I've been talking to my ex lately and he can be an asshole. But also he can be really sweet. He recently broke up with this girl and she's been leaning on him and she says she loves him and she says she gave up everything for him...which is not true. He wants to kno why girls fall in love with assholes. I kno some guys pretend to be nice then turn into assholes...but what about the girls that kno hes and asshole?
2006-07-26 13:43:53 · 12 answers · asked by SamE 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think attraction has a lot to do with a great deal of self-esteem. Sometimes, whether your spirit is bad or good just seems not to matter at all; if you do something "different", or especially if you're good at what you do, it will make your self-esteem grow. I think that's what girls often "see" in guys, regardless of what those guys really are deep down inside. That's why girls can fall in love with assholes just as easily as with geniuses, granted both esteem themselves sufficiently.
In fact, I'd venture to speculate that those girls often fail to see the truth about those guys until it's too late. (I'm thinking of a particular girl who was nearly killed in a car accident. Guess who the driver was, and what he was high on...)
I really can't tell you about a girl's point of view... :P But think about it: deep down inside, girls - and women - want to feel safe, right? They know by instinct that life is tough and that they need to find a mate who can protect them. (And that instinct is quite surely as old as Humankind, and certainly not unique to our species.) Wouldn't that be far preferrable to a whiner or a loser who can't get anything done?
Some men are aware of this. And others, of even more.
Even if a guy deep down is a complete asshole, if he can press the right buttons, he'll score all he wants. That, I know for sure. (From observation of a certain someone who happened to seduce my mother after she'd divorced my father and eventually break her heart by cheating on her, just like he did and does and will do to all the others. My mother was just another one, and I have not been blind to what she's suffered.)
And how do they achieve this? By lying. By faking. By deceiving. By not being who they are. By knowing just which buttons to push. That, I can guarantee you to be true.
As for the girls who know that the guys are assholes, I guess they'll just have to follow their hearts, like everyone else in this crazy game.
A piece of advice, though: don't trust the ubiquitous feeling of "what the hell, he'll change eventually. I can change him." too much, for your own sake. He WON'T change that much. Not in a lifetime.
This is the humble opinion of a guy who's never even kissed a girl in his life, but who has seen a lot of good people suffering needlessly of broken hearts, and of many other wrongs going on throughout the world, and who simply would like it to be otherwise.
Love with your hearts AND with your brains.
Be safe out there.
2006-07-26 14:15:23 · answer #1 · answered by LJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They often come in pretty packages with flowery verse. I avoid the charming but have been taken a time or two. Sometimes takes awhile to understand that I fell for something that didn't exist. And could only admit after my bruised ego healed a bit. I just got out of the worst relationship ever involving a charmer in the last year and a half. Was very hard to do, but now I feel good and I hope never to fall in that snare again. Having learned what to look for in that experience I stand a better chance.
2006-07-26 20:53:18 · answer #2 · answered by -Tequila17 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We will never know why girls fall in love with assholes, but they sure do all the time!!!
2006-07-26 20:47:09 · answer #3 · answered by Troy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. We want to fix him.
2. It's ok if he's an asshole to everyone but me, because I'm one too sometimes.
3. Don't have to live up to high standards, because he doesn't.
2006-07-26 20:47:20 · answer #4 · answered by Catspaw 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All guys are assholes. Period.
2006-07-26 20:47:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dumb chicks never cease to amaze me either. Why do they put up with abusive men ???
2006-07-26 20:48:21 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
asshole asshole, where are you?
2006-07-26 20:47:26 · answer #7 · answered by Sally Pepsi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
growing phase
2006-07-26 20:46:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is the father she never had !!!
2006-07-26 20:47:36 · answer #9 · answered by Zoe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is your point?
2006-07-26 20:47:50 · answer #10 · answered by Jimmy35 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋