I'm married have four kids and want to join the Army. My two older kids live with their father but now he found out that I'm going to join he's threatening to leave them with my mother. If he does this when I'm done with basic and AIT and I'm stationed on base with housing and everything will I be able to bring them to live with me? And if he does will it be hard for me to add them as dependents? I've already done my first swear-in and signed my contract for only my yougest two kids and my husband. They also had me sign a paper stating that I wouldn't get custody of my older two thru my enlistment, if I did that would qualify me for discharge as fraudulent enlistment. But it wouldn't be my fault he's the one that's leaving them with my mother who can't care for them.
2006-07-26 16:33:48 · 17 answers · asked by sabrina n 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Please do not forget that as a mother you have a great responsibility to your children. You are a valued member of our society and as such your responsibility to your children ranks higher than protecting the rest of us by joining the military.
The guidance and love you can provide your children (especially the younger ones) is what they need. Our society actually becomes weaker when children grow up on less love provided by a parent. This is not saying that you will not love them any less by joining, but your presence around them cannot be underestimated.
In addition, the likelihood of you going to Iraq is very high if you join the army, regardless of what the recruiters are telling you. So please consider this also before you make your final decision.
2006-08-03 15:03:52 · answer #1 · answered by Hathor 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should not join the Army. Your family will not keep you from being sent overseas or to Iraq. You would be gone for a year. Is that fair to your children. You should have thought of this before having the kids. While in Basic and AIT, you will have little to no communication with your family... is that fair to your children? You are their mother, start acting like one and take responsiblity for their upbringing.
2006-07-27 01:25:24 · answer #2 · answered by msfyrebyrd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have no one you can trust to keep them now. What do you plan to do during deployment?
I think joining the military is worth it but you may not have thought through your decision. Even if you get it by the military, where will they stay when you are deployed & you will be deployed. They told my son's Officer's class that everyone would be deployed eventually. Do you want to be a mother or a soldier more? Single parents must answer this, no matter how unfair it seems.
2006-07-26 23:58:47 · answer #3 · answered by Wolfpacker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There was an old saying back when I was in the military: "If the military had wanted you to have a family, they would have issued you one." The military is not anti-family, but they will want you to focus on your new mission as a soldier. Anything that gets in the way of that will make your life much, much harder.
You need to really ask yourself why you are going into the military. I had a great experience, but it's not for everyone, and if there are family "issues", it will not help that you also need to be surviving basic military training and tech training.
2006-07-26 23:39:56 · answer #4 · answered by Vinny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that did happen and it was like you breaching the contract, you wouldn't get in trouble. They could just "chapter you out" of the Army. It would take a while but they would eventually have you leave. Wow, I'd be a little afraid for my children to be living with a person who has so little regard for their well-being!
2006-07-27 01:01:15 · answer #5 · answered by Tamra A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you wont get in trouble for it. The AF is a little more harsher when it comes to my rule and actually I think its stupid. I am already in the AF and my wife wanted to join and they told her she couldnt because we had 3 kids....
I have know people in the past to pass custody to a trusted family member so that they can get into the military then afterwards they get custody back.....
I guess you can call it a loop hole in the system.
2006-07-26 23:40:26 · answer #6 · answered by JB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are a very selfish person. You obviously didn't think of your children once before pursuing the military life... You are their mother, and you should be with them..... You are leaving them FIRST, don't make your husband look like the bad guy!! And then choosing only 2 of them, what kind of woman are you?? You are despicable!!
2006-07-26 23:41:20 · answer #7 · answered by Katz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is something I recommend you research with a JAG officer ASAP - i.e. before you go in. It is a situation you need advice about, and probably need to inform your superiors about. I would think that he can't just dump them on your mother if he has legal custody. Either way, you need legal advice.
2006-07-26 23:40:56 · answer #8 · answered by Christopher B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to explain the new circumstances asap to your recruiter. The can fix the paperwork to reflect your new situation and then once you have completed basic training your family will be able to come live with you on base
2006-07-26 23:38:51 · answer #9 · answered by kindfirez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can only run away from so many problems. Your kids need a mom, they already 'lost' the dad.
However, it appears that you already sworn your oath of allegience, so isn't it too late?
2006-08-03 12:01:36 · answer #10 · answered by patweb01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋