my 8 yr old won't listen and does dangerous things that could get him hurt. not accepting when he's done wrong

Question

My 8 year old son since born has always been an emotional person. He cries at the drop of a hat or can be excessively happy the next. He demands he gets his way and has devised games we are all now getting smart to in order to get his way. He lies to the other members in the family about things that aren't true. He tries to cause as many fights as he can amongst the family just to see us fight. When we tell him no he cries, and throws a fit. Then either hurts his sibling or scratches, pinches, or bites at himself. I have tried time out, tried the spending time with him alone to do something special, I have tried to explain to him that things he does isn't nice. He tells me he doesn't know why he does it but he knew he wasn't suppose to do it but says he wanted to do it anyway. He doesn't think anyone should tell him no. He hurts the family's pets and thinks it is funny to watch them fight each other. He even puts himself in time out when he does something. How can I help him

Answer 1

I soo have been in your shoes. My oldest child was a text book "normal" kid still is to a extent at 11. but my now 8 1/2 year old has been like yours from day one. My husband and i arent overly strict but we have always made it known what we will tolerate and what we wont. He just always seemed to bend over backward to defy it.
We lived on teh second floor of our building and we had wooden stairs coming down from our condo to the parking lot. He jumped over the rail about halfway down. His reasoning was "I wanted to see what would happen" then when the big bush caught him and scratched him up he didnt care he doesnt seem to care about pain if it isnt inflicted by a sibling. So we took him in for counseling. Well 2 years later he has been balanced out on medication and i was a HUGE anti medicating my kids person prior. But he is adhd and bipolar. They are now wondering he is he has ODD also which is oppositional Defiance disorder.
I think that talking to someone couldnt hurt and if nothing else some medical guidance is always helpful. I really hope this helps some..

Answer 2

You have to get stern. From your statements, it sounds as if you have allowed him to get away with way to much. Time out was invented by bleeding hearts. Let's face it, look at the world today, it doesn't work. The first thing I would do is remove everything from his room but his bed and sheets and his clothes. Let him earn it back. He won't die without it. And there is nothing wrong with a good spanking. There is a complete difference in beating your child and a good swat on the butt. If you don't take drastic measures now, you need to get familiar with the legal system and get directions to your local police station, you will be seeing him there.

Answer 3

You might not want to hear this but here goes have you ever talked to your Family Doctor? You might even try a School Counseler of the School Psychiatrist. If they cannot help you they at least should beable to help you find what will. (My sons school Psychiatrist helped me with my 9 years old sons imagery friends for the last 3 years they have multiplied.)

Answer 4

I would try family counseling or even individual therapy for him. Talking to a professional would give you better methods and insight to deal with this issue. But please try to resolve these issues without medication if at all possible. Too often now a days children with behavior issues are put on mood altering drugs, which never solve the problems, just suppress them.

Answer 5

Well, he's 8, and you've let him get away with murder up until now. It's not going to be a quick fix, but you really need to enact real and consistent punishment for wrongdoing. I suggest family counseling immediately. If you let this go much longer, it sounds like he's going to turn into a very dangerous adult.

Answer 6

I used to be that way. Actualy thats how most childeren experss depression. I think you should talk to him and ask him calmy why hes doing what hes doing, Kids understand much more than most peole think they do. usualy when kids misbehave like that its because of depression or bi-polar. Im not saying that your child is bi-polar or has depression; But it is somthing to look into.
I was almost exactly the same when i was his age.My mother thought i was just a bad kid but later in life it turned out that i had depression and i used to cut myself. I do think you should take him to see sombody.

Answer 7

counseling for everyone in the family! it's amazing that 8 whole years have gone by and you and spouse (i assume) can not find any way to work with your kid. Have you ever looked into parent training?

Answer 8

take things away that he enjoys and use them as insentives for good behavior. Everytime he does a good job listening or getting along with others he gets one of his insentives

Answer 9

Change from a little. Give hime a prize when he do the right thing.

Answer 10

put some holy water on him