im jealous of my sister. what do i do?

Question

she has almost everything i want. she is popular she is artistic she is pretty she is smart she has good friends she is creative and she is way skinnier then i am. i know i sound sterotypical but it is true. the only thing i have going for me that she doesn't is my musical talent. i am also artistic and smart but im not popular and i dont have very good friends and im not that pretty and even though i've lost some weight i'll never be as thin as her and im not as creative. when people at school see me they say "hey ur jessica's sister". they never call me by my name. and when my parents praise her for her art or grades it makes me feel low. i hate the fact that i have to compete with her to get the attention of my own friends. it's really quite sad. i'ld never tell my sister this cuz we have become like friends but it kills me that she (in my eyes) is so much better then me. im not saying that i want to be better then her i just dont want to feel so low compared to her.

now that im starting to play a guitar she is asking me if she could borrow it too. i dont want her to cuz im afraid that she might be better at that also.

Answer 1

Jealousy is normal, but instead of focusing on her and her great features, why not improve yourself? You don't have to be ultra skinny to be beautiful. Create your own style. Make an extra effort to be a great musician. Try to make some good friends that don't know your sister. A good way to do this is to try outside of school. As for the artistic aspect why not try a few other art forms? There's writing too.

Answer 2

I am sorry you feel the way you do. It sounds like you have a lot going for you. I would suggest that you stop comparing yourself to your sister. No two people are alike. . .not even sisters!

So what is skinny anyway? Our entire society is growing larger and there is nothing wrong with that. You can dress and look cute what ever size you are. Be happy in your own skin!

And, what is popularity? There are many groups in school and who is to say one is better or more popular than the other? Popularity is in the eyes of the beholder. So, stop worshipping whatever groups your sister hangs out with. Work on getting new friends if yours are not very good, but don't worry about the so called popular thing.

Focus on your musical abilities. You are blessed with a talent many would die for. Concentrate on what you can do and not on your sister and what she is achieving. She may very well long for your musical talent.

Accept yourself, further develop your musical talent and find new interests as well, love your sister. . .be best friends, and move forward with your life. Stop comparing as there will always be those around you that you think are cuter, taller, shorter, skinnier, smarter, richer, luckier etc. etc. etc. Such feelings are normal and will happen throughout your life. Remember this though, you can be as happy as you want to be and decide to be. So, you go girl!!!

Answer 3

Your whole question is about comparing yourself to your sister.
That is where the problem is. Teachers and parents have a tendency to compare brothers and sisters, but you don't have to.
Other people at school call you Jessica's sister only because they knew her first. That always happens when you have a sibling that is more of a social butterfly.

Here are some things to think about:
Healthy counts more than skinny.
Smart doesn't go as far as friendly.
Popular is nice but is not as important as lots of other things.
Be yourself and be the best you can be. Don't compete with others, compete only with yourself.
Give more love to parents and sister. Feel good for her when she does well because her achievements do not reflect poorly on you.
Enjoy, love and appreciate the friends you have.
Musical talent is a wonderful thing to have.
None of these thoughts are thoughts that compare you two.

So most of all, stop comparing yourself to your sister. You can't be her and she can't be you.

Answer 4

Stop comparing your own accomplishments with those of your sister. Be happy for your sister, that she has what she does, as it seems that you are. Concentrate on your musical talent, losing the weight you want to lose ( but never compare your weight loss to her size), and developing an interest in other people outside of your family. Everyone cannot be skinny and some very popular girls are heavy, depending on their personalities and the crowd they chose to be with. Learn to create your own favorite places to be, make friends with those who complement you and make you feel good about yourself. You don't need to be skinny to have fun. Talk to your parents and ask them for the support you need from them in your weight loss efforts. I am certain they love you no less than any of their other children. Remember that physical beauty ALWAYS disappears with age but inner beauty and an outgoing personality coupled with understanding and a loving disposition is everlasting and a powerful tool in winning and keeping friendships. Learn to love yourself- you have a special purpose or you would not be here. Best wishes.

Answer 5

I was in a similar situation with my cousin growing up - we lived very near each other and she was a year older than me and in the year above me in school - she was very popular and sporty and so people expected me to be just like her. I wasnt sporty at all, LOL!
The way I coped was the fact that while she was good at sports, I had talents in music and drama, so I made my own name in that.

I know how irritating it is to be known as "so-and-so's cousin/brother/sister" and even when the teachers called me by her name!!! The way I dealt with it was when someone said "You're Niamh's cousin, arent you?" I would reply along the lines of "Yeah, I am. Isnt she lucky?"

Try to remember that your sister is not deliberately making you jealous, and sooner or later people will notice that "Jessica's sister" is an incredible girl in her own right!!!

Answer 6

Be yourself. You are your own person, and the more you compare yourself to her, the harder it is be happy about being yourself.

Don't worry about what your sister can do better than you - concentrate one what you do AND enjoy doing. If it happens to be something your sister can do as well - so what? As long as you enjoy it. Try doing it WITH your sister.

When someone says "oh, you're Jessica's sister", just smile sweetly at them and say "yes, and my name is....." or just say your name. Eventually they'll get that you have your own name.

There may be things about your life that your sister is jealous of - remember that any time you start to get down on yourself.

If you don't like your existing friends, find ones you do like. Popularity can actually be quite cruel - sometimes you can be a lot happier with 2-3 good friends.

Be nice to everyone, and they'll be nice to you.

And finally, the happier you can be with yourself, the more comfortable you'll be with your friends and your sister.

Answer 7

That's sucks doesn't it. This is more common than you think. What you have to do it just try not to compare yourself with your sister because that will just make you feel bad. Just accept the fact that you are both different people. Try and focus on your strengths. Find stuff that you are good at and reinforce them/build on them. Try new hobbies. Let your parents know how you feel and let them know that you feel left out. Don't feel bad about yourself. I know you probably mean well but sometimes in life it's the "underdog" who usually end up being more successful and happier in the end because you don't have to rely on popularity, beauty or superficial things to make you. Learn to love yourself for who you are. Keep your head up!

Answer 8

just try to stay positive and be happy 4 her and you have to look deep down in side of yourself and lean how to be confident and believe that u r pretty and have the attitude that u can do anything and just go 4 it and who cares if your not that creative everyone have different gifts and talents and u have music so just have confident's and love your sis and even talk to her about it and ask her 4 some advice to see if she can help u get batter friends. So yeah good luck with everything and GOD BLESS

Answer 9

What you are feeling is common. Try turning your feelings into a positive force that helps you improve your musical talent, look for opportunity to perform it. Try jogging or working out everyday, exercising will help you feel better. Express yourself by writing poems, share them with others. You don't have to be the pretty smart girl to have friends, be yourself. Life is unfair, when you feel hurt or jealous shake it off and do your musical thing. People will flock to you when they feel the passion from your music.

Answer 10

Don't feel that way, because everyone is special in their own way, you don't need to be skinny to be popular, is a matter of personality, you need to develop your artistic skills you said your good at singing you can improve and be successful in your own skin, just be who you are don't try to be your sister and people is going to recognize you as who you are no whose sister you are, and don't ever think that you are lower than somebody else because you can be anything that you want, but first of all you have to take what you have and make it work, don't see what others have and work with that, is whitin you.
you can do it ...