I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and its just really bad we have two kids together and i just want the best for them.... Im so depressed with him on his days off he spends 15 to 20 hours on the computer playing games and about 8-9 hours affter work.. He ignores us and when I try to tell him how me and the kids feel about it he yells and talks about me to his friends I try really hard I cook I clean I take care of both the kids all day every day he does nothing but work and devote the rest of his time to the computer and its driving me crazy. Its one thing when he ignores me but are kids are 1 and 2 1/2 they dont know any better and all they want is their dads attention but he told his friends that all he is happy with in life is playing the game would I be selfish if I gave up on this relationship that is going no where or am I wrong in being mad at him for spending so much time on the computer?????
2006-07-26 14:24:07 · 13 answers · asked by Candace B 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I hate to say it, but it sounds like you would be better off without him! If he was serious about the relationship and being a family, he would have asked you to marry him a long time ago. It's time to sit down and figure out - what does he contribute? Why cook, clean, and do all that hard work for nothing in return from him except possibly a chunk of his pay? And does that chunk of his pay add up to more than he costs you? Probably not.
Make 2 realistic budgets - 1 if you stay and 1 if you go (don't count on child support). Take a good hard look at the facts and then decide if there is any way for you to start over. Keep in mind that by staying, you are allowing yourself and your children to be mentally and emotionally (possibly physically) abused. It's better to be happy in a tiny apartment and sitting on the floor than miserable living with a jerk in a house!!!
You should be able to get child support if you leave him and since you aren't married, it will be easier to leave (less legal hassel). However, remember there are a lot of deadbeat dads and don't count on his support.
Good luck and continue to be a great mom - they are going to need you! Be more careful about the next guy you choose and watch out for guys who want to meet you but really are pervs looking for easy targets (kids).
2006-07-26 14:35:57 · answer #1 · answered by curiouschick18 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since you're not married, the first thing you should do is go to court and get an order requiring him to pay child support. After you're sure your kids willl be provided for financially, you shoulld tell him that if he doesen't want to be there, he should leave. You never know, he might change his attitude, or he might grow up in the future, but for now, it seems like the guy is full of bitterness and resentment and couldn't possibly be good for you or your kids.
2006-07-26 15:04:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out now. This loser will never be anything but trouble.
I note that you say boyfriend and not husband.
Men who love you and your kids marry you and act like fathers. It's really that simple. He has you doing all the chores and dealing with the kids. If he wanted to be a part of the family he would. He doesn't want to.
2006-07-26 14:29:47 · answer #3 · answered by jymsis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong in being mad at him. You should be. He's being a jerk. Tell him how you feel. Maybe he'll listen and try to spend more time with his kids. If not, it may be for the better to break up, since it's obvious he doesn't want to be with his kids.
2006-07-26 14:28:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's what you deserve for having children out of wedlock, and not knowing a person before you get committed in a relationship with them. Hooray ghetto values!
Your self-imposed ignorance and loose morals have not only ruined your life, but the lives of two innocent children. I, for one, hope you die in a fire.
2006-07-26 14:35:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go and get councling even if its just you. five years is a long time but if your not happy and he wont make any effort to try and work things out then you do need to move on. maybe just even threating to do so will open his eyes a bit. good luck
2006-07-26 14:30:07 · answer #6 · answered by Jester 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The choice is yours.If you have told him how his actions make you feel and nothing has changed,then if you are not happy then I say move on and find someone who will appreciate you.
2006-07-26 14:44:51 · answer #7 · answered by Katherine B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've been with him for 5years already and if it is really rocky like you say why continue any longer. he does not look like the steady type by actually playing video games.get through with him and get on with your life you will find someone who will appreciate you and give you all the attention you desire.
2006-07-26 14:34:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
once you're saying make issues suitable do you recommend come again which contain him? i think of i choose slightly greater information. i'm no longer attempting to insult you yet once you're no longer likely to come again at the same time then what's it which you attempt to make suitable? bear in mind you won't manage to alter historic previous and reckoning on how your ex boyfriend feels approximately "making it suitable" it is particularly helpful to invite him what he thinks will "make it suitable" or restore it. bear in mind he won't choose to come again at the same time and that's something you will would desire to think of roughly if it includes it then once you have moved on do your superb to stay committed on your new boyfriend despite if if he does choose to come again at the same time be arranged for him to strengthen the cheating many cases until he gets the unhappiness of the cheating that became accomplished to him out of his equipment. additionally, do your superb to stay committed.
2016-12-10 16:20:44 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant give up yet, but if he doesn't want to change, then it might be inevitable.
2006-07-26 14:28:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋