Mom won't let me sleep at my boyfreind's place.?

Question

I am in college. I sleep at his place every night. But then I have to go home for break. I really want to go and visit him for a whole weekend (he has his own apartment) but she says "We'll where are you going to stay? I really love him and he loves me. We are already having sex (with a condom every single time.) However she doesn't know that. And we want to be together for a very long time, maybe even get married someday. Is there anyway to get around my mom's old ways? Or talk to her about it?

Answer 1

You just need to be honest with her. Tell her that you love her and know that you will always be her little girl but you are in college now and have found someone you are in love with and marriage may come in the future. Your parents will always see you as there little baby girl and there is nothing that you can do to change that. All you can do is sit down and talk to her about it let her know that you are a very responsible woman and its that time in your life where you are starting to have a life beyond family and friends.

Answer 2

Well, you're acting like a woman so you might as well become one in the eyes of your Mother. Well, as a 29 year old black woman who has a great relationship with her mother--this is my advise: Its time that you talk with your Mother. You're in college now, so I assume you are older than 18. Have a sitdown talk, and let Mom know that you are sexually active and that you are being "safe". (Good Job on using condoms, thats excellent.) But, Dont lie to your mother--its a sign of childishness.

No mother is going to be thrilled that her daughter is having sex before marriage, but if you insist on spending the weekend at your boyfriend's--its time to 'fess up to Mom. Be respectful, and listen to "her side", and dont become arugumentative. Your mother might actually have some great insights for you, after all, she loves you more than she loves herself I'm sure... Since youre a young black sister, I'll go ahead and give you some "un-asked for" advise: since you say you "love" your boyfriend have hopes of marriage--this is my 2 cents. Many African-American women today end up in "long-term" "live-in" relationships with men, hoping that one day they'll head for marriage. Years go by, and maybe a baby comes--because sex Does causes babies and condoms Do break---and the woman ends up being a "Long Term Play Wife". Have you heard Mary J Blige's new song "Enough Cryin"? Next time it comes on the radio--listen, its the tale of a black woman tired of playin' wife, and you can see it happeing everyday to black women if you open your eyes... The older women say "a man aint gonna buy the cow, when he can get the milk for free". I know, it sounds sexist--but its oh so true..As my mom says "after a man has had sex with you every kinda way--there's No Need to get married to you"..So, if you want marriage dear, tone down on the free sex ("free nookies" as my mom would say)...I've been seriously proposed to by 3 different sucessful, handsome men in college--and I never slept with any of them, so I think I Know what I'm talking about. Yes, men do marry women that they sleep with--but you'll notice that in those relationships, the men have all the power, and its the women bending over backward to please the men, not the other way around... Try focusing on your career, the reasons why you're even in college in the first place, and focus on being the best "You" that you can be. After all, I'm sure your Mom is the one helping to pay for you to go to college, and she's not paying for you to have sex or bring home a baby---she's paying for an Education. Get One.

Answer 3

the place did you get the records from. Its no longer the form of element that comes up customarily communication. Your Mum is a brilliant female and would desire to have the means to handle something like this. As for contacting your dad, you dont say the explanation why you elect to try this. If he had a bad dating which contain your mum you won't be doing the dazzling element by using bringing him back into your lives. I dont understand how outdated you're. You of course love your mum and dont choose her to get harm. circulate out someplace nutural (a eating place will do) and communicate on your mum. tell her the form you sense, yet in the previous you accuse him of something be sure your information are precise and you have evidence.

Answer 4

Your others old ways are not as old as you think. They are time honored yes, but she is right. Already having sex doesn't mean that you go and have sex at every opportunity. Are you financially and emotionally able to handle the consquences.

And I mean pregnancy. Remember just because your using condoms doesn't mean you won't get pregnant. There is only one 100% effective method of birth control...and that is not having sex.

Condoms used by themslves only give you about 80% birth control protection.

Answer 5

your in college, so I am taking it that your 18 by now. Your an adult now, mom can't completely control you like that. Sure has the right to ask where your going, or what your doing but she doesn't have the right to say, "no your not allowed to do that." If it gets that bad, on your breaks away from school don't go to your parents house go to his apartment. Try talking to her, explain that this is up to you, that your 18 and you have the right to now do what you please with your boyfriend, but don't word it so she thinks your having sex.

Answer 6

I know this my sound crazy, but it wouldn't hurt to lie to her. I'm a bad person for this, but no one is perfect. You can always tell her that you are going to stay at college for the weekend. Give her an excuse like you hav eot work on a project base on your major, or any other class. This is just a suggestion. I'm not telling you what to do. I wish you the best. Good Luck.

Answer 7

Tell her you are going to visit a girlfriend instead. Then you can visit your boyfriend. Some parents just won't change. Mine were always saying wait till after you are married to have sex. And it just wasn't realistic. I guess some people still do that. It's hard when you have really strict parents. You just have to lie, that is the bottom line.

Answer 8

sounds like your mom is very protective of you, even though you are considered an adult in some eyes. Yes, you and her do need to talk about it. Hard as it may be. I would break it to her gently and just listen. she may not like what you are saying but it will make your consience feel better about hiding the fact that you two are already sleeping together and she doesnt know about it. Or maybe she already knows and just hates to admit it. my husbands mom did that, of course he was an only child. parents llike that are usually harder on thier kids.

most definatley, talk to her.

Answer 9

Precious one, I bet your mom does know. When my unmarried children come to visit or live under my roof, it's x-nay on the sex issue. It's our house rules and they respect them. I think honesty is always the best policy and your mom's values are not "old" - they are there to protect your heart. Perhaps if you see the motive - ask her why she feels that way - you may gain some valuable insight. There is more to a relationship besides sex, use these opportunities of abstinence to continue to get to know him better. Best wishes.

Answer 10

Doesn't matter, with condoms you'll be pregnant within a few months anyway.

Work on your "Hey mom, I'm knocked up and have to leave school and screw up the rest of my life because I have no self control or dignity to save myself for marriage" speech.

Good luck, and don't even imagine for a moment he's going to take care of his responsibility. He won't, you will. Bye!