how do I get some respect?

Question

I live w/ my mom, have an 8 mo. old daughter, & am taking 18 units this semester, so theres NO time for a job & I have nowhere else to go. I give her what I can out of fin. aid & buy stuff for the house(shampoo, food, etc.) & clean up. You couldn't even tell theres a baby around by how kept up I keep her stuff. I'm not rude, messy , or loud. despite all this, I get crabbed at almost 24/7, am told to "get out & get a life" yet be a 'good mommy' @ the same time, am questioned if I pop up w/ any $(if it's not stolen first), noone will stay out of my room & I can't even have a lock on the door besides a rinky-dink knife can open it one. Also, I have to nurse the baby every 4 hrs, but am told to stop "sitting on my lazy fat a$$ all the time". I know these may sound like teen/kiddie complaints, but I'm 21 yrs old! I have nowhere else to go & no way to make that happen @ this point, but I deserve some amt. of respect. How do I get it?!(btw, I've tried asking &talking nicely, it hasn't worked)

Answer 1

respect is always something that is EARNED and not automatically deserved or granted. In all of this you never mention a Father for this baby?? Obviously all respect starts with self respect. Maybe if you had some of that you would have not have gotten pregnant and still be living at home with your "Mommy". If you can not handle the responsibility of parenthood, you should give your child up for adoption to a married couple who can. Obviously your parents must be pretty disappointed and angry with you. I am sure this is not the life they had planned for you. As long as you live under their house and they pay the bills, it is their rules.Perhaps if you had behaved better and lived better, you would be treated better. We reap what we sow. Maybe you should sit down calmly and think about your life and what you are dong and what is not working and what you can do to change things. Why isn't the Father of this child paying child support? Frankly, I am tired of people making foolish and lousy decisions with their lives and then whining about it and expecting everyone else to put up with them and clean up their messes for them . Also the tax payers have to pay for you and your child through what ever state aid you get too. Hardly my fault for that either. You seem very immature for someone 21 years old. You may want to get some help and therapy. You really need to do something here to make your life better. It is after all your life. Think about what kind of life your baby will have with no father. Can you really provide for and stay home and take care of this baby? Does not sound like it to me. Instead of collecting state aid, get the state (which they will do for free) to go after the father and make him be responsible for his child. You did this to yourself. It was your decision. Make better choices in the future. Give people a reason to respect you and they will. Do you think your parents are happy and thrilled to have to be burdoned full time with all of this. How about thinking about your baby and your parents for a change instead of yourself?

Answer 2

Maybe someone needs to make some different decisions. Parents are thinking the men in your life should have kept their pants on and you to have put some substantial distance in when they came down--that and you keeping your skirt down. Then maybe you should have at least done that with a man that would stay with you and the kid. Or maybe you shouldn't have chased off the guy who fathered your child. The father could be helping you, and you living with him, if only you were easier to get along with. Then too, if you don't have him helping, why aren't you working and making a place for yourself? Sure, eventually the education might make jobs better.

I took six years to get a four year degree, maybe you need to do something like 12 hours a semester and get a job to help pay your way. Respect is earned, and sometimes slowly, but at your rate you aren't earning an awful lot of points in that direction. It sounds like you are a bear (perhaps, the term for a female dog) to live with, go back to talking nice.

Answer 3

You will never get the solid respect that you seek from a parent that has not already shown some major support that you did not have to question---way before now
Several things that you said in your statement has told me that you are in a circumstance that will not be easy on you for the duration that you are there---wish I could hold out some hope for you here---but I'm telling you --I don't see it
Your best effort will come in finding a way to clear away from the homeplace with Mom and go----I know you say that isn't possible right now----but it is possible in a little while if you make it happen

There are two girls that I know that live as roommates and they both have small children---they both work fairly full time jobs and even have some lattitude in time for going out some---the way that they work that out is----they work different shifts and while each is working---the other cares for the kids---something like this could work for you if you set that as a goal and make it happen

Answer 4

Keep doing the best that you can do. Take your frustrations out on your schoolwork and do the best that you can. So that you can prove that you are more than what your mom claims you to be. Set a goal to move out. Get a course of action and work toward it. That will get you respect!!!

Answer 5

whose baby? ask your mother to hire a baby sitter?
4 hours a day is enough to make a revenue, if posible.

yes, go out with the baby too if you are told so, it can be healthy for both of you.

dress up and look good, it will ease many women problem. (since somehow, there is more people willing to help)

Answer 6

WHEN YOU GET A GOOD JOB AND GO ON YOUR OWN HING IN THERE

Answer 7

Smack a hoe!