I have to make a speech for a wedding (I am best man)... It should be around 3 min. I have NO CLUE WHAT TO SAY

Question

Anyone know any place i can see examples... what would you say?

And i know im gonna get a bunch of this "just say it from your heart" ****... haha... I already know all that... But i dont know what to say...

Anyone have any ideas of what to say? How do I start and end? unfortunately i have not been to many weddings (as I am younger) so im not really sure what is appropriate (although im pretty sure i know whats innapropriate haha)

Any help is appreciated (except for the say from your heart, or I dont know what to say responses) ;-)

Thanks!

should i make a funny one... I kinda want to but am extremely scared of getting a dead crowd or dead silence...

Answer 1

I've done this, and I gotta tell you, it made me nervous. But I killed, so here are my quick and dirty tips:

1. Same tip I got from a friend before my wedding: Before you give your toast, have a drink. ONE drink. It'll loosen you up without screwing you up. (Unless you're an alcoholic or a minor, in which case I would never, ever condone drinking.)

2. Practice, practice, practice. No pressure, of course, but you'll have an audience. And if you're like me (i.e., not a confident public speaker), you need to be comfortable with your words -- or at least your outline -- to pull it off.

3. Fake your confidence. Project your voice. Stand up straight. If you look like you're enjoying yourself and confident, people will enjoy it with you and get into it.

4. Slightly embarrassing stories are ok, but always err on the side of discretion. You don't want to say anything out loud that will have the bride or her family having second thoughts about the groom.

4a. Nothing should be spoken about other women the groom has known. No way, no how. That day, other women do not exist!

5. If you want to get the audience on your side, a little self-deprecating humor is great. If you're going to tease the groom, lump yourself in. Example: I was best man to my best friend with whom I shared an apartment during grad school. I talked about the stupid stuff we did together. Like trying to save money by eating dinner at happy hour buffets. Like trying to dig a fire pit in our tiny backyard. A lot of "we" made the pokes of fun less pointed and more "laugh with me, not at me."

6. End on a sentimental note. Be funny throughout if you can, but bring down the house by going the other direction and getting serious and congratulating your friend and his new wife and wishing them a lifetime of happiness -- or some variation of that that starts with "No, but seriously..." will catch your audience off-guard, garner some "Awwwww's" and applause.

Another idea (and this takes a lot more of the pressure off) which is good for rehearsal dinners (but not so much the actual wedding receptions) is to do a quick slideshow and narrate it yourself. If you can get a projector and place to project, and have some great photos of the groom that you can essentially draft up some entertaining captions (that you read, not on the screen!), you can bring a multimedia bang to the event, and (here's the best part), everyone will be watching the screen, not you, so you can read off notecards. Either create it yourself in Powerpoint or iMovie, or work with a company that produces video photo montages, like:

http://www.bigmomentfilms.com

Whatever you do, have fun with it -- your friend and his new wife will appreciate your effort, whatever you do!

Answer 2

WHAT exactly to say? ugh, that depends on your general personality, your relationship to the groom and the bride, how formal the wedding will be, etc. But in general, the point is to "praise" the groom and offer congratulations on the wedding. Use humor, be gentle, be rated PG-13 (at the most), and if you have to think twice about sharing a story, don't.

I would start with a "I first met Bill... " or "when Bill told me he and Betty were engaged..." something nice and personal. I would end with a "toast" that is actually a well-wish for the couple. One of my favorites is "may the saddest days of your future be no darker than the happiest days of your past."

I think the best advice I can offer you is that you should write down your speech and give the speech from your paper. Notes or word for word - either way will help keep you on track and from rambling or saying something you might regret. Good luck!

Answer 3

Both of the above are good suggestions. You may want to add the changes you've seen in your Friends life since he met "bride", the new Mrs "Name" and how positive the changes have been.

I apologize in advance if this is insulting, but do not bring up old gf's, or the more embarrassing moments. Stick with how you felt when your friend made his announcement and how honored out were to be asked to be the BM. Then go into your wishes for the couples' future.

Good luck to you (and your freind) - You've got to be very special to have been asked to play such a role. Congratulations.

Answer 4

Exclusive Wedding Speeches For All - http://Speech.findpolo.com

Answer 5

I found two great speeches in Mercedes Lackey's book Owlsight. You might want to modify them a little bit.

Now you will no longer fear the storm, for you find shelter in each other.
Now the winter cannot harm you, for you warm each other with love.
Now when strength fails, you will be the wind to each other’s wings.
Now the darkness holds no danger, for you will be the light to each other’s path.
Now you will defy despair, for you will bring hope to each other’s heart.
Now there will be no more loneliness, for there will always be a hand reaching out to aid you when all seems darkest.
Where there were two paths, now there is one.
May your days together be long upon the earth, and each day blessed with joy in each other.


This bond, this joining, is not meant to be a fetter. A joining is a partnership, not two people becoming one. A joining is a partnership, not two people becoming one. Two minds cannot fuse, two souls cannot merge, two hearts cannot keep to the same time. If two are foolish enough to try this, one must overwhelm the other, and that is not love, nor is it compassion, nor responsibility. You are two who choose to walk the same path, to bridge the differences between you with love. You must remember and respect those differences and learn to understand them, for they are part of what made you come to love in the first place. Love is patient, love is willing to compromise—love is willing to admit it is wrong. There will be hard times; you must face them as bound warriors do, side by side, not using the weapon of your knowledge to tear at each other. There will be sadness as well as joy, and must support one another through the grief and sorrow. There will be pain—but pain shared is pain halved, as joy shared is joy doubled, and you each must sacrifice your own comfort to share the pain of the other. And yet, you must do all this and manage to keep each other from wrong actions, for a joining means that you also pledge to help one another at all times. You must lead each other by example. Guide and be willing to be guided. Being joined does not mean that you accept what is truly wrong, being joined means that you must strive that you both remain in the light and the right. You must not pledge yourselves thinking that there will be no strife between you. That is fantasy, for you are two and not one, and there will inevitably come conflict that it will be up to you to resolve. You must not pledge yourselves thinking that all will be well from this moment on. That is a dream, and dreamers must eventually wake. You must come to this joining fully ready, fully committed, and fully respectful of each other.

Answer 6

We have a lot of great tips for speaches for the Best Man, Groom, and parents on our website.

Here's to Susan and Mark. I've been waiting to come to their wedding for some time, since I introduced them two years ago. May their lives be full of happiness like we are all enjoying here today.

Here's to the happiness of the couple close to us all - Mark and Susan.

May you both live as long as you want, and may you never want as long as you live.

Here's to you both
a beautiful pair
on the eve (day)(beginning)
of your love affair.

May you always look forward with pleasure, and backward with no regrets.

Here's to the groom with bride so fair,
And here's to the bride with groom so rare!

Here's to the husband - and here's to the wife;
May they remain lovers for life.

May your wedding days be few and your anniversaries many.

To the newlyweds: May "for better or worse" be far better than worse

Answer 7

You can start with "I have known (groom) for (however long you've known him), and I think the best thing about him is (his sense of humor, love for his family, his dog, whatever)."

"I have known Bill for 7 years now, and I think the best thing about him is what a great friend he is. he's always there for me--or any of his friends--when they need him, and he's always there to lend a helping hand. (Insert funny story here.) I know that if Bill puts as much effort into his marriage as he does with the rest of his life, he and (Bride) will have an everlasting love."

Only you know the groom, and only you know him the best. It *does* have to come from your heart because you obviously can't lie. :) My best friend was the maid of honor at one of her friends' weddings, and she made a short biography of their time together when they were younger.

Answer 8

Well, maybe you got stage fright and feel uncomfortable speaking in public or just speaking in unfamiliar situations.

Just say something nice about the groom and his bride. Stick to that and you'll be a winner. Don't worry about the length of your speech...nobody cares about that, I'm sure.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Oh boy... I feel sorry for you......... LOL.. Well, thats not a big deal... Since u r chosen 2 b the best man, that means u r... So! U just stand up .. raise your glass.. smile and say what you feel.. i.e. I am happy 2 b here and b a part of my best friend's happiest day..(So he thinks but u can ignore that!!!!!!)... I wish you love and happiness.... and also may you have a smooth drive on the difficult and NOT SMOOTH AT ALL avenue of marriage...

Answer 10

A wedding, while being the ultimate celebration of love between two people, is also one of the most stressful experiences for all those involved - especially the best man. Not only does the poor chap have to organise the stag party, look after the rings and ensure that the groom is there on time, but he also has to prepare a speech for the wedding breakfast.
Writing a best man's speech is all about striking a balance - we all want to be funny and innovative, but if we try too hard we can end up with a speech that is offensive and clichéd. We asked the h2g2 Community for help and below is a wonderful entry that has been culled from their collective wisdom.

Lines
One of the most important things to remember is not to make unguarded comments about any afflictions suffered by family members. For example; try to avoid references to the fact that the bride has just had her wooden leg creosoted in order to avoid rotting while waterskiing on honeymoon. Or that her uncle - the dentist is like a rhino - thick-skinned, and charges a lot! You get the general idea.
Your speech is not etched in stone, so don't be afraid to incorporate events of the big day into your masterpiece. The following story is wise, witty and shows just how creative you can be:
My brother dropped his bride's ring during the ceremony. He was a student rugby player and I was a worker in a jeweller's. This was just after rugby union allowed professional players, so my opening line became:
'I see my brother chose wisely in picking a professional jeweller to be his best man, I just didn't realise he would need a professional rugby player to catch it.'

Another Researcher recalls this classic opening line:
This is the second time today I have stood up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand...
There is a growing trend for people to share the duties of best man and that includes the speech - while you may not be a great stand-up comedian, you may sparkle as one half of a comedy duo - as this account testifies:
I was joint best man for a wedding a year or so back and my co-best man and I cooked up a joint speech, with the pair of us doing sections, but supporting each other with comments flowing back and forth. Everyone there said it was a great speech and that the comedy was hilarious. I opened with the line 'The groom wanted a best man but couldn't find one, so he got two slightly good ones instead' - it brought the house down...

Advice
1) The most important piece of advice for any best man is not to get absolutely plastered before delivering your speech - it's not big, it's not clever and it really isn't attractive - honest.

2) The first wedding I went to was cringe-worthy as the best man was hammered and subsequently slurred his way through what was a mediocre speech, thinking he was hilarious, ad-libbing crude jokes. You really felt that it would have been kind to put a sniper in the far corner to put the poor sod out of his misery - sadly this idea only came in retrospect.

3)The speech has to be pertinent so that everyone can understand at least a part of what is being discussed. Sly references to one-off acts of derring-do will probably raise a snigger from the three people involved, but without a little more explanation the rest of your audience is going to miss the point entirely.

4) Some of the greatest best man's speeches are relatively short, prop-orientated and funny for all those present. Flatter the bride, make sure the groom can show his face in public again and whatever you do, don't upset the grandparents...
Whatever happens, don't suppose for a moment that you can please everyone and make everybody laugh at the same time - just so long as everyone feels that it went well, then you can't ask for more than that!

Research, Research, Research - It's all about Research
A speech takes a lot of preparation and the more people who help you prepare, the more comprehensive your speech will become. Talk to the groom's other friends and family for good stories and make the speech a joint effort (then you can share the blame too). The following testimonial just goes to prove that married life can be bliss:
My other half was the best man for our friend Myles. I had shared a house with Myles when I was a student and I ended up being co-author of the speech. There was so much material to work with. The speech began with the question 'How many people have seen Myles 'partially' naked?' I think all his friends put up their hands, and there was the bride, of course, smirking, and most of Myles' family. The next question was 'Who has shared a bed with Myles' [meaning platonically!]. Again, most of the audience put up their hands, most of them blokes! The rest of the audience were in no doubt about the direction of the rest of the speech - it was raucous.
Try and find books like The Best best man's Speeches from the 1970s which can be really, really helpful. You can get them from charity shops and they can provide flashes of inspiration and hilarity that will liven up any speech. Imagine how you laugh at the fashions from that era - now apply that same idea to the comedy...

Mind your Language
Remember that your audience at a wedding is a varied age group, so think what you're saying and use witty words instead of swear words, it'll be much funnier if you don't offend people with bad language anyway. As for being risqué, allusions are always much better than direct references.Those that get it, get it. Those that don't aren't offended. Let the following serve as a warning to us all...
The best man at my wedding used a swear word and my gran was offended and my nephew kept saying it - he was only six.
Make sure the speech is suitable for the local audience. There is an urban legend concerning a best man boasting of the groom's ability to flirt with girls and kiss/snog them. He said that he was able to 'cop off with any bird'(sic). Unfortunately, this equated to actual copulation in the local slang.

The Important Bit - the Toast
Don't forget that your principal job is to deliver a toast to the bridesmaids. These are obviously the second most attractive women in the room, following the bride (always a good line to use especially if the bride is you new sister-in-law).
And if you are single, this is as good a chat-up line as you're going to be able to give in your speech. Not that most people necessarily meet their future partners at weddings or anything...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A695324