I lost my virginity to him this year ( we're 26) and I know by my religious beliefs that it's wrong, and I can get into trouble, besides it's terrible to be hiding from my family. But he works in another city, and whenever he comes to town there's no way to avoid being together sexually. There are days when we can't stop thinking about it, and know he's coming to town again. I need practical advise on how to contain my desire and his.
2006-07-26 16:56:22 · 11 answers · asked by Questionmaker 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we've talked about this a few times now, and he understands my beliefs and agrees to help, but there comes a point where our will weakens and we both feel terrible desire, and we get into it again. we're planning the wedding for nov 2007.
2006-07-26 17:21:41 · update #1
Tell him no, if he doesn't respect you then get rid of him
2006-07-26 16:59:49 · answer #1 · answered by Dustin D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's really hard i know...but if you are serious about containing your desires then like the other person said tell him no. and talk to him about it. tell him how you feel about him ( you love him or have strong feelings for him whatever the case may be) but that you just dont feel right having sex w/ him before you're married. if he cares for you he will understand. and if the desire becomes too strong when you are together maybe try to get out and go somewhere where there are a lot of people and try to avoid being total alone as much as you desire that alone time if it leads to sex and thats not what you truly want then maybe sacrificing alone time is what will help. also you mentioned your religious beliefs so if you believe in God or whatever talk to him about and he will help you. sorry this was so long lol i just had a lot to say. hope it helps and good luck
2006-07-26 17:07:16 · answer #2 · answered by Joshy's baby girl 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, it's real simple. You are tempted to have sex outside of marriage because you have inappropriately put off marriage. Abstinance is for children. Adults have a duty to God to get married and have children. Since you aren't doing that, you are suffering and being tempted into sin.
The solution is obvious. Stop being selfish and get married. For God's sake, you are already 1 year past your reproductive prime. Your fertility will drop off from age 25 to 30 and RAPIDLY drop off from 30 to 35. It's best if you have all the children you are going to have, sometime within the next 3 or 4 years or so.
Get with the program.
2006-07-26 17:04:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't share your religious belief, refusing him sex may simply push him to using prostitutes. Think about it and it can mean worse.
The practical advice is NOT to contain the desire but to fulfill it in ways that it won't compromise your religious beliefs too much.
You can do it by getting married quickly even if you two are not ready to move in together. You show the 'almighty' marriage certificate to your god and then have sex guilt-free. Of course, it's on the assumption that there's love between you two.
Are you getting married for the sake of sex? No, you get married for the sake of love and more importantly salvation from religious guilt.
2006-07-26 17:24:32 · answer #4 · answered by Dinner 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Simple:
Don't Be Alone With Him At All! Have friends around and leave with friends. Have group dates. If he doesn't respect you and your desire to wait until marriage then he's not a real man and has no respect for you. Again don't be alone with him at all.
2006-07-26 17:01:10 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like once you've had it - it's hard to shut the door on desire. How long before you get married?
2006-07-26 17:00:14 · answer #6 · answered by okarol 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a respectable mature conversation. if he really loves u, he will respect ur rite to choose to not have sex w/ him till marriage. but make sure u reassure him, he did nothin wrong. its just ur personal religious belief that u hold close to u that u dont want to ruin.
2006-07-26 16:59:51 · answer #7 · answered by JustiN CrediblE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i donot think if you r frim in ur religeious belifs then why can't you aviod sex with him . take ken interest in religion and also ask him to be fair with u and can have sex after mariagge
2006-07-26 17:03:31 · answer #8 · answered by Teejays 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try Crazy Glue, yup that ought to do it!
2006-07-26 17:00:53 · answer #9 · answered by quikzip7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him no and explain why if he respects you he will understand and be okay with it
2006-07-26 17:01:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋