I have been a single mother since the birth of my child. I was 25 when she was born? Why is my sister so mean?

Question

My sister is a 15 months older then me. She was 19 and had an abortion. When I was pregnant the whole family told me what a discrase I was for getting pregnat before I was married. ( Earlier I had talked to a former room mate about the way I was being treated by my family, she broke down and told me my sister had an abortion when she was 19 and I with her So I knew this info. One night my brother in law went off on me for being so stupid and getting pregnant before I was married. My fiance left because of all my families crap and other things. My sister married a man for his job status and his money. No love. They are very well todo and have two children who have the best of everthing. They have everything a person could want, except love I guess. They are snoody and treat me like crap. They had a fourth of July celebration at there lake place, I was invited, and then invited the day the of the party. Should I throw in her face at least I had the guts to keep my child and not kill it?

her husband new about the abortion. and he still threw it in my face.

My brother refused to go because he would be snubbed. Be is all very cruel to me and threaten to killy me numerous time and burn my house down. My mother was ouut of town and could not make it. So I was invited because they just wanted it to be her husbands side of the party. We were at the store picking up the the stuff to bring when she called me on my cell. Then she said anyway every one else is spending the night and you dont have a camper. They have a camper that sleeps eight, plus thier boys sleep in a tent half the time. They would not let us stay in their camper. My daughter was so sad she cried and cried when she found out we were uninvited. You see I am a single mom, I have a small house I bought, I drive a 2003 car, nonthing fancy. For years I drove a 1990 can, bought it uses. Last year bought a newer car. But it does compare with there 30-40 dollar vehicles. Or there 220 acre lake land. or there 240 acre land they live on. They all bran new four wheelers.

I have put on alot of weight. And my brother in law talks around town how big I am and he is embarassed when I am around and other he knows. I was in the hospital having major lung surgery ( non smoker) I was near death and had no I idea if I would live through the surgeroy. The night before the surgery my sister came to the hospital and said ya your chin is gettng pretty big you should have the doctors staple your stomache while they have you under removing your lung. I want to tell her when she puts me down for being poor. I want to say well at least I know what it is like to be a single mom, you took the easy way out and killed your child. At least I had the guts to keep my child and raise it. Everytime I mess up my mom gets on the phone and tells everyone. And I asked why dont you tell everyone about the abortion your daugher had. That is worse then anything I have ever done. It was ok that she had an abortion because she new not to shame the family.

My family has no problem bitching about me and the mistakes I have made, and the money problems I had when I was in the hospital for 30 some days. I was yelled at and told a good parent would have money put away for these things. I am the talk of my family. My mom tells all her family about me and my mistakes but will not mention the abortion. I think the abortion should be public knowledge, since every thing I have donen wrong in. A long story short my father was an alky who molested me from a young age. My mother beat me and told me I was fat ugly and stupid and from the minute she saw me she knew she could never love me. She would have gave me up for adoption but her famioy would have asked why. I was sexually, mentally,physically, emotionally and verbal abused. I beg to be put in a foster home and my family said I was lieing and made it all up. four against one. My parents paid my brother and sister with fine gifts and money to take their side.

when i told my mother years after my father died that my father had been molesting me. she called me a whore and a slut for having sex with her husband. she said she new nothing about it, but she knew that i begged my father to rape me. and I was a no good whore for cheating on her husband, whoom was my real father. The other two kids were never touched and given love and everything in life. I was beat up and had my head pounded into walls and told that since i cried I had to stay home alone and sit in the corner while they went out to eat at a fancy resteraunt and went shopping for new clothes and things. and that I did not deserve any because they did not want me or love me. I had a butcher knife heald to my throat by my mother and she said i hate you so bad I want to kill you , but the I would be sent to prison.She would go weeks with out talking to me and ingorning me.acting like i was not there unless i was getting beat. There were times i was not allowed to eat with the family.

Three years ago I ended up in the hosptial for depression. My mother brought my daughter into to see me. And she sat there in front of my daughter and told me what a ******* looser I was and if I would have killed myself we would all be better off. She then said I did not deserve my home. So she had someone take off a window to get in and she was selling my house. She said she legally could because I was in a hospital for the mentally ill, and the money would be used to support chelsy when they had her taken away from me. She had my house sold. My house without my permission. And she was making a 25 thousand dollar profit on the house that she said was hers for the hell i put her through. Never once have I hit my child or abused her in any way. Never once growing up was I told I was loved. But my sibbelings heard it all the time. I got out of the hospital and ended up getting to keep my home and that made my mom mad as hell. I never lost my daughter. The nurse had to remove my mother

yes I know this long I need to vent. Now you know why i want to throw the abortion in my sisters face. My car is in the shop so my sister picked my child up for swimming her kids go same time. My sister ragged on my mom to my daughter about this and that. I have not recovered from the surgey and it is now in my right lung. They fear I have a disease that in the end is fatal. But do they care now. All I am to them is a big fat looser. A have alwasy wanted one thing in live and that was for a family with two parents to take me in and addopt my daughter and I hear them I say I love you. My daugher is the only who has ever said she loved me. My sister is on a pedestal so high and so perect so if I threw the abortion in her face she might think twice. I would love to go to the next family reunion and say hey so and so my sister. That baby you aborted would have been about 18 years old. I wonder if it would have been a boy or girl. Let the whole family know she is not perfect like mom says

Answer 1

Honestly I don't think any of these other people have read your entire question, including the details, if they did one of them would of said that it is amazing you are still alive and putting up with your families sh*t. Hell yeah throw it in her face, she is a MURDERER. You kept your flesh and blood alive and she killed her own offspring. The way she treats you means she deserves something....some punishment!

Answer 2

Learn to pick your battles. What are the short and long term consequences if you win this little war of words? And if you lose? Neither option seems very good.

Let your sister and brother in law know how they are to act if they want to maintain a relationship with you. You don't have to do this at a party in front of everyone it can be with a note or in private. At that time you can also let them know how you hate abortion.

If they will not respect you then cut them off and don't look back. Go on with your life and don't think of them again.

Did you mean to say you were uninvited above? Why? Over what?

If it was over this issue then you have your answer. Don't make an announcement or anything to them. Just don't return calls or communication or anything.

Answer 3

What they're doing is known as displacement.It's a defense mechanism.They can't bear to cope with their own situation so they're taking it out on you. And I've been saying this for years : Family is only an accident of DNA.Real family is supportive of you, and would never treat you like crap.Personally, I'd 'disown' them, and find another support network.And strictly between you and I, if you were going to cut those ties, you are completely entitled to a parting shot,after all the hurtful things they've done.It takes a brave person to walk the path you're on, and it could also be that your sister is jealous of you for going your own way and she's sacrificed happiness for a pretty illusion..So keep on being brave! I know it sucks sometimes, but you can do it.

Answer 4

Throwing back isnt the best option, I think the best option is to first Love Urself and ur baby. U sound educated with ur grammar, so look for a work to do to take care of urself and your baby. I believe if u are successful, they will want u. One thing you shd know is that Success has many Friends, why Failure has not Friend, so try to be succesful and u will c a turnaround. I will also advice that you move away from them, and be with ur baby alone, just try and make a life for urself. Pls dont throw back at ur Sister, it will cause more harm than good. Let them be!

Answer 5

So much misdirected anger here. Saying hurtful things to them will not make you feel better, nor will it change their attitudes toward you. I commend you for being brave enough to be a single parent. I think it takes a special person to raise a child alone. But, you need some positive emotional support on your side. Please find an on-line support group r local single parent support group. Don't continue allowing your sister's problems to fester under your skin. Her abortion is not your business and I don't advise you using it as ammunition. They may be your family, but that doesn't mean they are good for you. Seek help for your own emotional well being as well as your child's. Don't pass on these feelings. You can rise above, you do have the power.

Answer 6

First of all I like to commend you for keeping your child. if they make you feel uncomfortable you should limit your involvement with them not cut them off your Brother in law is only getting your sister's side of the story tell him to but out. Should you approach your sister about keeping your child that's up to you, I have a feeling that if you keep this bottled up it will come out and make your relationship even worse. If you do decide to tell her just hint around it don't come out and say it she'll now what you mean. Your family has some sort of complex in which it is easier to target you,their life is so bad that they look for a scapegoat and its you- tell them how you feel and if they don't like it too bad its off your chest, live your life your way not their way

Answer 7

stupid question i understand, yet i replaced right into a unmarried mom for seven years, with 2 small toddlers - does your husband have a good courting at the same time with his toddlers? i truly struggled, attempting to get the toddlers to make certain their father. also, each and every now and back i mandatory help and it ought to were solid for his or her father to take them. i have purely been to Florida once, and loved it. Why do not you hang on somewhat after your husband strikes and observe the way you do? beginning from scratch can be a good theory, besides the undeniable fact that it must be truly hard.

Answer 8

It sucks being the "poor relation" but that's the path you picked for yourself. Ignore your sister, and don't spend so much time with her. Spend your time with people who actually care about you. Just because you came from the same womb doesn't mean you have to like each other.

Answer 9

No it sounds like you need to go find the father and get the hell away from these people. They treat you terribly. Go out and make a life for yourself and your child. Best of luck to you.

Answer 10

I would talk with your family about this situation and try not to be non-accusative (doing so will only make the situation worse). I would also advise you to seek counseling as well in order to deal with the jerks that are being so judgemental.

Answer 11

If one of my sisters said that to me, I would seriously not speak to her for the rest of my life.

Instead, why don't you just tell her that the way she acts towards you really hurts you sometimes. Takes steps towards communication that will make your relationship with your family better, not worse.