My mom died a little ove a month ago, what do I do??

Question

On June 15th, 2006, my mom died in a bad car accident and then just last thursday, I found out a classmate of mine died in a car accident too. I'm not sure how to react... It's just like I'm cursed or something. It seems that everytime something good happens, something 10x worse happens too... How do I react to all of this? I'm going to be a senior in high school and it's just hard to go one. How do I go about doing it???

Answer 1

im sorry to hear that, ur not cursed, as a saying goes " everything happens for a reason". even if the outcome of it is painfull. take care

Answer 2

First of all, let me offer my sincere condolences to you on the loss of your Mom and your friend. It is NEVER easy to lose someone that you love, particularly when the loss is sudden and unexpected. It may seem that you have been singled out for pain, but that it not the case. I think that you need some grief counseling. There are many steps in the grief process. A counselor will help you work through the steps. Also, keep in mind that everyone works through the process at a different pace and in a different way. So do not compare yourself to your Dad or to your siblings or other relatives and friends. Sometimes you may have to do the same steps over again (particularly if you get a setback like another death). Getting grief counseling will mean that you WILL work through this and not have unresolved grief hindering your future life. If you don't know where to go, please look in your phone book. Most cities have grief counseling available. If you can't find anything, call a Crisis Hotline. They usually know how to put you in contact with someone. Many of these organizations adjust their charges according to your abiltiy to pay (this means that it might be free to you). Medical insurance will also pay for this kind of counseling. Don't let thoughts of how you will pay keep you from making the phone call. Where there is a will, there is a way!
Please take care of your self -- you are worth it!!! You should not have to walk this road alone!! Please contact me back and let me know that you have found a counselor.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Been there. Done that. Wish I could burn the tee shirt. I remember being in so much pain that I was sure I would die too.

How do you go on?? You just do. I don't mean to sound cold, but it's true what they say - life goes on. I know from experience that it seems impossible to you now, but it's true.

You need to grieve. Embrace the pain. Yell, cry, whatever it takes. You're young and your mom died. You've been ripped off and you have a right to be pi$$ed off. If you confront the anger head on, you'll feel better faster.

Do what you can to make your mom proud. And I don't just mean a great career and a flashy car. I mean the stuff moms are proud of: being true to yourself, being kind and compassionate, etc.

Most importantly, remember that death can do many things, but it does NOT have the power to stop love. Especially the love of a parent. She's still with you, honey. As long as you hold her in your heart, she'll always be there.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry about your mom ... I lost my dad when I was a senior in high school (he killed himself, so it was sudden like your mom). I did a lot of journaling during the time after, it seemed to help work out some of the thoughts & feelings. I also went for some counseling, which probably would be a good idea for you, too. It certainly can't hurt to talk to a professional about what you're going through. Whatever you do, don't isolate yourself. You need your friends & family now more than ever.

I think the most important thing that got me through (or I should say person) was God. Even though I was going through a 'questioning phase' in my faith during the years following my father's death, God never let me go through it all. If you are a Christian (and even if you're not), there is great comfort in the Bible. God sees your tears, He loves you, He cares ... He will comfort you if you go to HIm.

Answer 5

I am so sorry for the loss of your mom and your school mate.
None of that is your fault and life must go on.
I can understand how you are feeling.
Is there a family member or friend that you are close to that you can talk to?
You are only a senior once and you need to enjoy your last year of school.
Feeling sad is the normal grieving process. It will pass.
Hang in there honey, it will get better with every day.

Answer 6

My Dad also died in a horrible car accident five years ago. I love reading so I read a book about greiving. One of the things it said was to find something that your parent like doing or had as a hobby, something like that. Example, my Dad loved trains, and building. So I volunteered my time with Habitat for Humanity as a way to do something in his name. This way your close to them.

Something real big in our family is this too. I saw a story about a young boy dying and being real close to his Mom she was worried about being without him. He told her to pick up a penny whereever she goes and she will know it is a penny he is sending her from Heaven and she will know he is with her. After his death she all but gave up, until one day outside his school where she has voluntering for the day she was caught off guard by a shiny object on the sign in the grass of his school. Curious she went over and it was a bright shiny penny. At that moment she remembered what her son had promised, and felt so much peace knowing he was watching over her.

We never pass a penny. Not ever. The day my Mom went in for surgery and we were sitting on the chairs in the lobby my mom kept seeing something shiny reflecting under a chair everytime the door opened. She went over and sure enough it was a shiny penny and it was the year they were married. Strange but true.

Keep a special jar. One for your Mom and one for your friend and put the pennies you find in it. Good Luck and smile.

Answer 7

Trust me, I know how you feel. My Mom died 4 years ago from cancer and it was very devastating and I just KNEW that I could and would not be able to live. Deep down I knew that mother would want me to be strong and live my life. Prayer helps, that is how I keep standing. She will always be in your heart and mind, each days gets a little bit better. There are some days you may feel like crying, do that if it makes you feel better. Time heals all things, but realize that you must continue your journey, your mom would want that. God bless you and I'll keep you in my prayers as well.

Answer 8

It's all in the hands of God, turn it over to him. I know what you are going through. I lost my dad back in 1997, turned around and a week later lost my job that was supporting my family, we had almost lost everything, the electric, almost the car, then to make it all worse, my ex cheated on me within a month of my dad passing away. Trust me, God will pull you through. It was so rough though. I never thought that i would ever be happy again, but as time goes on, you will slowly recover. It all takes time. you can email me if you want emotional support, the death of a parent is really hard. you need to talk to someone, anyone. don't let this build up or you will explode. [e-mail]

Answer 9

This kind of loss is the hardest one to deal with. But know you can do this one step at a time. You will always hurt and miss your loved ones but eventually you will be able to remember the good memories and it will comfort you. It feels like it is hard to go on, but you must. Your mom would want you to be able to do all the things she would have hoped for you. Just by asking for help says you are strong. Stronger than you know. Keep talking and getting your feelings out. Seek out people who can comfort you and speak to someone to do some grief counseling with you.

Answer 10

You have my sympathy very deeply. You need someone to talk to someone that you can really talk to and feel comfortable with. Me, I couldn't talk to a family member. I would talk to my best friend or a counselor. Please get the help asap before school start. it will be hard for you to concentrate on school work and activities while you are still mourning. Losing your mom, will take a good long while to be able to move on. I do not know how close you are to this classmate but obvisouly you do care for that person. You talk about bad accident, were there alcohol involved? If so, join the MADD group. Please seek help, you are so young. When school start you can talk to the counselor there.
Do you have a super best friend that you can really, really talk to and trust? If so, go to that person. You need to talk about it, be open about it, the more you talk about it the easier it will get. Sure you're gonna wanna cry and it is okay to cry, you are allowed to cry she is your mom. Something else, if you have several friends and you just so happened to like their mom, talk to them too. They will be the best person to talk to because they will surely be there for you. They are a mom so they will know what you are missing out on. So, please let them help you.

Good Luck and if you need me to talk to email me. Lay it all out, I will do the best I can to help you as long as you have someone to talk to. Please do not bottle it up all inside of you. It is not healthy that way. I wish I can put my arms thru this screen and give you a warm hug.

Answer 11

Take it a day at a time. You have had your share of tragedies. I really feel for you. Be positive just remember that you have an angel watching over you now and I don't think your Mom would like your thinking. She'd want you to move on in life she'll be waiting for when it's your turn and hopefully that'll be many years down the line. Good luck in life.