dark secret needs help?

Question

hey everyone, how do i tell my mother i was sexually abused when i was 5-8 by 3 different peope ???? im afraid of her response because i dont want it to be all emotional or anything but knowing my mother she'll yell and get mad at me


P.S, im only 13 so its not like i could just leave or anything

Answer 1

Oh my...that is a dark secret. Well, i cant promise things will go well, becuase she will get upset. Any mother will be upset that her child was sexually abused, especially when its more than one person. But you need to get things out in the open instead of hiding them, becuase they will eat at you from the indside. Just make sure she is relaxed when you tell her, warn her that you are about to tell her something very bad and tell her to try not to be angry, and tell the truth. Things may seem bad at first, but you gotta get it out! Its very important. In years or months from now you will be very happy you got it out. Dont wait any longer to do it, just get it out. I mean if it really doesnt bother you and you just wanna forget it, she doesnt really have to know. I mean its not like it just happened. But i think she needs to know, and you guys should report it and try to do something about the sick pervs who did it. hope my info helps and good luck. Remember one thing though, "It's always darkest...just before dawn..."

Answer 2

God Bless You katelen *, first may I say how very sorry I am that this happened to You. You are a beautiful Child of God, and this should have never happened to You, and it is not Your fault.

My guess is that Your home life was not very secure, and that is why it happened for three years, and by three People. And perhaps one or more were boyfriends, or husband/husband's of Your Mom's, and maybe that is why She might be mad. It is so hard for Me to understand a Mother getting mad at Their baby girl being violated. If You are worried at Her response, and or anger towards You, you need to get a Family member that Your Mom will respect and act respectfully in front of, and then both of You sit down and talk to Her. You need to get some counseling very soon, and if You are not comfortable with the first Person, keep searching until You find Someone You feel safe with. You have to shine light into the darkness. If You are silent the Perpetrators are free to continue to abuse others, and may very well have already done so. Surround Yourself with strong, loving, either Family Members, or School Counselors, or even the Police if need be. These People, you didn't say Men, need to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the Law. Be Strong, make sure everything is planned, surround Yourself with good People, and tell Her. I will Pray for You. God Bless Sweetie........

Answer 3

If you think she will get mad, then first go to another adult: a counselor at school, someone from church, or the parent of a friend. Having someone on your side always makes it easier to deliver news like this.

Remember, no matter what your mom says, this is NOT your fault. She may be upset, but it will most likely be because she couldn't or didn't protect you. Sometimes it just doesn't come out in the right way. You are a very strong person and I will pray for you and wish you all the best. Good luck with your mom.

Answer 4

just tell her and b straight about it, make sure the two of u r alone and tell her u have something 2 say, and tell her if she reacts in a way u r uncomfortable with then u r going 2 need 2 leave the house 4 a while and b alone and u and she will finnish talking about it when u get back and she is a bit more calm. tell her what u have 2 say and im sure your wrong though, she wont yell or anything, there will b shock and try 2 b paitent with her, im sure she will feel she failed as a mother and it will b as tough 4 her as it is 4 u.
good luck. and tell her soon, get on the road 2 healing and it will probably bring u and she closer.

Answer 5

Well...first you need to be absolutely sure that it did happen because those are serious accusations. Secondly, I am not sure if the statute of limitations would apply in this situation or not, but if you really were sexually abused you need to tell your mother.

Talking about it with your mother, and seeing if anything can be done to the people who abused you would help to give you and your family some closure.

It may also help keep someone else from going through the same thing you did.

I do not believe she will get mad at you.

Answer 6

Write in a letter that is what I did because I was afraid of how my mom would take it. I wrote the letter and then when I was away I had her read it then after I got back we talked about it and then she asked want I whated to do at the time I just whated to forget it but after I turned 16 (it happened by 2 different people at the time I was 6 to 9 years old) I started having nightmares about what had happen and I lived a few blocks away from The Child Abuse Prevention Center so I went there and had a very long talk with the one of the workers there and after we talked I decided I wanted it to be on the record of one still living. (the other one had drowned two years after the abuse) I had also told my best friend at the time and she is the one that told me to write it all down and that is want worked for me..you might find a aunt or cousin to talk to and then have them help you to talk to your mom good luck and I am going to keep you in my prayers..

Answer 7

Look at it this way. You can tell total strangers about what happened. But you can't tell the woman who loves you the most?

I'm not one to judge, because I never told my mother even half the things that ever happened to me. I'm 30 years old, and I still don't tell my mother my deepest darkest secrets. But I will tell you this...It's not good for you to keep it inside. Whether you feel your mom will yell at you or not, I assure you she won't. Parents are kind of funny when it comes to their children. She might not want to accept the idea of what happened. She will need time to process the idea. It's a very horrible thing that NO mother wants to deal with. Denial and anger are the first stages. If the two of you can weather through that, the next stages just might bring you closer together.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Maybe the best thing would be to talk to your school counselor and have a meeting with you and her and your mom and have her explain things to your mom. That way - your mom will react a little different. I don't know your relationship or your family - but if mom knows a 3rd party is involved - she will HAVE to behave herself. I can't imagine a mom getting mad - but I know it happens - so best to have someone else in the room too - someone you trust. that's "on your side"... but you DO need to say something because these people will keep doing it to other people and it's WRONG and maybe it will get you a little help so you don't go through life thinking you did something wrong. You MUST understand that this was NOT your fault; you did nothing wrong and what these people did was illegal.

Answer 9

Ok if she yells it's because she's mad you didn't say something earlier and she wishes she could kill the people involved but now when I was younger I had an episode and I never thought it was all that so I just kept it to myself but now if you were hurt or if they are back to threaten you by all means tell her now and say I know your going to get mad but try not to.
She won't be mad at you she will be scared for you and we all know that if your going to tell then do so right away so they can catch the SON OF A B**** before he get's away that's all but if you want to talk more before you do tell her just click my pic then e mail me and I'll try to help more you see I have 9 kids and I know it's scary so I hope I helped

Answer 10

You should tell her. She may get mad and seem mad at you, but she is your mother and she loves you. It's not you that she will be mad at. It's the situation and the people who hurt you. This is something that you need to get out so you can get through it and have a normal life. You can't just let something like this go or it will eat at you until it drives you crazy. Also, you need to say something before those people do it to someone else. Please tell your mom, or another adult that you trust. Someone has to know.

Answer 11

Write her a letter. That's kind of what I did with my mom. She read it when I wasn't there and then we talked later. A real mom will never ever get mad at you for something like that. Rule #1. Repeat it over and over: "It is not your fault." A child 5-8 has no fault in what adults do to them. I used to blame myself, but I see now that it wasn't my fault. Seriously, you need help and your parents will help you. If after telling and they do nothing, call the police on your own. It's 911 and they will respond. Child Protective Services can help protect you. That is what they do.