my name is Amanda. Im 32 and my daughter Kelly is 3.I have been having some trouble with her recently.Kelly's father and my husband Greg,is a loving father and husband. A couple of months ago,Greg got a really big promotion at his firm.One of the stipulations of this new position is that he must travel every week across the country.We live in Texas and his weekly meetings are in Manhattan.every week he leaves early Sunday morning and comes back late thursday night.So he,Kelly and I only see each other roughly 2-3 times a week.Even though we talk on the phone constantly and have video chats on the computer, the distance has put a strain on Greg's relationship with Kelly and my relationship with Kelly.Lately shes been throwing the worst temper tantrums.Monday, she threw all her toys on the floor and refused to pick them up.Today she went through all my makeup, smeared all my lipstick, sprayed all my perfume,and left me to find the mess.i just do not know what to do she is out of control!
2006-07-26 16:49:03 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I agree with what you are probably already thinking...she maybe acting out due to the new situation. Of course, I am sure that you and your hubby are doing everything you can to maintain normalcy, which is important. Now..Amanda...it is our job to make sure we instill proper values in our kids (even when we feel guilty because maybe we have disrupted them , even briefly). You canNOT give into her tantrums...EVER. Consistency is the key. When she throws a tantrum, you must tell her it is wrong (unacceptable, whatever word you use) to do that, and it is important to express yourself differently. Have a time out or naughty chair and if tell her if she continues her tantrum, or does not pick up her things, she goes in the chair for 3 or 4 minutes. After coming off of the chair, she must apologize, and then resume picking her things up, or being well behaved. If she doesn't it is back on the chair. NEVER let a tantrum allow her to get her own way. And never let her "Get away" with something without following through with the time out chair and a simple "that is unacceptable". I learned a long time ago , that you can't really totally control someone's behavior, but you can make your opinion known and you can reinforce consequences when they happen. Children CAN behave at any age..it is free choice, and you help them to choose the best behavior. Good luck.. and know that all of us moms are in the trenches with you.
2006-07-26 17:01:06 · answer #1 · answered by crazymomma 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
She is a toddler, at least she isn't rude to people in the store or spitting. Toddlers do have tantrums. Try talking to her, and spending more time with her, but don't overwhelm her or she will have more. Also check out parents.com, I have always found them to be a big help. I have a 3 year old(almost 4) too. And he recently as we are exiting the baby stage into preschooler he has been doing everything he has been broke from (ie biting, spitting, drawing on walls, pulling hair, pinching) I think it is just a stage.
2006-07-26 16:57:16 · answer #2 · answered by mommyramey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's not 'out of control', she's telling you in her best child's way that she's really PISSED OFF with what's happened to her dad and her unhappy little life. if you can't or won't read the loud and clear messages she's sending you, I'd suggest you get some parent training REAL SOON so you can both hear and correctly respond to the desperate cry for help she's trying to send out.
my wife's sister and husband had the same 'problem' with their little girl when the dad went away on an out of town construction job for many months. the kid became 'out of control' but fortunately for the kid, her mom had some psychological knowledge and recognized the kid's distress signals, so the dad came home to work soon after.
2006-07-26 19:48:00 · answer #3 · answered by jimrich 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just a stage where they feel like they need to be in control. You need to discipline your child by telling her the things that she is doing is wrong. Often times spanking will send them the message right away. I'm not saying beat your child, but a little slap will put them in place. Most kids go through this phase in life. I wouldn't be too worried about it.
2006-07-26 16:59:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is totally o.k to ask for advice about your toddler....I went through the same thing so I will attempt to give you advice. She needs to know what she is doing is not acceptable. If you do not want to spank, then invest in a time out chair. When she misbehaves, go to the time out chair. Nip this in the bud before it becomes a lifelong dilema. Personally I tried ignoring her and time outs and time outs work best.
2006-07-26 16:58:21 · answer #5 · answered by y_welton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she' pickin up on the stressed out situation in yr home: and this needs to be handled. Children do `feel' it when things are not right; and they react~ she sounds to me to be "protesting" don't you think? Help her by helping her to get herself to control her tempers. I would also make sure that her nutrition is alright; [certain vitamin lack and nutritional lack can cause bad moods even in infants....and ensure she is on schedule for her sleep times! And [when I was running a nursery] take her outside to help get variety in her day; fresh air and some sunshine~
Good luck with this!
2006-07-26 16:58:09 · answer #6 · answered by Tash 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be firm
Keep your routines intact
Time outs
Be honest with her about when dad is coming home
Correct her immediately and let her know that her behaviour is unacceptable
Ask her about her feelings, and talk to her.
Do special things with her(make cookies etc.) as a reward
Dad should do the same too.
2006-07-26 17:01:50 · answer #7 · answered by nrthrngrl_ca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first thought is that you have to make the point that being destructive is NOT an acceptable response.
2006-07-26 16:57:37 · answer #8 · answered by Engineer-Poet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you need to ask you shouldn't be a parent
2006-07-26 16:53:36 · answer #9 · answered by Eldude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋