faith and for her confidence in talking about it. She would stand in front of her house and say "Allah be praised" to all those who passed by. Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!"
Hard times came upon the elderly lady, and she prayed for Allah to send her some assistance. She would pray out loud in her night prayer "Oh Allah! I need food!! I am having a hard time, please Lord, PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!"
One night the atheist happened to hear her as she was praying, and decided to play a prank on her. The next morning the lady went out on her porch and found a large bag of groceries. She raised her hands and shouted, "Allah be praised!."
The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those groceries, God didn't."
The old lady laughed and clapped her hands and said,"Not only did Allah send me groceries, but he made the devil pay for them!"
2006-07-26 15:48:37 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Okay, I appreciated your thoughtful response to my admittedly tactless,(but still unanswered) question. A Rabbi, and Imam, A Priest and a Swami are standing at a bridge, they are each holding signs that say, "The end is near". A biker drives by yelling at the religious men to mind their own business. The holy men then cringe as they hear the resounding splash. The Swami throws down his sign and say, "I told you they just should have read, Bridge down!!!!".
2006-07-27 11:43:20 · answer #1 · answered by Physics is the Answer. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Pope dies and goes to heaven. As he walks up to the pearly gates he notices another guy standing there. He thinks he's famous maybe a rock star. Before he has time to find out who the guy is out pops St. Peter and escorts the two gentlemen in telling them that he's taking them to where they will spent the rest of eternity.
The first place they come to is an old thatched roofed hut next to a stream with a few fruit trees in the back. It's nice enough, but the Pope thinks to himself "this can't be for me after all I'm the Pope". But sure enough St. Peter turns to him and says "Here you go Pope. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask".
The Pope thinks "Well this isn't too bad". Before he can walk through the door he turns to see a choir of angels descend down and scoop up the Rock Star and carry him up to a mansion in the cloud with gold columns, a swimming pool, even dancing lady angels.
A little pissed off the Pope turns to St. Peter and says "No offense, but what gives, after all I'm the Pope". St. Peter turns back and tells him "Yeah, you're the Pope. We got plenty of Popes. How many Rock Stars do you think we have?"
2006-07-26 16:05:05 · answer #2 · answered by lifhapnz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It comes a great flood, the preacher is on the roof of the church when a rowboat comes along. The guy says “get in the boat preacher.’ The preacher says “ no think you, the lord will take care of me” So as time passes another rowboat comes by. The guy says “get in the boat preacher.’ The preacher says “ no think you, the lord will take care of me” So as time passes the water rises and the preacher is hanging on to the steeple. Then a helicopter comes by and a man calls down “grab the rope and we will pull you up” The preacher says “ no think you, the lord will take care of me”
So as time passes the water rises and the preacher drowns. When the preacher gets to heaven he asks God “God what happen, I though you would take care of me?” God says “Hell I sent you two rowboats and a helicopter, what more did you wont?”
2006-07-26 15:56:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A minister, a rabbi, and a clergyman meet on trip, and initiate talking approximately their church homes. It seems all 3 of their homes are infested with mice. they comply with meet returned the subsequent year and communicate their answer. the subsequent year they meet as planed, an the minister says "properly, we took up a particular sequence to hire an exterminator. He did an excellent activity, yet six months later the mice have been decrease back. The rabbi says "We accompanied some cats from the community look after and set them up interior the synagogue. worked like a appeal! yet as quickly as the mice have been long previous, the cats ran away, and then the mice come decrease back!" The priest merely sat there smiling till the different 2 demanded to take heed to his answer. "trouble-free, quite. We baptized the mice, and now we basically see them at Christmas and Easter."
2016-11-03 02:10:06 · answer #4 · answered by mcthay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A preacher was telling his sermon one Sunday morning, when suddenly the entire church fled to the back of the doors to get out of the church house. The preacher looked behind him, and he too fled out of the church house. But one old man remained ,sitting in the very front pew and never moved. The horrible and very frighteniing figure which was the reason for the church fleeing the way they did, asked the man in the front pew,"dont you know who I am?" The little old man very calmly responded with a "yes, I know who you are".The frightening figure replied with "tell me who I am then." And the old man said " your the devil himself". The devil said "you are correct, but why aren't you afraid of me like the rest of the church members were?" The old man responded with," Because I'm married to your sister".
2006-07-26 15:57:48 · answer #5 · answered by Carol M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't have a joke, but isn't yours kind of bashing atheists? It is a cute joke though.
2006-07-26 15:53:14 · answer #6 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice
2006-07-26 15:52:27 · answer #7 · answered by strike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋