do your boys always fight?

Question

my two sons always fight they are 4 and 8 years
they drive me absolutely insane
i try not to pick sides
they are well mannered and well behaved most of the time but just always fight together
they always tease eachother and call eachother names
any ideas on how to get them to act more like brothers than enemies?

they also get physical

Answer 1

My younger son was born two years after the death of my older son...... Oh how lucky and blessed you are to have your boys fighting together.

Answer 2

There's a great article on sibling rivalry in Time from a couple of weeks ago that will lend some insight..

I have two boys, I am the eldest of three boys.. and my wife was never around boys and she's just shocked at how they fight and get physical.. It's normal for boys to be agressive towards each other.. It's partly how they learn to compromise, even if it doesn;t seem so now.. think of it.. they are with each other constantly.. always in each others business.. as a general rule, they probabaly do very similar activities, either by choice, or by parental convience.. (i.e, both play baseball or hockey)

The key is do they ever play well together.. My boys, ten and eight, often play well together, very well.. but it will almost always eventually degrade if they play too long together.. plus the younger one knows exactly which button to push to get his older brother to slug him and then mom comes running and the older is in trouble.

check the Time article out.. it was quite fascinating..

Answer 3

My son and nephew are 6 days apart in age and we livein the same small town, so they were more like twins. When they would argue and fuss we would tell them to take it outside because we didn't want to hear it or see it. One day we had had enough and told them to go out and fight. We followed them and wouldn't let them stop. We told them to keep it up and threatened no tv if they stopped! They would fight a while and stop and look up and we would say keep fighting! We kept it up until we couldn't keep from laughing and they were worn out! They stopped the continuous teasing and arguing and only did it once in a while but not long enough for us to get involved again!! They were best friends all through school and nobody could pick on one without the other joining in to help defend his cousin! There were also 2 1st cousin girls in the same class but they never were as close.(all four of us siblings had a kid within 7 mo)Best wishes for peace! You can also use rules and consequences that I really learned in depth later and my 2 younger kids got it and it worked.

Answer 4

This is how brothers behave. My two boys ages 10 and 11 are the exact same way. I cringe whenever my husband tells stories of when he and his brothers were young. We've tried everything to get them to stop fighting but nothing worked so we just let them go at it but we tell them that if they get hurt do not whine or complain to us. We'll patch them up but they get no sympathy. Luckily they do grow out of it, if they haven't killed each other first!

Answer 5

My son and daughter 5 and 8 do the same thing. They'll grow out of it someday, my sister's kids are 9 and 13 and the finally stopped last year.

Answer 6

oh i feel your pain i have 4 boys 11-10 and 4-2 so feel me i have sets of kids lol. I used to think somethng was wrong with mine but i have seen over time that all siblings fight..some worse then others (like mine). I have been trying for years to get them to be friends. everyone says when they get older they will be best of friends. I hope

Answer 7

Mine are 5 and 2. My 2 year old tackles and hits the 5 year old all the time when they play. He just gets too wound up.

My sister used to beat on and tease me...I think it is a sibling thing, just gotta work its way out.

Answer 8

They are brothers...they will fight. I have 4 boys and they do the same. I often ask my husband why God had to make them so different! Dont get me wrong they are good kids...but just fight and pick at each other.

Answer 9

It's enough to make a grown woman cry huh? Mine make me crazy! I have a zero tolerance for rough play and both go to their rooms each time (daily) they break it. Mostly, I set limits, enforce consequences when they break them, and don't sweat it. They will grow out of it, and likely be close as they grow older. My boys will half kill each other, but don't let anyone else mess with them! (In case you haven't read the other answers, they ARE acting like typical brothers!)

Answer 10

My brother and I used to fight all the time but since we grew up he is my best Friend.