I am fat and unnatractive. I cannot lose weight due to near starvation as a child. My body converts everything into fat!
I am well-groomed, well-dressed and always get complements on my voice and general bearing. I never leave the house unless I look my best. But my best isn't good enough! No matter what I do, I cannot escape the fact that I am ugly.
I have tried on-line dating, but don't want to put up my photo. It doesn't work. I had a boyfriend once, but he only stayed because he didn't have to work when he was with me. When I demanded that he either get a job or help around the house, he left. I think he was having an affair with the lady from the cleaning service I used.
Is that the only way I can get a guy?
2006-07-26 16:32:08 · 11 answers · asked by violainne 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think it would be best for you not to date until your self esteem improves. There is nothing wrong with being overweight, and for some reason you are in absolute belief that you are "ugly".
Dating someone with your current perspective can only lead to disaster. You'll likely either be taken advantage of (take your previous boyfriend for example), or you'll be reflecting such a negative self image of yourself that your date will be turned off.
I'd advise you to seek professional help (if necessary) to see yourself as you really are. You seem to be so wrapped up in how you perceive others to view you, it's what you see yourself as too.
For me, looks take the backseat to a girl's personality. I am attracted to girls that have a good sense of humour, are intelligent, and have a positive outlook on life. Arrogance is a turn-off, but self-confidence can be quite attractive.
Take your time, enjoy yourself for who you are, and don't settle for anyone that doesn't treat you right. I'm sure you're a beautiful girl, you just need to admit that to yourself.
Take care and good luck.
2006-07-26 16:48:55 · answer #1 · answered by chia_vampire 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I've heard it said that love is not the solution to our problems, love is the reward for solving our problems. People are universal in their disdain for needy people. Your need is profound, and causing you to cry out, but I suspect it is having the opposite effect that you are after.
You have made some very positive statements. When I hear that someone is well-groomed, well-dressed, and always gets compliments on their voice and general bearing; I picture a successful executive, a natural leader, someone who is capable of making a lot of money for themselves and others.
If you become the top player in a particular field, I can assure you the people around you are going to be paying attention to your business moves in place of your double chins. Success is a very powerful aphrodisiac. Does this mean you will be surrounded by sycophants that intend to use you for material gain? Perhaps. But it might also mean that you win the respect and admiration of a man that truly loves you.
Napoleon Hill, in his book, "Grow Rich with Peace of Mind" talks about the sublimation of sexual energy. Perhaps it's time to divert that healthy urge into a powerful furnace to drive you to success in business. Don't give up on current romance, just postpone it for a more excellent future.
I like your guts. keep at it and never doubt your ultimate success, both in business and in love.
2006-07-26 23:49:37 · answer #2 · answered by Elwood Blues 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear learn to accept youself. Have a lot of friends, go around and be chirpy. Always keep your chin up and concentrate on your positive qualities. Eventually when the right guy comes respond aptly. Forget your past but do not forget the lesson.
2006-07-26 23:38:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
im not sure find a guy that will respect and love u for who u r and not for how u look
there r guys like that trust me
don't give up hope
and u can loose weight
work out and just eat healthie snaks and meals
it may seem hard but it works
or u could do surgery if u have the money
~good luck â¥
2006-07-26 23:37:59 · answer #4 · answered by hotloverxo328 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey i can tell u that just b/c ur fat doesnt mean that ur ugly u think that but i dont and yea i havnt seen ur picture but i dotn care what u look like. and i bet there is a guy out there who think ur pretty and beautiful no matter what. go out more and just be urself. stop thinking about ur weight b/c it wont change b/c of ur near starvation as a child. so just stop thinking about it and start thinking about ur a great person and u will found the prefect guy just stop thinking about ur weight.
2006-07-26 23:41:22 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of guys like big girls! You just have to find one of them :) I know a few big girls that have found really amazing, loving bfs on lavalife.. AND they put up their pictures :)
Give it another try! Even if you don't find one online, there's no harm done right? Not like you're losing anything.
Give it another shot... the one for you is out there somewhere!
2006-07-26 23:38:53 · answer #6 · answered by deen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course not. Be yourself, try online dating again, maybe try speed sating if you're game. You sound like a decent person, don't give up. I believe there is someone for everyone.
2006-07-26 23:37:51 · answer #7 · answered by revoltix 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no..if a guy loves you they will loves you no matter how you looks are..so be nice to them and..be a person..you will find your love 1 when you least expect it..the thing is you have to be nice to the people around you..
2006-07-26 23:38:04 · answer #8 · answered by val2rex 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've seen some ugly girls with good looking guys, but then I wonder that guy must be using her, cause he could do so much more better. Who knows maybe he does love her. But don't let a guy use you. Don't ever. I have also seen ugly girls with ugly guys, so have patience - your ugly guy will come along.
2006-07-26 23:41:35 · answer #9 · answered by Jamacaray 2 · 0⤊ 5⤋
self-esteem is what u should encounter
2006-07-26 23:37:06 · answer #10 · answered by fallenangel 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋