I am totally stressed out @ office and home .?

Question

And my 3 yrd old son @ at times(most of the times) is also throwing tantrums and end up spanking him or scolding him ..but @ the end of the day feel so guilty and ashamed that i cry and say sorry to him .He also cuddles up to me.But i feel so bad thinking of the times i have not been able to handle him well.Is it normal to feel like this .To top it all my husband is also away from home for sometime now officially.Help !

Answer 1

You describe such a common situation. Most parents don't want to talk about it for fear of being judged. You sound completely normal but really stressed out. Do you think you can name the six things that cause the most stress in your life? Write them down and then think about anyway each one can be reduced or eliminated. For example, is your boss a jerk? Is it possible to transfer to another position that would be less stressful? Are there some things on the list that you know are only temporary? Maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel? What are your expectations at home? Does the house have to be really clean and all the laundry done before you can relax? Maybe you put too much pressure on yourself and can lighten up with a few things? Do you have nagging guilt or anxiety that saps your energy? Try to identify why you have those feelings and, if possible, put them aside to save your emotional energy. Is there someone who can be with your son for a few hours a week so you have a set time to just get away and send everything to hell each week. Most places have play groups advertised and it can be wonderful to talk with other parents and watch the children play together. There are usually parenting support groups, also, where parents can share the ups and downs of being a parent. Alot of times the education programmer at a local hospital can direct you to active groups. Also, if you really think you are at your breaking point you should consider calling a local community mental health center - they are there for the health of the whole community, not just people who have mental disorders. They can direct you to someone who can help.

The fact that your reaching out shows that you have good judgment. Don't be too hard on yourself, it is a difficult but common situation.

Answer 2

Before spanking walk away and count to 10. Talk to your doctor about possibly going on anti-anxiety medication to help you cope. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. See if you can get someone to watch your son for the weekend...even if you can't go anywhere you need a break. Your son may be having tantrums due to your husband not being home and it is his way of seeking attention. My son's tantrum have gotten worse since my husband has been working more hours, but just let him know that tantrums will not be tolerated. I highly recommend the Book Super Nanny, by Jo Frost...from the ABC show. It has a lot of tricks & Tips on how to get children to behave without yelling or spanking.

Answer 3

Hi you should learn to cope your stress and enjoying doing things

My advice will be you should spend more time with you kid because he need your attention that is why your child throwing tantrums. learn to do something which both will enjoy together
Further more he will not understand your problem.

At work when you are stressed please do some minor exercise or take a short break by walking.
You also learn to meditate or do yoga exercise this will help you

Answer 4

Being a women i can understand ur problem but ur 3 yr old cannot and moreover what is his fault in ur work probs and home chores..so pls calm down.think positivly and say it to urself that u can handle this..
Be;live me only a women can do everything well at the same time handle, work , kids, home and her own life.Men cannot so pls do loose it up.

Answer 5

Check out (http://www.reducingstress.net ) there is a lot of great articles and expert advice on the subject there.