Why am I unhappy?

Question

I don't know why I am unhappy. I have a great family, an awesome boyfriend, my schooling is okay; I'm surrounded by love, yet I feel empty, somewhat emotionless. It's not quite unhappiness, it's more like I just don't feel happy. It's odd. I have every reason to be happy. I don't know what to do, and I don't want to see a psychologist/psychiatrist. I keep wondering what my place is, what my purpose is. I wonder who I am, essentially. I sometimes wonder what the point is in living? I'm not suicidal. Is this normal for a high-school girl? Can anyone help me please?

Answer 1

To tell you the truth (and take heart, this is the first serious answer I've ever posted on here) I understand where you're coming from. Something in your life just isn't right for you. I understand this as I had a similar issue when I was in high school and another recently. Many psychiatrists will claim a lack of seratonin (sp?) will cause this, and I have no doubts it can, but I know when I felt like this I had something missing in my life.
Back then I had a great family, but felt like I didn't deserve someone special (gf) in my life. For some odd reason my mind put girls high on a pedistal and myself only able to be their friend. My correction in life was pretty obvious, coming to the realization that girls were people all the same and so started the happiest 4 years of my life with my now ex-gf Melissa. The catalyst in my life, though, was not a simple change of mind. My catalyst was the military and forcing myself to get away from downer friends. Once I did this I became more self-aware and was able to shine in ways I couldn't before. I then realized that I made that girl the happiest in the world for those 4 years. Sadly we broke up (not going into details here) but are still friends. She's married now.
The second time in my life was with my recent ex-gf, Holley. Although a wonderful person, I found that I needed to date around. Staying with one girl was great, but I felt it was a necessity. When we broke up I got the chance to live the life I always wanted to, single and free. After a couple of months the shimmer wore down and now I feel I'm actually ready for a more serious, and hopefully lifetime, relationship.
I hope my lengthy reply helps you some, I somewhat understand what you're going through. Right now I'm in a period similar to that. I have a great job, good GPA in college and am pursuing a PhD, something that none of my family has ever recieved. I know what is missing in my life and can (and will) correct it, but its not until you really look into yourself that you can decide this. If you wanna talk, my Myspace is c4vetteguy. Good luck with this.
- Michael

Answer 2

Oooh man it has to be normal or else I don't know what's been wrong with me my whole life. I wonder the same exact thing all the time becuase I have a lot of great things in my life too. It's only been in the past few months of my life that I've stopped feeling a depression that I have felt all through high school and middle school and some of elementary school. It's hard to reach that contentment and I think that's just part of being human. That feeling of being incomplete. For me, life is just getting better and better as I let it. I Think it will for you too. Going by the advice that I have gotten from many others, it's greater later. Just hang in there and I can almost promise to you, a complete stranger, that you're going to find that contentment and happiness that you're looking for. Just keep living the best you can until then.

Answer 3

This is normal, not only for high school age, but off and on during life. Just try to remember that everything in life changes, and the way you are feeling right now is temporary, eventually you'll feel better. However, it is NOT healthy if this feeling goes on and on for extended periods of time (months and months.) If that happens, then you do need to try some kind of therapy, whether psychological or simply studying some philosophies that have to do with spiritual development. Those kinds of things will help.

Answer 4

Could be a lot of things - hormones, chemical imbalance, maybe you know deep inside your boyfriend isn't as great as he thinks he is.

What you need to do is explore the world around you and get happy with yourself before you can share yourself with others.

No doubt the religious clowns will be along any minute now, encouraging you to join in their world of delusion, but resist the temptation. That's the weak and easy way out. Filling your head with falsehoods and imaginary promises of an afterlife filled with whatever they have to offer won't help.

Free your mind. Be a a breathing, living person on planet earth. Chuckle at the fact that we're just a bunch of evolved monkey clinging precariously to a big rock flying through outer space.

Be.

Answer 5

Well, the feeling of not being grounded, not knowing your place IS pretty common for people your age. I think it's part of growing up. But it affects some people more than others.

Seeing some sort of counselor really could help. I had some issues in Jr. High, and my folks got worried, and made me go to see a psychologist. He turned out to be a pretty cool guy. I never really talked to him about EVERYTHING that was bothering me, but he still was able to teach me some good ways to cope with things, and just work on finding my center, at least as far as finding a direction in life. After that it was easier to go talk to the guidance counselor at school when I started feeling really stressed about some part of school. My mom and dad tried, but sometimes it's hard to see how you can talk to them about stuff. I was lucky; my grandmother was a nurse; I had some really cool talks with her about sex that I would have been too embarrassed to have with my folks.

I hope this helps. If you're really set on not seeing anyone 'professional', at least try to find someone older you can trust to just talk about life and you're feelings. Just being able to talk about it can sometimes be enough to clear your mind an release some of the pent up anxiety.

Answer 6

Yes ur normal, sound a bit like me! I think the problem is you think to much, your probably like me, do u worry about little things? do u analyse everything? I think about all that stuff as well. why we are here, why live just to end up dying? etc etc. So I think that you should just try not to think so much just be glad you wake up everyday, have a great life and family, and just go out and do it, whatever it is, remember that ol song, "Dont Worry- Be Happy" so stop thinking and have a few drinks, it works for me. lol. But I really do believe I know what u mean, I've been there, if u ever need to ask anything give me a bell at, [e-mail] bye and smile,,,,:-)

Answer 7

In a word: Yes. During some point in our high-school years, we all fall into a melancolhy state, where we aimlessly wonder "what is our life's purpose".

Too much focus on finding answers to that one question WILL make you un-happy. Let go of that search and live life. Focus more on what you do enjoy doing--and do more of that.

Each day lived is one of discovery: both the good and bad.

However, in time (and it could be a while, too), the natural guide to our life's purpose comes upon us. Just be ready to see it and embrace such if it's a positive good reason (which it normally is).

Don't make yourself miserable now: live the fun care-free teen years of your life and savor each second. Because one day, you'll blow out your final teen candle and reach adulthood--where years later: you'll long to go back to those high-school days you can't return to.

Answer 8

I am sorry you feel unhappy. I understand what you are saying. I went through the same thing. Now, at 28, I still feel that way a lot. My problem is mostly hormonal. You may want to talk to your doctor about this. Your doctor may be able to do tests to check at your hormones and such. Do you start crying for absolutely no reason at all? That is what I do. I hope you can find someone/something to help. I know it is frustrating.

Answer 9

Yes, it's normal for a teenage girl to feel upset and not know why - chalk it up to hormones. But it's also normal for her to feel happy and not know why. So it's common to have frequent mood swings - but not to always feel terrible.

If you are always feeling unhappy, talk to your regular doctor. She may test you for bipolar, depression, and other extremely treatable conditions. If a pill is all it takes to feel better again, great.

However, if she reccommends seeing a therapist, please consider. You can just set up a few sessions - enough to talk and get a handle on your emotions. It doesn't have to be a huge commitment.

If you absolutely can't see a therapist, try expressing yourself otherwise - most people feel better afterwards. Writing is great for spilling your guts, and nobody has to see it but you. Or talk to someone you trust, or a telephone hotline. A great one is "Children of the Night" - it's technically a runaway hotline, but not exclusively. They'll talk to you 24 hrs. a day about anything - they're number is 1-800-551-1300. If they can't help you, they'll refer you to someone who can.

Hope I helped!

Answer 10

You are completely normal! You are just beginning your adult life & things are a bit overwhelming. Right now, you just need to relax & realize that you have plenty of time to get stuff taken care of! Place, purpose, reason for being are still a mystery to me & I am 27.

Your reason for living is to see what crazy sh1t you see happen the next day! Try to learn something new each day & have fun!

Last but not least, do not worry about what is next! Let it happen & go with the flow!