I can't believe what he said to me ..he doesn't want to be pressure after 6 years ..he's 37 .. should I leave him for that??? if after 6 years you don't know..when are you going to know???
2006-07-26 14:25:10 · 5 answers · asked by CAJA 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok fine. So have a no-pressure discussion as to why he feels pressured and why it is something he is not interested in right now. Ask him what he wants - where he sees the relationship going.
Then, now that you have a clear idea of what he wants, you need to decide if this is what you want. If not, let him know. You are not pressuring him but simply making the best decision for yourself.
Also, just as he feels he has the right not to be pressured, you have the right to express how you feel - tell him that marriage is important to you and that it is one of your goals in life and you need to make sure that you are working towards that goal.
It is possible that he is phobic of marriage or has certain negative ideas of what marriage would be like. (I myself was quite afraid to get hitched - not because I didn't love my guy and didn’t want to be with him - but because my parents had a horrible relationship and I always envisioned marriage as a something that wrecks happy relationships). You need to explore why he isn't willing or able to discuss a more lasting relationship.
But be prepared that the answer might simply be that he isn't interested in making a commitment. In which case you need to accept this and decide if this is something you can live with - or not. And if not, move on. Either way, accept his point of view and tell him - without using ultimatums or pressure - what you want and what you're willing to live with and what you’re not willing to accept for yourself. And if you decide that you want to move on - he needs to accept that - without pressuring you to stay in a dead end relationship you don't want. After all, you have the right not to be pressured too.
I’m sorry, I don’t envy you the tough choice ahead.
2006-07-26 14:42:11 · answer #1 · answered by PurpleFool 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That marriage boat has sailed., if he hasn't asked you in six years.
Time to say adios to that guy, hon, and find some guy, who won't wait that long.
He's getting all of you, and giving you nothing in return, cept a boyfriend. Those you can get any day of the week.
Run don't walk to the nearest exit.You have do much better, next time, as you can't do any worse.
2006-07-26 21:32:11 · answer #2 · answered by johnb693 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is the good advice. Just break up with him. If he really loves you, you even don't need to ask him to marry you and he would ask . In this situation, don't go for him. Lets' stop.
2006-07-26 21:29:56 · answer #3 · answered by Hsu Thet H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouls have left him after 2 years!! Move on!!
2006-07-26 21:27:39 · answer #4 · answered by Boricua Chic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has gotten so comfortable why marry you.It is now up to you.If you want marriage it obvious your BF doesn't so you are going to have to move on.
2006-07-26 21:42:19 · answer #5 · answered by Katherine B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋