my wife is SCARED to give birth vaginally,how can I stop her from?

Question

How can i Prevent her from having a Casarean section?
She is very stong heathy 28yr old woman,with no family history of complication's
I told her that a C-Section is more scary.She told me that men don't know anything...
HELP,.......maybe if she reads other peolpe's suggestion she might change her mind
Is it true that you can complicate a future pregnacy by having a C-section.??

Answer 1

the normal birth is always the bes choice i freaked out myself 1 week before i due but thn i'm glad it was a normal delivery...if u opt for a c-section it would be very painfull after labour n it takes longer to heal thn the normal birth...

so pls go for a normal birth may god bless u n jus imagine the angels face which will look back at u n i'm darn sure u'll b a proud parent all the best to u both

Answer 2

I think you just need to back away and let your wife control her own body, not you.

He doctor may feel she is too small to have the baby vaginally without hurting the baby. Are you willing to take the chance with your baby's life just so your wife can have the baby vaginally? The baby comes first my friend, not your feelings.

You let your wife have the baby any way she wants. If she has a c-section then the chances are that if she ever has another baby it will also have to be by c-section. The muscles won't be strong enough to take the strain of vaginal birth the next time, which again would depend on whether she is large enough to deliver vaginally in the first place.

Don't worry about it, don't make a big deal out of it. Let her have the baby and the both of you enjoy the life that the good Lord has entrusted to you. Raise that child the best you can so that when they grow up they will be good, God fearing, contibuting citizens of the world.

Good luck and congratulations on the new child. God bless all three of you.

Answer 3

I wouldn't try to convince her. If she has a good ob/gyn, he won't do a c-section unless necessary. Hopefully she'll progress along and will be able to deliver vaginally without needing one. I've had both...c-section and vaginal (with an epidural). While the contractions are very painful, the epidural helped ease the pain of them by about 95%, making them feel like nothing more than bad menstrual cramps. The pain from a vaginal birth is forgotten as soon as you deliver your baby. You can also "get back to normal" and do fun things with your baby sooner. (Getting him outside for fresh air, etc.). With a c-section, she won't be allowed to do ANYTHING for six weeks, and the recuperation is horrible. It's funny...you don't realize how much you use your abdominal muscles until you have them cut open! Sitting down, standing up, sitting on the toilet, lying down in bed (or trying to rather!), getting out of bed, walking, taking stairs...all of this is excrutiating right after a c-section. Many women seem to think they're no big deal. While most women ARE awake during them, it's still MAJOR SURGERY. They're cutting through your skin and fat, abdominal muscles and your uterus. This surgery, while common, does have all the risks and dangers associated with any other major surgery out there. It's not something to be taken lightly, that's for sure.

Answer 4

I worked for a small company once; we all knew each other pretty well. My colleague's wife had a terrible and painful experience giving birth vaginally. It was agonising. It went on for hours and hours. Her husband was in tears, and passed out twice. We know this because he came into the office asking for help. He did not believe that there was nothing that could be done to help at that point, the poor guy. He thought that it was enough that he'd changed his mind.

They decided then never to have another child. She was treated for post-traumatic shock. She needed it. She screamed when I tried to hug her. She couldn't keep any appointments, because she was afraid of crowds; they might cause her serious pain and think nothing of it. He was wary also. Nightmare.

She didn't get to enjoy her child. She told me that she often wondered where the real child was, the one she had looked forward to having. She knew it would be tough and strenous. She didn't know that it would be like torture and forced-feeding in a Japanese prisoner-of-war camp. She missed the child they had hoped for. Do you have any idea how she was treated? Are you a doctor?

Neither of them really thought this would happen, or be so awful, when they first got married, but that was what they could live with, because they loved each other.

I cannot imagine that your wife would insist that you go to have an extraction, or be treated for cancer, without any anaesthetic.

Afterwards - no, I won't tell you. You want to force it to happen for yourself. Life is not like the movies. Your mother may be of the generation that doesn't tell. Why her family would confide in you is beyond me. They probably think that you don't need to know, because it's not going to happen to you!

But think. Her pregnancy was fine. There was no time during those nine months at which she could take time out, have a coffee, a Coke, a beer, take an aspirin, behave out of character, or explain that she was unnaturally exhausted. There were times when she felt pain much more intensely - stubbing a toe was enormously more painful than normal. She was told that this was perfectly normal. We thought - isn't that comforting! There were no nights off, no breaks for good behaviour. OK? They did everything right.

Her sister then had an abortion rather than go through that.
It made us all think twice about having any children.

I shouldn't break a confidence, but I think you lack information here.

I don't see why it bothers you? Surely this is between your wife and her medical team? Can't you afford the extra?

Do you realise that there was a time when American women were not given any painkillers? Instead, they were in the 1950's, given a drug to make them forget what they had endured? Even though painkillers were? It is curious that you seem to have been given the same drug, even though you are male.

When caesarian section became available in Ireland, she reconsidered her decision. They now have three children, and feel happy and normal.

I think you should consider that these are now much older people who now have three children, thanks to the availability of C-sections. His wife has told me that she would never have chosen to go through that again.

Some people can give birth after great and intense effort, compressed into 20 minutes. Many people do not. It's extremely rare for any woman to exaggerate the pain involved unless they deeply desire never to have grandchildren.

They usually know, or learn, after they marry and plan their family, how tough it will be. At that point, their mother will, if she remembers and is honest, relate exactly how it was for her. Not to you.

If you think that you will no longer love your wife because she is a mother with a tiny scar made by a professional surgeon, then you are not brave enough to be her partner in life.
She'll survive you wimping out.

I am stunned that a woman who knows what is ahead for her - my colleague's wife knew that her own mother had had awful, lengthy births, and took the chance that hers would be less so - still has the guts to try it.

She probably wants to have your child, out of all the men she's ever met. Would you let her get on with it?

Answer 5

There really is not a way to prevent a Cesarean. Inductions alot of times will result in a Cesarean, she may begin to deliver vaginally and a complication may arise, with me personally I was induced, epidural at a 2 and made it to a 3 before I began to experience the worst vaginal pain which was caused by a sub-dermal hematoma the size of a golf ball in my vaginal canal which resulted in a rush to the O.R. for a C-section. Due to having the C-section the lining of my uterus perforated which means any other children I have will have to be Cesarean. Though my story is not typical results of all women, this is possible, as is VBAC(vaginal birth after Cesarean). The final decision will be made at Labor and Delivery. Good Luck and Congrats!!

Answer 6

Your wife's doctor needs to be consulted. Normally, a C section is done because a woman cannot deliver normally. This is major surgery and can cause complications later in life. And if she plans to have more than one child, that too will be complicated.

Women have been giving birth vaginally for years. Once the baby is born, you forget how he/she got here. There are also drugs that help with the contractions.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Tell her to do some homework. I had two children vaginally, no complications. Tell her that a epidural is safe, actually if she has a c-section she'll get one too. I don't understand why so many women think it is better to have a c-section, unless she physically can not deliver. I have heard from many people that a c-section is actually worse, and more painful for days to follow rather having a baby natural and then the pain is gone. Good luck guy!

Answer 8

C-sections are MAJOR surgery that should NOT be done unless ABSOLUTELY necessary. I gave birth to a wonderful baby boy 2 years ago NATURALLY ( no drugs at all).

I think that BOTH of you need to educate yourself on birth. I think that instead of you "telling" her that she shouldn't have a c-section, maybe you should give her information on it, google it, call a Midwife/Doula.

And I think that your wife needs to be a little more open minded! She needs to be willing to HEAR what others say, because if she isn't willing to hear it, she won't do it.

#

* Cesareans are unecessary more than 90% of the time
* 95% of mothers are capable of having a normal healthy birth without any intervention

# Major abdominal surgery [cesarean] includes the same risks of any major surgery, such as:

* Life-threatening drug reaction
* Unstoppable bleeding
* Massive infection

# It is almost always intervention that causes issues in labor- NOT a flaw in the mother's body!
# Mothers and babies deserve more than the average American birth which generally includes five or more interventions- Our bodies were not designed to fail us!

Oh and by the way...it's called a V-BAC (Vaginal birth AFTER Cesearn)!!!!! SO NO your wife will NOT HAVE to have another C-Section if you guys choose to go it that way...

Answer 9

I had a c-section ( I had twins) and it was rough. It took me a month to recover. I was in the hospital for a week, and had a hard time taking care of the new babies. I was very jealouse of the women who gave birth vaginally, cause they went home sometimes the same day, next day at the latest. If you have an epidural you wont feel any pain, and if you are afraid of the epidural having a c-section wont help, because thats how they numb you for the c-section as well. If your DR. thinks vaginal is safe, sure way to go, Id do it. its much much easier.

Answer 10

It's normal to be scared, because it hurts, but she just has to be relaxed and think positive. Given birth vaginally you feel great like a week after and with a C-section it takes up to 6 weeks, I mean it's a surgery. I'm a mother of two I delivered vaginally and I'm pregnant right now and believe me I pray to God that I will not need a C-section, and I'm scared too, but I think it's normal since you really don't know the outcome. Good luck.

Answer 11

My aunt went and had a c-section for her 2nd child even though she had NO complications with her first. The c-section site got very infected and she lost her fallopian tubes and ovaries from it. I have had 2 vaginal birthes, one just last week, and I have had no complications other then i tore a bit with my first, but it was nothing serious and it went away quickly. My second was just last thursday and I am already healed with no complications or anything. Just a smidge of back pain, but thats normal. Tell her that theor are FAR more risks with a c-section then vaginal. Besides, she'll have a hideous scar plus the stretch marks.