we have been together for 4 years now.. i cant bear to be around them another second! when the mother and daughter are together they are so nasty to me. my partner knows i am upset and has stood up to them for me but they dont care and keep at it.
family life is important to me so i dont want to cut them off altogether...we have livined in our new house together for 6 months now... we had a family dinner in which the two of them were so nasty that they said that the only reason i am living where i am is because of him (implying i cant afford it)... we live in a million dollar home... my partner is in the medical profession and i am in engineering... they are just receptionists! they are just always so nasty...they pick on what i wear... make me feel bad about everything i do... i dont even want to talk when around them because they just pick on everything... i know they must be a bit jealous because i am slim, attractive and they really arent... i cant bite my tongue any longer
2006-07-26 14:41:02 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
when someone is at your home and treats you with disrespect simply say to them. I am sorry you feel that way. If you would rather not be in my home you can feel free to leave.
Keep your voice steady. Use a monotone. Smile as you speak to them. And point to the door.
In this way you do not accept their treatment of you. You make it clear that they are not required to remain in your home. And you put the whole thing back in their lap.
I had the problem of my partners family and his ex-wife's family saying all kinds of unkind things about me to one another. I took the attitude that I am with him. That is his choice and my choice. He knows the truth that I am with him because I love him and he loves me.
I solved my problem by taking particularly gossipy members of the family into my confidence and told them some simple truths. I clcinched the deal by asking them not to discuss it with others in the family and that I really needed them to tell me what to do.
It worked a charm. They were so pleased to be able to help me.... and soon the family gossip changed.
2006-07-30 13:44:50 · answer #1 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a sister-in-law like this so I totally understand! I think that Pam gives you good advice about living far, far away. However, I know it is not always possible and even then there are all those family events, wedding, funerals etc. that you have to go to. Your boyfriend (I assume your not married) needs to not put up with it from them, it is really his job, not yours. If you don't come to some kind of agreement you can live with the 2 of you won't make it. You cannot live with constant harassment and abuse from his family and it not cause a great strain between you and your boyfriend. Later, if you have kids it will be even worse and the kids will end up in a great tug-of-war. Perhaps you could also seek some Professional counsel on what to do. Maybe also look into getting a large well-trained dog, so they won't like dropping by!
2006-07-26 22:09:01 · answer #2 · answered by chynna30_2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is move far away from them. I had a mother in law just like that. Everything was her way or no way. I feel people like this are very jealous of you, and are not satisfied with their own lives, so they take it out on you. I was married into that family for 14 years and had 2 children. The best thing you can do if your spouse wont move away is get out now. It will only get worse never better. That I can promise you from experience. As for holding your tongue, yes keep holding it because your the bigger, better, and more mature then that.
2006-07-26 21:49:46 · answer #3 · answered by pam r 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell them nothing,give them the silent treatment for a while untill they notice you dont speak to them,then one day go absolutely mental at them giving it all you got making them feel like mice,dont let them get a word in when your doing the yelling and if it gets physical well you can alway have them for assault.
It sounds like a power control thing with a lot of jealousy as well so i can just sympathise with you cos my real mum is the same so untill you cant keep a lid on things,always be happy around that will piss em off and be so polite but dont speak to them they will go insane a little from it i hope then bang you blow up and unleash hell.
good luck
be nice to know the sequel
2006-07-26 23:01:05 · answer #4 · answered by draggingout9999 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just remember it takes a better person to not stoop to there level. Sounds like jealousy to me. Try talking to them and let them know how they are making you feel. Tell them if they can't be nice then there is no need in spending time together. good luck.
2006-07-26 21:45:52 · answer #5 · answered by Beth 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as soon as you said your skinny i knew exactly what the problem is their jealous of your looks women hate when they dont have what you've got! they are never going to except you in their world till married life fills you out! ha you would want to play the pu$$y card right now that his family n he love them as much as you but you could keep reminding him how much their comment and actions hurt you! that his mother n sis but your his family know n you could play that for now unless it get nasty! then you play the pu$$y card he'll pic you over them if he loves you!
2006-07-26 21:54:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
WELL YOU EITHER STAND UP FOR YOUR SELF OR TELL THEM WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND! FORGET BEING NICE FOR ONCE. THEY ARE COMING INTO YOUR HOUSE DISRESPECTING YOU AND IT'S TIME TO LET THEM KNOW THAT NO MATTER HOW MAD THEY WILL BE AT YOU. IN THE LONG RUN THEY WILL PROBABLY LEARN TO RESPECT YOU. LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU AREN'T AFTER YOUR HUSBAND'S MONEY AND THAT YOU HAVE YOUR OWN CAREER.
YOU CAN SAY SOMETHING LIKE: I AM SORRY THE TWO OF YOU WISH THAT YOU WERE IN A POSITION LIKE ME BUT YOU TWO ARE RECEPTIONIST AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO PASS JUDGEMENT ON YOU! (LOL-JUST KIDDING)
BUT YOU HAVE TO LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TOLERATE THEIR PUT DOWNS FOR ANY LONGER!
2006-07-26 22:27:00 · answer #7 · answered by confused 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well not to be rude but your situation doesn't sound as half as bad as my mother-in-law. mine has slapped me ac cross he face, threw my daughters toys away in front of her, stolen from me and calls me every name in the book every day, not to mention the fact that my hubby does absolutely nothing about it...... But in your situation I would get your man to tell them both if they want to come into "our" home then they need to behave and treat the women that he has decided to spend his life with, with respect, or they need to not come over anymore......just be thankful that your man stands up for you......mine does nothing!!!
good luck
2006-07-26 21:56:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you must address them yourself--not your husband. be diplomatic and tell them that you feel so sad, ashamed and unworthy due to their insults. tell them that you want to be their as a friend and confidont, and couldyou arrange to have a hart-to-heart to rectify this ununusual, selfish position.
2006-07-26 21:51:50 · answer #9 · answered by georgie g 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would tell them off then not talk for a long time sorry I've had to do it that way
2006-07-26 21:47:35 · answer #10 · answered by jbmasterdragon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋