Break up help?

Question

Ok...well....we didnt break up yet but i think im gonna do it...n we have broke up b4 n i know how i get....i dont eat dont sleep...i dont really talk to anyone...n i never have fun no matter what im doing....what should i do?

we r breakin up cuz he has cheated b4 n im just tired of it...we always fight

i want to break up but its very hard for me...n then wen we break up i want to be wit him

weve been together 3 yrs n its not easy to just up n leave him

Answer 1

IF IT DONT FEEL RIGHT THEN ITS NOT RIGHT SO BREAK UP

Answer 2

I think there is a lot missing from your question. You only tell us how you feel once you two have broken up. What are your feelings now? Why are you breaking up? Would you still have the same feelings of not talking to people, not having fun, not eating or sleeping if it was another guy, or is it something about him that makes you unhappy without him?

Answer 3

Why are u going to break up? If he is mean and he hits u and cheats on u then u are better off without him.
There is a really good book that will help u get over a breakup called Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. I strongly suggest to anyone in your situation to read it. It will help u deal with letting go of people that you are emotionally dependent on who are hurting u.

Answer 4

first make sure the reason u dont want to break up with him isn't stupid then think. think real hard and when u figure out why you want to break up with him ask yourself r u sure this is why or are you just scared that he'll leave you first.
and if you know you want to break up with him and its for good cause then do it but it sounds you where like i was when i first broke up with my boyfriend and i did the same thing you did but i figured out i really love him so maybe you really love your boyfriend.

Answer 5

there plenty of fish in the sea. it sound old but its true.
you'll never going to find out how cold is the water untill you make the jump. there plenty of guys out there. its hard in the begening but you'll get over it, and you be glad you did. Rent the tina turner movie what love got to do with it.

Answer 6

Break up and take time to find out who you are and what you really want in a relationship.

Answer 7

It sounds like you're very emotionally attached to the guy. Lot's of memories I bet too. Yeah, these situations really do suck. Especially more so for girls. (Y'all really are the most sensitive creatures in the world.) I'm also willing to bet that no one else on the planet makes you feel quite the way he does. You're definitely in a bind here.

Instead of breaking up with him, try this: I figure your relationship is pretty much one-sided, (in that he is in control of it) so you're going to have to toughen up a little if you want things to work out. If you want him to respect you more and treat you more the way you would like to be treated, be a little more challenging to him. Take some of that control back for yourself. Send him the message that two can play at this game, and you're making a comeback.

Counter his points when you think yours is better, defend your stance on whatever the topic might be when you are conversing with him, and most importantly, don't get angry or cry. I seriously think he will respect you more and treat you the way you want him to if you stay strong. Not only will this improve the situation, but it will give you a stronger sense of pride, which will lead to a healthier relationship.

Also, don't devote your entire day to him. Whether it be just thinking about him, or spending time with him in person. You need to give the relationship a little breathing room, or otherwise you'll choke it to death. Give him a little time to miss you, (I'd say meet with him about once or twice a week) and don't worry about what it is he's doing when you're not looking. That's his business, just as yours is your own.

If he's going out with other girls behind your back, go hang out with other guys. In a truly healthy relationship, neither partner worries what the other is doing behind their back. Whether you like it or not, he's free to do whatever he pleases, (as long as it's within the law) even if it's dating other girls.

Being angered by this only let's him win. He knows it makes you jealous. Get this: He also knows that it's what has made you stick around so long. So instead of playing this game by the limited rules you've been playing buy, get even.

A woman (or young woman in your case) is attractive when she shows that she doesn't need to be with her man. Starting to notice how a lot of things I'm suggesting are almost the complete oopposite of what it is you're doing? Well think about it. If what you're doing now is giving you these results, wouldn't you think that doing the opposite would give you pretty much an equal and opposite reaction too?

Instead, make plans for yourself to spend time with your other friends, and just go out and live your life again. It's your life, not his. He's just lucky enough to be a part of it. Remember that.

You'll find that if you just try it, it becomes easier over time. Eventually your mind will start thinking about other things instead of stressing over him. Who knows, you might even have a good time just hanging out at the mall with your friends or simply even reading a good book.

Lastly, try to make things fun again. He'll probably lighten up if you start teasing him. Just don't over do it. If playful banter turns into rude and loud comments, you should probably back off a lot.

Let me put it like this: If he's laughing, keep going. If he looks mad, tell him you're just razzing him, (I'm sure you have your own way of saying, whatever works for you) and back off a bit until he cools off.

However, don't confuse anger with a playfully angery face. I think you'll know the difference though, so you'll be fine. Relax, and try not to think too hard about this. It's easier than you might think.

Perhaps that's what the problem has been all along? You don't like it when he's quiet and indecisive do you? Just keep things interesting and your relationship will be ten times better.

Regardless of whatever the popular belief is, guy's don't cheat just to see how many women they can be with. It's usually just because they are bored of the relationship they are currently in. The same goes for women. Every day, guys and girls alike get their hearts broken and don't know what to do about it.

I know I'm assuming a lot about your situation here, because I don't absolutely know what's going on with you and him, but if any of this is making sense to you, by all means, give it a try. What do you have to lose? Either you can try to work things out, or you can look forward to a lot of lonely late night eating binges out of the fridge for the next couple weeks.

You will find that he'll start to see you in a new light, and pretty soon, (assuming your relationship hasn't completely crumbled to the ground yet) he won't be paying attention to any other girls. You will be the subject of his imagination from now on, and things will be fine.

But, since you do seem determind to dump him, (who knows, he might be too much of an ****** for you to handle at this point) then just remember what I told you. These tips aren't meant to heal the wounds of just this scenario in a relationship. I think you'll have healthier, not to mention more enjoyable relationships in the future if you just remember to do these things.

I'm a guy, I should know.

Answer 8

stay with him, or prepare yourself to be sick.