What do you do if you see someon parenting their child, and it is againt everything you believe?

Question

I saw this lady yelling at her NEWBORN for about 20 minutes ..because she was crying... She carried on, and on, saying: "YOU DON"T LIKE ME, Why do you hate me?" STOP CRYING NOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!! WHEWWWW... JESUS CHRIST>>>STOP CRYING!!!!! I have to go HOME now, because your embarassing ME!"

DO you walk away? offer advice? or report her to the children and families department? What do YOU do in these types of situations?

I was in a pharmacy when I saw her doing this.

Hi robin, that is exactly what I did. I was upset at first, then I got over it and went up to the lady. It turns out the baby just needed to burp...and she was a new mom.

Jayne: Your never know what a person is capable of..definitely red flags set off.

bs nana...I wish I could have your attitude, but since I have that motherly instinct, I ended up offereing to burp the baby. She was overjoyed that i offered, but you know, it really could have went badly.

Answer 1

I saw a young mother try to put a 3 month old into a shoping basket so she could load her groceries... I asked if she needed help baging so she could tend too her little one... she said yes., so I did. Possibly asking her if she needed help might have been the right thing too do....

I do agree.... she is wako for yelling at a baby... imature mother.., but there really was nothing more you could or should have done...

Answer 2

You're getting some good answers.It's really hard because it IS none of our business, but you can't help but feeling for the child, but also not knowing how that mom got fromX to wherever she's at right now. Meaning did she just discover her husband was cheating on her , or did she just get notice that her mom was dying, or both and this is the ONE thing that could conceivably put her over the edge. ( I know, I know, when I am trying to put myself in anyone shoes I'm fairly melodramatic!) The one time I approached someone, It was a mom with a 3 yr old and a 7 yr old, the 7 yr old was getting into the back of the car and obviously did something that upset the 3 yr old who started crying and the mom just lost it! Started shouting obscenities, telling the 7 yr old how stupid she was it was awful! I wanted to call CPS, and place a citizen's arrest anything! I took a deep breath and went over to her and said really calmly "do you need a second to compose your thoughts? If you need to walk around the parking lot, where you can still see me, but get this out of your system, I'll sit with your girls, I'm pretty sure that whatever you're daughter did, it wasn't on purpose" And she broke down and wept uncontrollably, and said between sobs how grateful she was that this was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to her; she doesn't know what came over her, it had been really hot for the whole week, the kids had been home from school sick most of the week, she didn't have any backup resources, and she was missing work. Anyone one or two of those things could send someone over, I could totally get how she COULD lose it. There was a Denny's at this parking lot, we ended up going there and I treated her and the girls to sundaes and it was fun. She calls me every once in a while now and I've even babysat for her once. But realistically, it could have gone the other way too. I think realizing that you're seeing something where you don't know what went on prior to you seeing this and then assess the situation... Wow kind of a long answer.

Answer 3

One time I saw a young girl, about 3-4, with her father late at night at a 24 hour grocery store. The girl and her clothes were dirty and the father was carrying on a conversation with himself. Obviously psychotic. Other people noticed, too, and would look at the man the same as I did. Nobody did a thing and I regret to this day that I didn't call 911.

It seems like the problem is about how to judge the likelihood of harm to the child. A little girl with a psychotic father probably has a high likelihood of being hurt or neglected. In the situation you describe the mother probably has her own mental health issues but who knows if they are a temporary reaction to the stress of being a new mom or the sign of a permanent personality disorder. At the same time, it isn't clear that she is posing an immediate threat of abuse or neglect to the baby. But it so close. I mean it sounds like this woman could have done anything. I just picture her throwing the child to the ground and saying, "enough of you, you little brat."

I would say don't try to offer advice to someone who is so obviously out of control. If she was already embarrassed who knows how she would respond. Children and family services won't respond quickly but they will tell you to call the police if there is a threat of immediate harm. Seems like you need to watch the situation closely and if it looks like the parent is abusing the child or likely to do so call the police.

Answer 4

As long as she isn't getting physical I would leave it alone. Maybe she was just having a bad day. I have a 3 1/2 month old...I don't yell at him but there have been times that I have screamed in my pillow. Sometimes it is very frustrating to be a mother and some people lose their cool faster than others. Would you want someone to report you if you were just having a bad day? You have no way of knowing that the home life is bad and could just be a waste of time reporting her.

Answer 5

you know she coulda been tired and the baby coulda been sick or something, that's probably why she was crying, she was a young mother and probably didn't know how to handle the baby, you coulda ask her did she need some help? that is all i would of done, i wouldn't call anybody on her, she didn't abuse the baby, she just yell and made everything worse for the baby not realize that when you raise your voice it just make the baby scared

Answer 6

i'd just leave it alone, being a mom is really challenging, and being a new mom at that is very stressful. when your baby cries and you can't make it stop or you don't know what to do it's easy to lose your cool. maybe just offer to help or give a sympathetic smile but i wouldn't report her.

Answer 7

That is not normal behavior and she most likely has post partum depression. I would have alerted store management and had them call someone. Her baby could be in danger.

Answer 8

it would have been a fine opportunity to call protective services... to late now though AND hopefully you won't read about something the woman has done to the child on the front page of your newspaper any time soon...

Answer 9

do you have children? It really is a hassle to go anywhere with a baby...Offer her some help...Maybe she needs a break

Answer 10

i would report her , she seems out of control . atleast she should be checked out abit about her emotional problem and she need to be adviced how to handle it.

when she's with her baby alone nobody knows what happen