I have graduated from high school and he has just left for 12wks of marine boot camp training. We have been through good, bad, happy and sad, pain, tears, and sweat in the 4 yrs we've been together. But neither one of us could have grown to be what we are today without each other. He feels he needs to step up and settle down now he knows he can provide for a family physically, mentally, and fiancally. When he comes home from boot camp he wants to marry me so I can live one base with him and go to college together. We have beaten statics neither one of us smoke, drink, have a dieaseor children are both ready to committ to one another despite the. I come from a family of well respected men and wo'men who will say that it's too son for such a big step. No one in his family things there is a reason for us not to take this step. Him and I both believe that we have to live for ourselves; not to please everyone surrounding us wether they have positive or negative feedback.What do think???
2006-07-26 17:47:54 · 28 answers · asked by Chipmunk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
doll do u believe to know someone it takes a few seconds yup sometimes it takes a whole lifetime?????? if u want my option yes get married. four years u get to know him u liked him, u went bad and good times together...in ur hearts promise that the rest of ur lives u are not gonna change...and dear if things dont work out after marriage then dont feel u were too young to marry because u lived for that moment where u wont regret saying " i didnt give it a shot" i thing best would marry rather then worrying what gonna happen...get ur self upright make things happen dont wait things to happen to u...got it
2006-07-26 18:28:46 · answer #1 · answered by Vinny C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, you should wait. You are both so young. I know you said that you guys have been through a lot together, but there is still so much more you both will go through. I believe people should be sure of who they are before getting married, and at 18, there is no way you know that. I am 31 and I'm completely different from when I was 18. But, I also think you have a very good head on your shoulders. It sounds like you both really have your stuff together. There aren't many people your age that don't go out drinking. Are you going to college? Have you figured out what you want to "be"? If it's something that you guys are comfortable with, you should move in together and just be engaged for a little while, like a year or two. It will give you more time to plan your wedding and to get to know each other on a different level. I did live with someone when I was about 22, and I decided he was not the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But at one time I thought he was the "one". Just don't wake up one day and regret missing out on stuff because you married so young. Good luck with whatever you do and remember to always enjoy life.
2006-07-27 04:40:00 · answer #2 · answered by SweetPea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until he comes back from boot camp. Sometimes guys really change after that. Also if you truely feel in your heart that you are ready to be with the same person for the rest of your life (which is a scary thing if you really really think about it) then go a head and do it. It is a good thing that you are both talking about it though. Your family may not understand because they want different things for you. But you need to remind them that it is your life not theirs. I was almost done with college when I got married. My parents wanted me to finish school before I got married but I didn't. Afterwards they would bug me every week about school finally I had to tell them to stop, I will do it when I want and it is my life not theirs. Eventually they will understand why you are doing this so young. The down side is that you will never get the chance to live in a dorm, date other people, or experience life on your own. I suggest that you wait at least a year and you get your own apartment so that you can see what it is like to be on your own. If your relationship is that strong it will last. I am so glad that I at least had my own apartment for one year, learned to pay my bills on my own, before I got married. There is a lot to say for learning to do that first. Take your time, you both know you want each other but you both can't possibly know what you want out of life this early on.
2006-07-27 00:58:26 · answer #3 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There must be a reason your family is not on board for this idea. They probably feel you are too young. I am inclined to agree. I even think most people who marry at 21 are too young. Most people are seriously not ready until at least age 25. I am getting married next year when I turn 33.
Don't marry just so you can live on the base. That's not a sufficient reason. If this is life-long love like you say it is, then the relationship will last through college and you can think about marriage after.
You don't want to rush this and end up divorced.
2006-07-27 09:32:13 · answer #4 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly? You're too young, and you need to take care of and develop yourself first before you take such a big step. If you guys both love each other so much, distance or living in separate households shouldn't matter.
If you can, at least wait until you finish your college degree (or even a vocational course). Let's just say that women who have earned their own keep, who can handle their own lives, are more capable of taking care of a family. Think about being a role model to a younger female sibling, cousin, neice, or a soon-to-be daughter.
It's wonderful that through it all, you guys have been able to rely on each other. But avoid being each other's emotional crutch, rather, the both of you should learn to be whole/complete persons on your own.
Many people say that love can't wait. But later on realize that it can and could because love wouldn't go away if it's heartfelt and true.
Take care, and may you be well guided in your decision.
2006-07-26 18:00:37 · answer #5 · answered by milky_mooo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think, baby, think... it will be best for you to think. He's joining the armed forces. Most likely, he'll get stationed overseas, much to your dismay should you marry him ang be left alone in your home at the base. It's a good thing taht you're thinking of studying while he's working, but what if you had kids? Family life isnt easy. A military wife's life is much more difficult. Talk to your fiancee and give yourself another 2 years and think it through. By then, you'll be a lot mature and able to decide what you really want. Best of luck for the both of you.
2006-07-26 20:42:27 · answer #6 · answered by Jinky Winky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen the best thing to do is see how this military thing works out which if he plans on staying in could be good but wait on the kids a little not much but a little if the military life suits you then I say (as a father of 9) why not just make sure that the military thing is what you want because now your relationship is going to change dramatically and there is nothing worse than finding out it's what you don't want and your 6 mo. preagnant , get it , got it. and good luck what ever you decide at least this hippie has got your back and I'm down with what ever you decide so Peace!
2006-07-26 17:56:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely do what you think is right for you. From personal experience, though I would wait a few more years. Yes, you have been through and done a lot. But your mind frame now at 18 will change drastically even by the time you are 22. If you can, give it a little more time. If not, then I wish you all the luck and hapiness!
2006-07-27 03:37:27 · answer #8 · answered by lauraenic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok obviously you are looking for a serious answer so that is what i'll give you. if you've been together for 4 years and truly love each other and your both adults and you feel that your ready for the commitment then i say go for it! dont let anyone tell you what is best for you but you. your family will either have to support you or dont but either way you shouldnt miss out on life and love if its what you truly want. they say there is no reason? well how about love? love is the best reason. and you may not get the opporunity if you wait. good luck and i wish you all the happiness!
2006-07-26 17:55:14 · answer #9 · answered by Joshy's baby girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depands on what YOU think. Not anyone else. If you really LOVE this guy and feel you are ready then go for it. If you dont want to,even the littleist bit then wait. Youre young Lol I am to.I do belive people can fall in love at any age but somtimes arent ready for the commitment of marrage. Being as young as you are i personaly would say enjoy life and dont tie yourself down with that kind of commitment.But it is your choice. (if you had to ask other people then you probaly arent shure)
2006-07-26 18:11:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋