilding your life without him.

Answer 5

i had an affair a few years ago which in the end i openly told my husband about as the other bloke started threatening me when i went to break it off. it took a long while for my husband to trust me again but we loved each other and worked thro the 'problem'. if you and your boyfriend love each other enough i feel you will overcome this. we are happier and closer and our relationship, i feel, is much stronger than it ever was. it took time and a lot of hard work on my part but we got there and 3 years on are still very much in love.
good luck...just dont stray again!

Answer 6

you need to exhibit remorse and if he really can forgive you then this is my idea: anytime he goes out , pack your stuff and leave a note expressing how bad you feel, call yourself a few dirty names, tell him how you are torn apart by his rejection and how you can't forgive yourself for such a blunder. make him see your state and how your judgement was blurred (an error that you know should not occur again) and that you still love him but that you don't want to force yourself on him since it's your fault he's upset anyway. then stay away for sometime if he finds you then....

Answer 7

I don't think it is possible to make up for something like this. What you did broke his trust in you & it is almost always impossible to get that back. There is always the niggling doubt that if you have cheated before that you will do it again. It will hang over your relationship like a thundercloud forever.
Anyway, he deserves someone better than you. If you truly love someone there is no cheating - EVER.

Answer 8

you made the ultimate mistake. if i was your b/f i would have been your ex as soon as i found out about your cheating. you can cry, scream, plead, promise and say all you want but at the end of the day the trust has been broken and can never be fully renewed. he might say i forgive you but every time you leave the house he will wonder who your going to meet. its just a waste of two lives to carry on as it will tear both of you apart.
as i said you committed the ultimate sin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Getting caught!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

he will never trust you. if he feels like this now it is unlikely he will change his tune, even if he forgives you it will probably haunt him, the thought of you being with another man, i think he loves you very much but you have hurt him too badly, give him time, and space and in a fortnight or so's time then speak to him again, if he still feels the same then it's time to move on.

Answer 10

The fault is yours. It's normally for him to feel like this and not to believe you. If you love him show him your love and give him some time to think about what had happen. Stop explaining him why, because this won't help, it will make things even worse.

Answer 11

babe im in the same situation here he says he,s over it but i can tell he,s not the thing now is he,s very paranoid at every think i do i carn,t go nowere with out being acussed but i keep tellin him thats no way to live in a relation ship i tell him i love him but he, unsure i supose we r gonna have to build the trust back up lets hope it works good luck.