I have been dating a guy for almost 5 years. Both of us are recovering alcoholics. I recently found out he has been seen "alot" with another woman in AA for over a year. When I asked him about her, he said he did not know her... that she is just a woman who comes to meetings where he goes sometimes. About an hour later, he said he was her sponsor but that he didn't want me to know. I don't believe him because he lied to me about her. This is not the first time I have caught him in a lie, but he always convinces me that he is trying to change his old alcoholic behavior. I believe in that. But should I believe him?
In AA, it is not recommended for men to sponsor women. But sometimes they do. I am uncomfortable with this. I am told that they are together all the time and now they even work together down on skid row. I have asked him to tell her to get a female sponsor. He says God placed her in his life so he can "help her." I think he is full of it. What do you think?
2006-07-26 17:10:25 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is full of it. Past behavior predicts future behavior and that future isn't looking too good for you. Dump him. And keep up the good work!! He has changed from being addicted to alcohol to being addicted to lying. Please don't fall for it:)
2006-07-26 17:15:03 · answer #1 · answered by Shawn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also have been sober for a while. When I was sobering up it was a little different than today. It's sad but some AA has become politically correct also. Back when I was sobering up I learned that "you remember the people who kick you in the *** and not the ones who pat you on the back". Although you may resent the kick initially you later realize that they are being honest with you. So what I am saying I suppose is to give this man a good swift kick in the pants and tell him to start working his program with an honesty efford. I like yourself do not agree with opposite sexes sponsoring each other. A good friend of mine's wife came into the program and asked me to sponsor her. I had to refuse and explained that it isn't a wise practice as there are many things that the sexes just feel comfortable talking with people of the same sex. I did escort her to her first couple of meetings as she was not convinced she would go alone, she has since found a woman to sponsor her. But I returned with her afterwards to have a coffee with her husband and son, as well my lady was fine with this at the time. I truly hope that your partner is not 13 stepping with this female, but at the same time admit that it does happen (even to strong AA members).
Good luck to you my friend and I wish both you and your partner many more years of contented sobriety One Day At A Time.
2006-07-27 00:26:33 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
theres to many people for you to meet as well now that you can see the world sober have some friends yourself and when he questions you say well i thought it was an open thing since thats what your doing. If other people are talking just ask the girl yourself see what she says.
2006-07-27 00:17:02 · answer #3 · answered by Gypsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it does sound alot too fishy but ya need all the facts before goin out there w/ it, if ya can find out more please do cause somethin doesnt seem to sound right but my hus, he lies alot over the stupid stuff and no reason to do so but always does have had some big ones over it, but not stuff like this, his are the no need ones, I hope ya find out what ya need to and good luck.
2006-07-27 00:17:12 · answer #4 · answered by BRIAN J R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are smarter than this! Of course you know the answer! This guy is not worth your time of day.
2006-07-27 00:15:13 · answer #5 · answered by Cindy B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uhh ok let me make this very simple even u can understand this i think anyway NOOOO.
2006-07-27 00:14:17 · answer #6 · answered by dan248man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah i agree with u i think he is full of it and i wouldnt belive him if i was u
2006-07-27 00:13:30 · answer #7 · answered by alycat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lied about stuff like that.... no i wouldnt believe him. thats me though.
2006-07-27 00:13:05 · answer #8 · answered by scrappy06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wonder why u still wanna believe him
2006-07-27 00:15:20 · answer #9 · answered by May C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cry wolf, would you believe it?
2006-07-27 00:12:39 · answer #10 · answered by RENE H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋