My 5 year old nephew is super sensive, how do I displine him without making him cry?

Question

I babysit him every day until August 7 and he cries eveytime I put him in timeout. I put him in time out because I tell him to do something almost 3 times and he will not. When he gets out of timeout he cries and cries. He stops after he watchs tv for a 30 mintues, but when I ask him something he will begin to cry again.
I'm being the bad guy, or is he too senitive.

Sincerly Confused

Answer 1

I have a six year old and know the frustration. The key to discipline is consistency. When he does something wrong he must be placed in timeout every single time he does something wrong otherwise he will continue to act up because he knows that he can get away with it sometimes. The reason kids act up is to find there boundaries. The boundaries that you provide are like their saftey net.

Timeout Guidline
One minute for each year of life
example 5years = 5 minute time out
If they refuse timeout then a nice smack to the bottom can be effective
But I have found timeout to be more effective than spankings

Answer 2

To change his behavior you may need to adjust yours, as you are the person in charge. Don't focus on the negative stuff during the next week and a half, or it will be horrible for you both. Sounds as if you need to use some positive incentives instead of what you are doing... how are you asking him? is your tone of voice raised? Perhaps he knows what is coming - that dreaded time out. How about praising him for the stuff he DOES do right? Don't say there is not anything, if so then you need to notice more than the bad stuff. He may be super sensitive if he has been treated negatively (not just by you), and he needs to feel like he is not totally worthless. You are confusing him too, with the time out / TV reward / time out / TV reward... Do something with him - why is he sitting there in front of the TV doing nothing else in the first place??????? Interaction is key in getting a child to listen to you, play some games, read a book, whatever, but for gosh sakes turn the "babysitter tube" off or at least limit it to one program while babysitting him. It is not a good substitute and he will never learn socialized behavior that way. Positive reinforcement does work. And - for the next week and a half do something out of the ordinary and find some enjoyment for both of you, after all, you are not his parent but his aunt, and it would be nice to have a good relationship with him down the road instead of a lot of bad memories blocking it. Ask his parents what they do in this situation as well, as what works for one child (time out) may not work at all for another. Best wishes.

Answer 3

I understand your confusion. Have you discussed this issue with his parents and asked what do they do when junior's bad?

Sounds to me that although junior is only 5, he's impressively savvy in using the tears as a means of gaining sympathies--especially when he's done something bad.

Timeouts don't seem to work well....and I don't carry a lot of faith in that politically correct tatic of "sensitive ( it takes a village) discipline".

In my day, my parents (for a brief time) tried having me stand facing a corner, with my nose into it. Yeah....that worked REALLY well (not!!!).

And that was as close to politically correct back then (before the term got hip) than they were when discipline was called for.

Corporal punishment, if applied correctly, DOES work. Sad thing, however is: it's rarely done correctly--and has gotten a bad rep these days. I really don't advise it unless it's done on your own children.

However....you can loosely roll up a couple of pages of a newspaper and swat it across his buns. It won't hurt at all--but the message gets clear to him. Yeah, he'll pout and cry...but you have to be firm and not show YOUR sensitive side (where you open up to his manipulations).

Still....I'd speak to junior's parents first before doing anything else.

Answer 4

No your not the bad guy. To me it sounds like this kid could be sensitive and spoiled. If you let him out of time-out because you cant stand the crying anymore or you let him watch tv then he wont think that he did anything wrong. He also probably knows you cant stand the crying and thinks if he does it constantly you will give in and let him do what he wants. You cant let him think that. you gotta stay tough!! eventually he will get the picture that his crying isnt doing any good and he will get tired of doing it if it has no effect on you. Ignore it as best you can! get some headphones or an ipod and just drown out the tears!

Answer 5

Ur Doin A Great Job Ur Being A Good Aunt Prolly Ur Sister Just Spoils Him Rotten And Doesnt Discipline Him In Anyway Prolly She Let Him Get Away With Anything........

Answer 6

No, I think that he doesn't see the positive outcome in the situation. I am a teacher so I tend to use what I call a star chart. He has three velcro stars on a chart and if he can keep all three stars (by doing the right) thing, he gets rewarded simply by playing a game he might like or, a special activity. If he chooses not to do the right thing, then you warn him by taking away that star. That way he can earn back the star by doing the right thing. It works wonders for me, but the beginning is tricky as they havn't experienced the reward. You dont need to raise your voice the stars basically get the message across loud and clear.

Answer 7

Sounds like your nephew knows who's in charge. . . .HIM! Don't be offended but you need to be the adult and make sure he knows that YOU are the boss not him. A method that could break his crying to get what he wants habit is to not "officially" start the timeout until he stops crying. Eventually. he should learn that crying will get him nowhere thus ending his behavior. Not guaranteeing anything but its worth a shot. But you are not being a bad guy, he's just being whiny (super sensitive)

Answer 8

Try to get him to see your point of view and tell him why what he is doing isn't right until he understands. That will make it easier for him to keep a moderate behavior so even though he wants to do something bad he will think about how it effects the people around him and stop. If he chooses to make a fit anyway try being nice to him and calming him down. If that doesn't work try giving him a soft punishment. Something thats not mean but will influence him not to do it agian. If he stops crying then give him candy. That will hepl ALOT!

Answer 9

dont worry about doing anything that might make him cry. if he did wrong, then he should be punished.

If he cries when you discipline him, just ignore it. When he cries it might be a way to help him get out of trouble from his parents.

Before i go on a rant that will last forever i will answer your question. No, you are not the bad guy and yes he is too sensitive. Just do what you are doing and ignore the crying.

Answer 10

This isn't sensitive, this is a child who is manipulating you with tears. Continue as you are by punishing him with the time outs. Put him in a corner or on his step then leave him instead of listening to him cry. He only cries because he knows he has an audience in you and when he realises you're not there to hear him, he'll quickly learn it isn't going to work.