I have a coworker who I am friends with. She has been making some ridiculously leading comments of a sexual nature lately. Even a text message that talks about how she likes "checking me out." I would never do anything with someone who is married, but engagement is different. I would think that it would be a failure of commitment on her part- not mine. Right?
2006-07-26 18:45:23 · 28 answers · asked by Roger S M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She is a cheater, and you would become one as well, don't do it.
If she does that to her fiance, she'll do it to you once she has you whipped.
2006-07-26 18:49:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Married or engaged represents a commitment. Even a pledge to exclusively date is a commitment. If you go for someone who has committed to someone else, you are violating a boundary. That boundary is stepping between two people in a relationship.
If you don't know there is a boundary there (i.e. you didn't know she was engaged), you are doing nothing wrong but they are.
The way you know whether something is right or wrong is to put yourself in her shoes AND his shoes. At either point, if you would feel wronged or that you are wronging someone else, that is a clue.
You are right that the failure of commitment is on her part but the boundary violation is on your part. Be a man and tell her that if she is interested that's great, dump the fiance and you'll be happy to rock her world. Be wary of a relationship with someone like that though, she's not strong on respecting boundaries.
2006-07-27 02:04:16 · answer #2 · answered by blue_eyed_soccer_player 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think that she might be alittle unsure of herself and maybe if she even is ready to be married?
It's not a question on if she loves her fiance or not. It is now a question if she wants to give up the cat and mouse game of the single life.
You be so close as a co-worker is pretty secure for her as far as the fiance not finding out..
That is the reason behind the text messaging!
I think that she is looking to you and your reaction to let her know what to do here!
Such as if you ignore her then she will most likely think that the single life fun is over and she might as well get married.
If you entertain her idea of have a little behind the back fling, then she might see some more fun to be had outside of marriage.
Timothy
2006-07-27 02:14:48 · answer #3 · answered by Timothy S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Engagement is different??? Time to check on those morals of yours. She's a fool but we're talking about you. Find someone else in the office. And were serious about this question? I think you already knew the answer.
2006-07-27 01:49:56 · answer #4 · answered by bigjoe760 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOT!!! She is testing the waters, making sure she is doing something right in her life. It's totally wrong on her part. But if you engage in it, it's also yours!! This person is scared and maybe even trying to figure out if this is it for her. This person must be immature and has to be under the age of 30, with no respect for herself or partner. Please look away and act your age. Don't give in and don't give up on finding your own person to love.......
2006-07-27 01:52:14 · answer #5 · answered by chana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, engagement is still a commitment. I have a feeling if she doesn't score with you, it will definitely be with someone else. What does your gut tell you?
2006-07-27 13:55:16 · answer #6 · answered by CTMEDS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I think that it would be the same thing. If she doesn't want to get married anymore, then she should be honest enough to break up with her fiancee first.
You don't want an angry jilted boyfriend coming over to your house, dude.
2006-07-27 01:49:23 · answer #7 · answered by Randy G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not your responsibility to make sure she is faithful. It's her's. However, any time you enter into a situation where you are the "third person" in a relationship, be prepared for trouble.
2006-07-27 01:49:14 · answer #8 · answered by dante_cubit_3000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You think?! But if she's stupid enough to text you, then she's probably going to get divorced soon anyway. Might as well break up the marriage now, right?
2006-07-27 01:47:50 · answer #9 · answered by Bliss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's mostly her fault, since she is the one that's engaged. But that doesn't make it right to go after her.
2006-07-27 01:50:31 · answer #10 · answered by Stranger in a Strangeland 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its a tough one, in many customs being engaged is just as being married, but I dont think that meking out as long as there is no sexual contact, should be sheating, but I would not do it.
2006-07-27 01:48:29 · answer #11 · answered by pay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋