What is the funniest thing you have ever said to a police officer?

Question

(Or if you're a police officer, what's the funniest thing you've ever heard from a civilian?)

lol smartguy420 that happened to me on Hwy 101 on my way to work in Arcata (Humboldt County, Northern California) hehehe

Officer, I must tell you from a woman's point of view that starting her period is a very valid excuse for speeding when one is lacking tampons lol

Answer 1

(Female cop)...No u spread em and assume the position...yeah dont recomend it spent the night in jail and paid 500$ fine

Answer 2

Here's three from the officer's point of view:

1. Officer: "How much have you had to drink tonight?"
Driver: "Too much."

2. Male Officer: "Is there a reason you were going 30 over the speed limit, ma'am?"
Female Driver: "I'm trying to get home and live 20 minutes from here. I'm in a hurry because...well, it's that time and I don't have any pads."
Officer: "Ma'am, I may not know a whole lot about these things, but don't you know ahead of time when that's coming?"

3. Officer: "It seems like we've got it all sorted out, sir. She's telling us that it was all consensual. You can go ahead and go."
Man: "Well, can I get my lighter back?"
Officer: "Sure, where is it?"
Man: "In her rectum."

The first has happened more than once, and they're all three true things that have really happened to me.

Answer 3

When I was about 5 years old in 1972, a cop came to our door - I don't know why. I had 7 older brothers, so I knew a lot of 70s slang. I answered the door and then ran into the living room shouting, "It's the fuzz!!"

Answer 4

While on traffic duty, I stopped a vehicle traveling 20 miles over the speed limit in a residential neighborhood. The woman turned into a driveway and quickly exited her car and exclaimed that she had just gotten a call from her neighbor who said he heard her smoke alarms sounding, so she hurried home to investigate. I grinned and went to the house and unlocked the front door. It was my driveway she pulled in to. She lowered her head, sighed, and said ... "Give me the ticket ...".

Answer 5

I don't recall whether I ever said anything funny to a police officer, but one time when a cop pulled me over, he probably thought it was funny that when I finally realized he was following me with sirens and lights (I had the stereo up loud), I slammed on the brakes and pulled over into an embankment.

Answer 6

I got a fix it ticket for a headlight being out. I went to the local police station, just an outpost really, to show I had fixed it. Out walks this incredible man, tall, gorgeous, muscular........He was only in a t-shirt and pants and explained that he was getting ready to go off duty and in the process of changing. I said "Oh, don't let me stop you, go right ahead".

Answer 7

good question. I just like reading the answers. I haven't really said anything funny that I can specifically remember, but I know there are TONS of inside jokes in the police world. Other than lots of slips on the radio I can't think of a specific incident, but good question, I love people they are so funny!

Answer 8

Way back in the 70s, stopped a lady driver and instead of giving me the driving licence, she handed her calling card. I said that I only needed her particulars but she said " dont you want to call me sometimes"
Guess what? we got married 5 years later

Answer 9

I am not under the affluance if inkohol as thumb theople pink,
but the drunker I sit here, the longer I get.

Answer 10

The Police Officer when reading me my rights said: " I must warn you that anything you say will be taken down.." And I interjected with "Knickers!"

Answer 11

When i was pulled over and got the ticket i ask Officer to return my PBA card,which of course, he did not.