i'm freaking 22 years old and my parents live 300 miles away from me. i am completely independent (financially) and i am about to graduate college and start my career and my life. but my parents still keep me out of the loop on family affairs and act like i'm still a little kid. my cousin, who lives 5 miles from them and has a daughter my age, has to keep me in the loop on stuff that's going on, and none of it is really that big of a deal!!!!!! do i talk to them? do i just let it go and keep acting like i'm oblivious to what's going on!? help!!
i'm about to rip my hair out......
2006-07-26 18:33:31 · 14 answers · asked by DFA79 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think you should start keeping secrets from them. An eye for an eye.
2006-07-26 18:37:15 · answer #1 · answered by Touting Rain 1 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Don't over work yourself over them, This same thing happen to me when I left home to live abroad when I was young, It didn't take long till things occurred after a while you just like me the stranger in house was even when you came back home. They treat you like the little kid, well to be very honest your parents are the ones hiding. There were things and questions to be asked they'll give a fag answer or so much talk or writing that you lost them in conversation. When they ask ''you'' for advice they're take your request and ask another person for an answer. Situations go by your daily routine and some how or another they get disturbing after a while the one with the weak feelings starts to notice that you are missing and ends up to start promising you the world. ''Parental guilt complex.'' Don't go for it, its a trick of their's which is there way of having you to get dragged again into a wasteful energy with them, with my experience is that this has ''No family quality values'' what so ever even if your cousin lives 5 miles away after sometime she too will fade away in the course of time. If you ever receive gifts that's because they are guilty of there actions, in the long run there is no gain or progress in there existence. In my stay abroad my parents had separated which I didn't find out later, I being an adult and there ofspring my mother didn't want to break the the bad news to me. I tell you it cost me plenty of Kleneex tissues when later I heard that they divorced. Months had gone by then she finally broke the news here too. But personally in a letter. I think after awhile I've had it difficult. But before separation and divorce I've been 2ice back home and after a few days I didn't feel home at all I made a new beginning else where and there was I meant to stay.
2006-07-27 03:16:02 · answer #2 · answered by Carmen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are your parents mad for leaving them. Maybe so. and so if you wanted to be independent that is what they are doing to you. Let them know how you feel. Tell them to keep you informed on what is going on over there. It will make you feel closer to them.
2006-07-27 01:40:32 · answer #3 · answered by Ronika 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask them questions about what's going on in their lives. if they still leave you out of the loop tell them how you feel. they probably have no idea they are doing it.
2006-07-27 01:39:02 · answer #4 · answered by gonetotallymad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they're just not that communicative. Have you tried asking them specific questions? They may not even know that they're doing it.
Don't listen to these people. Don't make a big scene of out it.
2006-07-27 01:37:41 · answer #5 · answered by s1rkull 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd talk to them in the most sincere and blunt way possible but i'd also start working on my self esteem and self respect to get beyond the childish need for my parent's approval or acceptance. you might also investigate codependency to see if they can help you get your power back and cut your unaccepting parents loose.
2006-07-27 02:21:51 · answer #6 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you need to talk to them, preferably when you are face to face. Tell them that it is embarrassing and hurtful to have to hear things second hand instead of directly from them. Ask them if they can please tell you what's going on from now on. Maybe they are trying to protect you from bad news.
2006-07-27 01:37:41 · answer #7 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to them. Sometimes, people don't realize how things they do effect on other people, so maybe it's the same with your parents.
Good luck.
2006-07-27 01:46:42 · answer #8 · answered by Alice_d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm 38, and we call my mom the queen of denial. she never tells us anything, and everthing is always o.k., or i really don't know, etc. yes, it sucks, but that's just the way it is,a nd you just have to accept the way your family is, it's nothing against you
2006-07-27 02:28:51 · answer #9 · answered by angel d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd say pay them a surprise visit. lol...talk to them..tell them how u feel. they'll understand...u're 22.
2006-07-27 01:37:17 · answer #10 · answered by Carmen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋