Why is my family so unsupportive?

Question

I have been in the military for 8 years and have been planning on getting out. I have never been really happy although I have had some good assignments and the pay is decent. I did go to Iraq for 4 months and they worried about me when I was there.

My family keeps telling me that I should stay in because I won't have any money when I get out. And they think that I won't be able to make it on my own. I told my sister I would live with her for a couple of months and then she started with the whole "you should stay in".

We got in a fight and I told her I want to disown my family. I have constantly supported all of them, sending them on vacations, giving them loans, buying them things. Why can't they support me on this? They would rather have me stay in and possibly end up in Iraq again than get out and be safe and settled.

Answer 1

You sound like a very nice person who is and has been used by your family unfortunately. Maybe its because if you leave the army they might feel that you can no longer be as generous and forth coming to help them out as you will have to think of yourself.The way I see it, you are old enough to make up your own mind. Start thinking about what number 1 wants and make yourself happy for a change. If your sister doesn't want you to move in with her you may have to look at other alternatives like other friends or family. Don't let any of them make your decision for you especially if you are not happy, because there is nothing worse than regret. Your family will just have to except your decision. good luck!

Answer 2

The best thing to do would be to SAVE (stop spending your money on your family and do not make any unnecessary purchases). Just SAVE. Get off of Yahoo Answers, update your resume and get on to Monster.com, Craigslist.com, Careerbuilder.com (or one of the hundreds of other job searching websites) and find a job BEFORE you leave the military. Your family may be a little reluctant to support your move because you're leaving the situation as a dependent (someone who will be mooching and laying around). With your savings and new job, find a nice little studio to live in. Show them that this is the BEST thing for you because you are ready and able to handle your BUSINESS.

Don't forget to PRAY every step of the way, too. Because when the people we love aren't giving us the support we need, GOD is always there!!!

Thank you for keeping our beloved country safe. I wish you luck!

Answer 3

UR a soldier & proberly a soldier thru & thru.
The World's taking an unsettled view of War, war against terrorism, war against the Taliban. The List goes on & on.
People R becoming uncomfortable with these conflicts praps that's reflecting in UR families behaviour.
I'd rather U got out of the Military, It's becoming a sticky point here in the UK & is spreading from the US.
UR average Yank (don't take that as an insult please I'm just generalising.) Want their lives 2 return 2 the cosy, world-leader position of a few years back & It Ain't gonna happen.
Something's troubling UR family find out what it is?
Hear it from them as 2 Y they're behaving like this, huh?

Answer 4

If you want to quit the job that's totally your own affair - you've done your bit for the country after all.....

But you can't go telling people you're going to live with them, even if you have helped out in the past. Asking might get better results, and failing that you'll have to be prepared to support yourself with another type of job. I'm sure if they see you getting by on your own they'll end up being more positive about whatever you've chosen to do....

Answer 5

I think I understand why. The military is a good career move a lot of times and can keep you financially secure for the rest of your life (retirement, etc.) -- I DOUBT they are not supporting you. I think they just don't want you to have to suffer financially. Believe me, it's NOT easy suffering financially -- we'll never be able to retire -- late 40s -- no savings, no retirement and health issues with no health insurance. I have two sons. One is military minded and probably joining the Coast Guard although he wanted Army. He's seen what we've gone through and he knows that it would be a good career. The "jobs" out there in the U.S. STINK now -- low pay wages for hard hard work and this is for U.S. Citizens. I support my son's decision although him leaving home is going to do me in......I want his life to be a good one more than ANYTHING. Instead of getting angry, try to look at it this way. We love our kids more than life itself - yes, even when you're grown. They want the best for you.

Answer 6

If you feel the need to get out don/t let them stop you. after all it's your life. You should have the school deal when you get out plus whatever training you've had while in (hopefully something usable in civilian life). Military pay isn't that much but the benefits can be good. Civilian pay can be better and the benefits maybe almost as good. As far as making it on your own, who knows. It's your life good ,bad or other. In my opinion as long as you don't become a drunk or drugy you should do OK in whatever you decide and do.

Answer 7

It would be easier to answer your question if we knew what branch of the military you were in and what your job was.

Some jobs really do not transfer well in the civilian world. Have you explored employment possibilities? You should do that so that you will know for yourself what the reality would be should you decide to become a civilian.

Information like that is what you need to be able to present to your family, if you are truly concerned about their viewpoint.

Answer 8

Please remember this, family consists of individuals who love us, but each has a mind of their own. I feel they are worried that if you get out, you'll find yourself without a house of your own or a job. But then again, the decision is yours. You have to do things that make you feel happy and fulfilled, and in the long run, when they see you are doing OK, they'll most likely apologize to you for not having supported you in the first place.
Good luck!

Answer 9

Based on you rpost it appeatrs you want to freeload off family and thats why they are non supportive. Get some trainning stay in and get out a better person

Answer 10

Well, you served some decent time, along with showing your support for your family. I think you should be supported on your decision to make the change.